It's officially...over. Finally.....we can all exhale. My neighbors finally hit the road last night. (I have a picture of their moving van for future posting :> )

The last couple of weeks were very...strange. I talked to CN daily..sometimes 2 or 3 times daily...she was stressed out and needing support and companionship. She seemed strangely normal...and nice...and I realized that that was what our friendship could have been if she didn't have such severe mental health problems.

I felt good about how I handled things...but strange that I was communicating with her. It was a very weird feeling to accept that Yes, she is crazy and Yes, she is also nice and worthy of forgiveness. I was able to forgive before she left...able to move on...and that felt good. I sincerely hope that her life in TX will be better than it was here, but I have a sinking feeling that she will take her problems from here with her.

I also think our neighbor died last night. She lives across the street from me and has been dying of some kind of bone cancer. I found out only about 3 weeks ago. I meant to take over a meal and...I didn't There are cars parked all over the front of the house and street....I nearly cried when I drove up and saw them...It's so terrible....cancer is an awful thing.

Things have been a bit...rough for me over the last month. My relationship with Thomas has been really up and down and I think I've been grieving alot about last year...I'm slowly coming to terms with the trauma that it was for me. While it was all happening, I just couldn't afford to let myself feel afraid or angry or believe that things might not work out. Now, every time I look at Zoe I just...can't believe what we went through.

I have been subbing at our local Montessori preschool/kindergarten and I've also made a *definite* ( ) career decision. I've decided to pursue a PhD in health psychology, and I'm thinking about all of my options. There is a program at North Dakota State that would only be 2 years with an MS in psych. So...I'm considering getting an MS from St. Cloud State (not the greatest program, but...I'm trying to be realistic about my options considering where we live ) over the next few years. The entire program is available both on-campus and online...this would allow me to complete it from home except research and internship stuff....then maybe in a few years I could keep doing my research here while finishing up coursework a couple of days a week in Fargo????

Who Knows...

Kris