I can't believe last week is over and a new week is about to start.

Highlights from last week?

I met a mom at Menards. Our little ones were playing in the play area that they have set up there and we got to talking about how hard it was to meet people here in Central MN. It turns out, she has lived here 12 years and she still struggles. Her words to me "if your grandmother wasn't born here, you almost have no chance." It was very validating! Ultimately, she ended up inviting me over to her house for a Tuesday playdate. Being the desperate mom of 5 that I am, I eagerly accepted and showed up at a stranger's house with a group of moms that I've never met!

There were several moms and at least 15 other children at her house. It was a lot of fun until Andrew was helping Aidan down a blow-up water slide and slipped and "threw him down the slide face first". Those are her words. Andrew was really shocked by it and then was more upset because I got angry with him. When it was time to go, he laid down on the hostesses hammock to dry off. Immediately, the other kids doggy-piled him and...of course the hammock broke. I was mortified...the hostess looked shocked. All of us kind of stood there and gaped for a minute. I'm sure it all felt worse to me than it really was. Now that a few days have past, I am feeling much better about it. Also, the mom called me the next day and so I realized that she wasn't really as upset about it as I had imagined.

I did meet some interesting people there though. I sat next to a therapist for most of the afternoon. It's a good thing that I didn't know that before starting my conversation with her or I probably would have been a paranoid mess....not...that I have any issues or anything. :>

All-in-all, I would say that it was a highlight of the week.

What really counted though, is that the floor FINALLY was finished on Wednesday!

Floor Brag:



And the cabinets were put back in on Friday.

The ecstasy was short-lived though after we discovered that the floor people had damaged a kitchen cabinet and it can't easily be repaired.



The cabinet guy came to reinstall our center island and tried a little cover up fix, but he basically said that in order to repair it we will have to remove the entire granite slab and cabinet.



Thomas' comment: "Why. Why can't anything ever just be simple for us?"

sigh

I don't know why he said this...do I get to blame him for calling upon Murphy and his laws?

I was walking on the floor by the refrigerator last night and noticed...it is bowing out again. No. I'm not kidding. I thought that maybe I was imagining it. Thomas walked on it and got a startled look on his face. "I can't handle this anymore...I can't. You deal with it."

Ummm. WHAT?

So all day today we have walked over it to see if it really is happening...and we've even placed a level board on it that showed....that it is bowing out again.




I'm just beside myself. Thomas has retreated into a shell of denial "I think it's fine".

Fine. hmmmm.

It does feel like everything is just so complicated lately. We have hit the wall this summer and everyone in the house is grouchy, grouchy, grouchy. Thomas has been retreating to the downstairs media room to watch re-runs of Miami-Vice on DVD, I've been hiding upstairs watching HGTV and the house has been kind of crumbling around us. Last night, we finally admitted to each other that we are just totally overwhelmed. It feels like the delicate balancing act that we had going on before I was diagnosed and before Zoe was born was completely disrupted and our lives are now like a freight train flying out ahead of us while we just stand and shake our heads in dispair. For awhile, I really tried repeatedly to get a grip on things...but it was too difficult because my energy level was just not where it needed to be. I've also spent the last year sorting through my own feelings about my life...mistakes that I made, roads that I never traveled....This selfish focusing on myself really is a necessity. I am trying very hard to make peace with myself, my life, and my choices. Ultimately, I think that this will make me a better mother and wife.

I have to admit that I haven't done everything that I need to do to take care of myself recently.....I have gone on and off Lexapro more times than I'm willing to admit even though it helps me tremendously. I just don't want to be taking something...but...I recently came to realize that I'm just a more even-keel, happier, more patient person when I'm on it. I am not eating well, exercising regularly or getting enough sleep. More and more I've fallen out of a routine and have been lulled into procrastination in all areas by the seemingly endless hours of summer.

Time to get a grip.

I have decided that the first thing I will do is institute a whisper rule in our house. The voices around here have gotten way too loud and angry. Everyone tries to out-talk or out-yell the other person. So...from now on, at the end of each day, the person who has managed to speak in the quietest, calmest voice each day will win a prize.

I hope that as we begin to speak in lower, quieter voices that we will also feel calmer.

Andrew starts school in less than a month. I want to get back to savoring this summer. The first month or so was great...and we can have that back again.[/quote]