Nanny, that is.

I am tired of the chaos, of feeling depressed and overwhelmed, and of not being able to multi-task anymore. I've been exhausted, irritable and the house has been an absolute disaster.

So last week, I ordered the first season of Nanny 9-1-1. I decided to take the bull by the horns and ... I took notes...copious notes.

Don't laugh.

Last night, I finished up a few more and as I laid in bed, Stella's voice kept nagging at me "these kids have no discipline, there are no consequences, this place is a mess" tsk, tsk, tsk .... I felt ashamed...until I remembered one of the episodes where they talked about the fact that coming in to someone's home isn't about criticizing them and telling them what they are doing wrong. It's about telling them what they are doing right and helping them to be better.

I like that. A lot.

I got out of bed at 12.30am because I decided that I just couldn't wait to start the program that I had brewing in my head. I started in our finished basement.

I rarely go down there. It's really the man and kid area right now. Thomas watches his board review videos on the big TV and the kids play in the playroom...It actually *gulp* has probably been 2 months since I went downstairs there for more than a minute or two... Sure, I've picked up a thing or two, but generally speaking I've been so disgusted that I've turned and gone back upstairs to the main level...my domain...with my cupboards neatly organized and things as cleaned up as I can get them.

I started in the playroom. Though it isn't big, it took me over 2 hours to clean. The laminate floor was absolutely disgusting and sticky. It was a disaster. Stella would have bene shaking her head....Then I headed into the large "family room" or ... man cave and spent another hour.

The downstairs was sparkling when I went up to bed and fell asleep at nearly 4am.

When my alarm went off, I was filled with regret for my nighttime escapade....It was terribly difficult to get up!

Much to my delight, Andrew actually got up out of bed and got ready on time. I've been pushing the positive, positive, positive and I had success for at least today. I drove him and Aidan to school, which was a good hour in the van, and then went to the clinic to weigh in.

2.4 more pounds lost for a total of 9.4 pounds in 3 weeks. I know that I should be thrilled to be losing weight, but I am so heavy that I just can't feel joyful about losing the same pounds that I have lost so many times. It has been so hard to do it this time. I have really had to cut back on calories and exercise daily. It's a big change for me.

After my weigh-in, I headed out for my 3 mile walk with a neighbor...then it was already time to pick up Aidan from preschool.

We got home and the games began. Aidan had a friend over and I sat down on the sofa to just relax for a few minutes. Within 20 minutes Andrew called and politely asked me to please bring his saxophone. Because he got up and was so polite, I told him I would. He needed it within a half an hour which meant I had to jump in the car....off we went again.

On the way home, Aidan and Zoe fell asleep. I decided to drive around town for an hour because I knew they would wake up if I took them out of the van. Literally...I just drove around town listening to music until they woke up!

We got home...and...that's when the day started to take a downturn. I went downstairs and realized the boys had poured out all of the legos that I had sorted through. I kept it together and made Aidan clean it up. Stella would have been proud.

As I walked by Zoe's play kitchen though, I noticed a funny odor. I looked into the puzzle box sitting on her counter and to my horror discovered ... that it was full of urine.

Oh. Yah. Urine.

I flipped. The little boys (both age 5) had peed in it today. Holy crap. I was so shocked. I read Aidan the riot act and let him know play dates were over for the WEEK. Totally unacceptable.

Alex was grounded today and so when he walked through the door, I let him know that today he would be cleaning his room. I showed him the playroom and then let him know that I wanted his room to look like that. We both could smell....urine.

I looked in the toybox.

Oh yah.

I am usually mild-mannered. I get stuck being the disciplinarian and am not always very effective. I either say things too nicely or get angry and yell.

You should have seen the look on Aidan's face when he realized that I meant business. He was fighting me about getting in the van to go and pick up Andrew and he suddenly snapped into gear and walked to his car seat. We stopped to get a drink for Andrew because I was late picking him up and he had been sitting outside and we did not get Aidan anything.

He was devastated that I could be so mean.

But you could see on his face that it registered.

I told Andrew what happened and asked him if he could "mentor" his little brother and take him for a walk and talk to him about appropriate and not appropriate behavior.

Andrew was surprised that I would ask him, but agreed immediately. As the two boys walked out the door, I heard him say "Aidan, you don't pull your penis out and pee on things in front of friends. That is just not cool."

"I know, Andrew", Aidan answered.

OK. It isn't how I envisioned that conversation, but Aidan came back home walking and was just thrilled that Andrew took that special time for him. Andrew was calm and helpful for the rest of the night.

We went to TGIF and Zoe kept jumping up in her chair. I told her I'd take her to the front of the restaurant for time-out if she kept it up and I did....once...she didn't get up again.

I used to do that with Aidan...with all of my kids. Good grief...when did I forget how to parent.

I made it a point to tell Thomas how helpful Andrew had been and how relieved I was to have him to give me a hand with Aidan and we talked about Andrew's good math exam grade. He was beaming.

We are having eating battles with Amanda and she refused to eat her food. I let her know that was fine and that if she didn't work on eating appropriately and gaining weight that I will not send her back to the middle school. The girls are all pressuring each other and it is terrible. In the middle of the restaurant, she yelled at me "If you take me out of the middle school, I will kill myself."

I very calmly said "If you feel that way, I take it very seriously. I will call your pediatrician in the morning."

She...ate her meal.

I let the kids know that there was still work to do upstairs in the bedrooms and that I expected it to be done tonight.

Mr. Softy was sitting next to me the whole time. Sure, he gets irritated and yells from time-to-time, but he is the reason that neither Aidan nor Zoe sleep in their beds. He can't stand for them to cry.

Amanda was upset with me, so she drove home with Thomas and Alex. I arrived home shortly after them and Thoams had allowed them to go for a bike ride at 8:45pm.

So...I went all Kate Gosselin on him in the drive-way. Damn...where was TLC when I needed them! He went into the house and started to do what he does every night...throw laundry in the machines and start folding.

"This is not the help that I need from you. Thomas, can you please go upstairs with the boys and see that they finish cleaning their rooms like I ask. Then you can study and I will do the laundry. What I need from you right now is that you go upstairs."

He flipped. He isn't used to getting orders.

But he went.

As soon as I got Zoe bathed and in her pajamas, I went into the boys' room so that Thomas could start studying.

They did a phenomenal job all by themselves. Alex's drawers are incredibly neat and clean and they did all of the work themselves. I gave Aidan and Alex high-fives and told them to be proud of their hard work and when I left, Aidan was whooping "oh yah, I'm proud".

I got Andrew off of the computer and into his room without a battle.

I'm exhausted...absolutely bone-tired...and I'm in shock. They listened to me and knew I meant it....I don't know what was different about how I said things today, but man it felt good to not get angry, not yell, heap on the praise and get them to listen.

Now...I'm off to bed!