Wow…what a crazy week it’s been!

First, was the much anticipated (by me) visit from my mom. I did a good job of keeping it a secret from Thomas and the kids and my mom and I really had fun with it. She is about to start a new job, but the week before she came, I implied to Thomas that she had decided to retire and was thinking about just coming here to live. Thursday after work, Thomas came home to find my mom sitting in the kitchen with Aidan on her lap. He was stunned into…well…a bizarre silence. Don’t take my word for it though, we video taped it :>

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KVOVIkupJNs Feel free to notice the stunned “where did your mom come from” followed by him going to the sink and washing some dishes …the akward silence…the inability to look at us while we put him on about her coming here to stay.

We know we’re bad. hehehe!

The weekend really was a whirlwind though. Amanda had dance practice Thursday and Friday night and her recital was Saturday morning. It ended up being just my mom and I that went because Zoe had a bit of a fever and Alex was vomiting. I felt really badly for her that the rest of the clan couldn’t be there. To top it off, they always sell flowers at these events and they were sold out when we got there 15 minutes before the performance started. Amanda was also in such a bad mood all morning that we ended up giong to the recital and then just coming home. There was no fanfare…no excitement…because I was so upset about Amanda’s sass and talking back.

The recital was great, but my camera also wasn’t working properly and I couldn’t get a good picture. I was so bummed!

Saturday night, Thomas and I went out and stayed at an area hotel. We were hoping to watch movies all night and enjoy each other’s company and were surprised to find that we tucked ourselves into bed, turned on the first movie..and then drifted off to sleep! At least we were able to sleep through the night without little ones waking up for the bottle or kicking us with their cold little feet.

Sunday, Amanda, Zoe, my Mom and I went out for brunch at IHOP to celebrate Amanda and Zoe’s birthdays and to have a mini-mother’s day meal together a couple of weeks early. We talked about Amanda’s recital and just enjoyed each other’s company. The weekend ended too soon and before I knew it, I was putting my mom back on the plane to head home.

I can’t believe that it’s already Wednesday! I’ve managed to get some gardening done this week and have started some Spring Cleaning, but really…the week has just passed by too fast.

Yesterday, we had the neonatology appointment for Zoe. The PT/OT person confirmed what I have suspected all along: Zoe is not developing completely normally. The scoot that she was doing wasn’t a *normal* scoot and although she is walking, she is standing improperly, crouching in an unusual manner and is walking with her legs too far apart. She did the developmental milestone testing and tested a month behind her adjusted age as well….

The good news, of course, is that she is walking. The doc said that he wouldn’t have expected her to be walking yet. The bad news is that the PT/OT feels that there is a problem with Zoe’s development of patterns for a variety of reasons. She doesn't know if this will only affect things like crawling/early motor stuff or will end up being a bit more pervasive and affect later motor skills, language or learning...though there are no real obvious problems. You don't look at Zoe and immediately think that something is wrong.

The doc said that there is no way of knowing really if this is damage from the vincristine, a problem, ro something that will eventually correct itself.

We will be seeing a physical therapist on May 15th and instead of going back to the neonatology clinic in a year will be having another appointment in 3-6 months for follow-up on neurodevelopmental issues with the neonatologist. Zoe's speech continues to lag as well…though it is more difficult to determine whether or not that is just her normal. Amanda wasn’t talking at all by 1 1/2 and then suddenly was speaking in complete sentences…so who knows.

The thing is, we really felt for awhile that she was saying words: cookie, molly etc…but it turns out that we were hearing a word that we were familiar with and were assuming that she was saying the word for that object as well. We are unable to get her to repeat the words and her best attempt at mama is babababababababa Again..it might be Zoe’s normal. I suggested that the motor weirdness might also be normal for Zoe but the PT/OT told me she didn’t think so…that there were a few red flags popping up as she watched her.

Score 1 for mother’s intuition….not that I’m happy to be right about that, of course.

I also started a liquid diet yesterday. I have decided that I use food as a comfort, to celebrate, if I’m bummed…but don’t just view it as nourishment….I also just can’t eat *normally*…even when I really set out to have just 1 serving, I end up eating and eating and eating. It has been so depressing to me and I just haven’t been able to get it under control. So…the liquid protein diet has been born. I decided to *detox* off of food. Alcoholics can stop drinking…but people with food issues…can’t give up food. I guess this is my attempt to try and take away the emotional eating. What’s funny is that it is actually a relief. I have made the rule that I am not eating food items right now but can drink as many shakes as I want whenever I’m hungry so that I’m not starving myself etc…and having eliminated the choice to eat food…I’m not obsessing on it hardly at all. Yesterday I only drank 4 shakes that were 110 calories each…and that’s it. I wasn’t hungry nor was I miserable. Obviously, I’m going to up my calories….I don’t want to be unhealthy about it…..but it’s interesting that taking away the choice of food was/is such a relief.

Kris[/quote]