Today is Monday.

We slept in until 10am.

I think that says it all!

Last week marked the end of a year-long marathon of driving, driving, driving.

All weekend, the kids said "what are we going to do tomorrow? What are we going to do next week? It's SUMMER!"

My answer?

"Nothing."

We didn't sign Andrew up for the bi-weekly German review at his school this summer because I want to avoid the drive. We're going to do the German homeschooling thing again anyway, so I'll cover the bases that way. Soccer starts for the kids this week, but that is the only activity that I'm planning on taking them to. I'll plan our fun trips and excursions, but...first I need a break.

Andrew and Aidan have been finished with school for a little longer and the act of not having to drive them and do pick-ups last week was a huge relief to me. I even started sleeping better. Alex and Amanda celebrated the end of the year on Friday. Yay! We are all relieved to be finished with the homework, projects and seemingly endless hours in the van. With gas here right at $4.00/gallon some days, it will also be a relief to our over-stretched budget.

Sending Amanda to the private school this year was a real struggle for us financially. It was an unplanned expense that came on top of the floor repairs in the kitchen and the tile repair in our bathroom. We are planning on using the summer to reign it all in again. Hopefully, we can get caught up (or at least close to it!)

I was planning on taking a class, but even that might have to wait. I've made the official decision to go back to school in the Fall (if we don't end up being able to make it to Germany) or in the Spring (if the Germany trip ends up being a reality.) In the meantime, I'm going to be volunteering one afternoon/week at the hospital to get some more clarity/direction.

My life has changed a lot over the last few years and I feel much more at peace with who I am and my life in general. The experience of the last few years though also taught me that as much as I love my children....I also want to fulfill some of my own dreams. You only live once. Carpe diem. All that stuff.

I have dreamt about some type of career in medicine since I was in the 4th grade. I still have a copy of the poem that I wrote when I was 9 years old about becoming a doctor. My mom says that I told her that if I ever forgot that dream, that she was supposed to remind me of it. (She didn't. ). When I was in the 6th grade, I learned the electrical pathways in the heart because it interested me. I read all of my mom's nursing journals and was certain that I would pursue a path in the medical field.

They say that the best laid plans go oft astray...and in my case, that is true. There are a variety of reasons why my life took a different path. I don't regret any of the experiences that I have had. My life is fuller...richer for them.

As Robert Frost so eleoquently said:

TWO roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

As I approach the ripe old age of 38 and realize that my oldest child is 13...and my youngest is now 2...and will be in preschool in one short year, it feels like my life is coming full circle. It's true that way leads on to way, and that it isn't possible to go back and take the other path..and honestly, I wouldn't want to. I'm happy with my life and where I am today. But this path that I'm on has led me to new opportunities. There are now new roads for me to travel and once again, I find myself staring down several paths.

I've been using the last couple of months to review my chemistry and biology. I'm going to continue doing that this summer. I don't know if I'll actually end up sitting the MCAT (probably not, but you never know) or if I'll just take the things that I need to apply to PA school. In any case, there are options available to me and I have the support of my husband...which is also important. Of course, dh is leaning towards wanting me to go to PA school. His partner will be retiring and he wants me to be able to step in and work with him. It sounds appealing.

Who knows where this new road will lead me...but I feel really happy and at peace with the decision to find part-time childcare and take time for me now too.[/quote]