If I don't start going to church regularly, someone should put me over their knee and give me a good paddling. I'm not sure why, but I feel like I'm having some sort of unusual religious experience. I kind of brushed off running into the two women at B&N the other night .... Today started off with the tile guys coming to work on our backsplash (yeah!). While they were here and I was lounging lazily on the sofa watching election news (Go Hillary!) my doorbell rang. Despite the mess on my living room floor, I decided to open it. It was one of the leaders from the Sartell Mom's Club meeting that I went to. She was so tickled by Zoe showing up after having painted herself with markers and our conversation that she brought me over a book for Zoe...called Purple, Green and Yellow. It's the story about a little girl who colors all over herself and it is super cute. (Wow...ok...so there are some cool moms that live around here!). She then proceeded to tell me that she....would really like for us to get our kids together sometime so that we could get to know each other better. I'm "real", I "get it". Woohoo for me! I'm sure glad that I returned that email!

I offered to let her come on in to my "real" and really messy house "Step over the cheerios on the floor..."

Not 5 minutes after she left, the phone rang. It was a woman that I haven't seen in a good year. She babysat Aidan when I had my biopsy a couple of years ago and then Aidan stayed with her on several occasions. She has Lupus and eventually quit the daycare thing.... *Something* just made her think of me and want to call...and did I "want to meet at the McDonald's play area" with the kids. Hmmm...let me check my busy planner to see if I can pencil you in. ... "Sure, I'd love to." I actually left the workers at the house in order to do it. "Close the garage door when you leave".

We had lunch and she started talking about her experience with steroids and how much trouble she had had last year...and how her sister (also has Lupus) had called her crying last week at 3 am.....coincidence?...Seriously.... So...I told her about some of the trouble that I had been having without going into too much detail. I'm telling you that I have never had such an empathetic, understanding conversation about this. Phew! What a relief. I felt like stones were just falling from my heart after talking with her. It does pay to open up sometimes. But beyond that, she and I used to talk a lot about writing. So we spent time rehashing writing projects, talking about our passions, and agreed to start doing this regularly.

Then I was also asked to write some more for the SC Times for the mothering section because the editor would like for me to be a "recurring" author.

So....hmmmmm....I really don't believe in this whole say a prayer and see what happens thing. I am fairly opposed to the idea that God will reach out and let you see some sort of acts of Hers to draw you in....I don't know how to organize all of these things in my mind.

I can say that I have felt a lot of sadness, isolation and frustration this winter...moreso than usual because I've struggled so much with not feeling well on top of it all. I have asked God on several occasions "If you're out there....."...and then...my internist called me which is what got the ball rolling on trying to work the whole lung thing out...and she has been so truly great about everything. She didn't have to call me....Good lord...if she hadn't called me 2 1/2 years ago who knows when I would have found out about the lymphoma. :huh: I always second guess myself so I don't tend to go to see the doctor out of fear of looking silly. I'll need to work on that. I think I am working on it, actually.

But just to recap my little acts of God this past week...there there was the offer to join the playgroup, Hillary taking 3 out of 4 last night (come on, you KNOW I get to count it. All of the Obama fans and Zogby knew it would take a miracle :> ),the mom showing up today out of the blue, the phone call and lunch date, the email about writing more..... all when I have been feeling at a low point.

I'm drawn to the Footprints in the Sand poem:


One night a man had a dream.

He dreamed he was walking along the beach with the Lord.

Scenes from his life flashed across the sky
and he noticed two sets of footprints in the sand,
one belonging to him and the other to the Lord.

When the last scene of his life had flashed before him,
he recalled that at the lowest and saddest times of his life
there was only one set of footprints.

Dismayed, he asked, "Lord, you said that once I decided to follow you,
you'd walk with me all the way.
I don't understand why, when I needed you most,
you would leave me."

The Lord replied, "My precious child.
I love you and I would never leave you.

During your times of trial and suffering
when you saw only one set of footprints...

That was when I carried you."

I don't want to be melodramatic here....I mean....this all could really purely be coincidence. It might have happened without me asking for it....but it does make me stop and think that maybe....there....is a God....and maybe right now I really am being carried and I'll look back someday and realize it?

As an act of good will I've decided to give up my worst habit, which...is swearing. Lately I've been a really bad potty mouth...I don't know why....but out of respect I've decided to make a real effort.[/quote]