The sun is shining, the sun is shining! It's cold, but we're about to bundle up and go for a little walk. Did I mention that the sun is shining??? :stars: How do people survive this weather year in/year out. I think I was meant to be a bear and hibernate through this.

Well...at least that is what the exhaustion that I'm going through tells me...I need sleeep. DH is convinced that I have chemo-related exhaustion. I actually have less energy now that I did when I was pregnant and having chemo. We were talking about me taking an online class this summer and dh said "Kris, how can you? There is no way you could be successful". He's right...and it's kind of scarey. I am so tired most days that by 11am I'm ready for bed. I've had several days where I just have to lock my bedroom door and let Aidan and Zoe run about in my room while I try and....sleep in the middle of the morning/day. I have nights when I'm getting the kids into bed at 8pm that I am nearly crying because I'm so tired.

I was always such a high energy person...going, moving, doing..and it is really weird for me to continue to struggle with the energy issue. It has definitely hurt by ability to cope this winter because I don't have the energy to fix myself up or leave the house like I did in years past. I literally often feel too tired to walk in the mall or just get the kids in and out of the van, etc.

I have blown this off until recently and have just been trying to muddle through...but I realize that it's making me feel really bummed. I am always so tired that I just can barely stand it. My sewing, scrapbooking etc has totally dropped off. I want to work on my projects...I haven't lost interest...I just am soooo tired all of the time. I'll get started and then find myself asleep or having to put it down because my concentration is so off. Hopefully, since we've hit the 1 year post-chemo thing this will start to get better. I hit the 1 year post-radiation thing in May...and maybe that will be the magic time? I hope.

Zoe had her 12 month peds appt. today (OMG, I just can't believe she is about to turn 1 !!!!!!!!!) and she is going to have to have a PT work-up for her balance etc. The scooting that she does is potentially an issue because she always only does it on one side. In addition, the pedi had noted before that when she gets excited she shakes her right hand/arm wildly and not her left. Also, though she's been standing and taking steps for a good month now, she has made pretty much no progress at all. She is still taking the same few steps and appears to not have the strength or balance to progress. Her tone seems to be the same for both legs, so
it may be overkill. This might be normal for Zoe, but the pedi wants us to have her worked up. I suppose there is no harm in that.

Part of me isn't worried....the other part of me just feels a bit nervous that there is damage to her brain and...that this may affect more than just motor stuff.

Hopefully, this is just how Zoe is and thing will be fine. We might all be overreacting based on her history. Her hemoglobin and wbc is perfect...no concerns in that regard.

The tween hoo-ha continues though for Amanda things have settled down. Socially, she seems to be getting along with everyone and is thrilled to announce to me that she now is invited almost every day to eat at the "nice popular girl's" table. I'm not sure if I'm supposed to be excited/proud about that or just feel more dread. There is a part of me that is glad that after all of the drama of this year that she is being accepted into a group...that I...never really was a part of

Her little friend with the social issues and smoking etc ratcheted things up a notch by deciding to become....sexually active. :horror: I'm...horrified...really...and thank God so is my daughter. Basically, this little girl who...just turned 11...that is ELEVEN.....has been sending obscene notes to a boy in her class (also 11). She was telling Amanda that she was going to do all kinds of things with him and I told Amanda to just ignore her and to be discouraging about it....I didn't call the mom because I just...couldn't anymore. Apparently, that was the best thing that I could have done because the little girl had the boy over and locked herself in her bedroom with him. :horror: Again...horrified doesn't cover it. She described to Amanda that they had been doing "sexual moves" and making out....and then she penned a letter to him that was found by the school...and the school has taken over being involved.

DH and I made it crystal clear to Amanda that her friendship with this girl had ended and she was sooo relieved. Yesterday, she told the little girl that she can't play with her anymore because her parents won't let her and the mom called and left 1/2 crying messages on my answering machine. Too bad...but I'm not backing down.

Andrew and Alex finally took and passed their white belt tests for Kung Fu yesterday and they were both thrilled. In Kung Fu you have to take lessons and learn skills before getting the white belt...and they were both nervous....They had to count to 10 in chinese as well as do their *stuff*...and both are really happy!

Since starting the Self Challenge I've lost 6 pounds. It's tough for me to be really happy about it because I had lost 30...but regained 10...so I'm actually losing weight that I already lost.....I don't think I'll really feel like I'm losing until I've lost 4 more and have hit the -30 again.

On the crazy neighbor front....my neighbor called me back yesterday to ...apologize. I had kind of gone nuts and let her have it with both barrels, telling her all of the nasty things my CN ever had said about her, and almost insisting that she call CN in Houston to check it out. I made it clear that I was no longer going to be a victim in this situation or tolerate the crap. She did some thinking and was pretty devastated. Apparently, the things I told her had struck a cord with her because they were all based on situations that had happened before I moved here and I could have only known about them if CN had told me. She had a long talk with her dh who said "see...I told you that CN was trouble".

So for now, I will put her comments behind me and give her another chance.....

Kris[/quote]