Summer has just blown by me this year. I can't believe that we are already in the countdown to school starting. Last week, I took the kids to Thunder Bay for our annual adventure. We released our rescue bird, Princess Oscar the day that we got back. Now, we are preparing for our family trip to end our summer in Wisconsin next week.

We have already lept past all of our summer milestones: Alex's violin camp, German camp for Amanda, Alex and Aidan, Amanda's Leadership camp, violin and cello lessons for Amanda ... It is amazing to me that summer is coming to a close. Next week is Wisconsin. After that, Alex has Fiddle Camp. After that, Andrew starts Cross Country and Alex begins Soccer. This is our unofficial, official start of school. The following week, we will be tossed into the early mornings and homework all over again.

Amanda will be homeschooled again next year. This Fall, she will be starting her second semester 9th grade classes. I'm hoping that we have finally ... finally found a good rhythm that we can keep going with. I did offer her the option of starting high school all over again at the boy's school, but she doesn't want this. She wants the chance to catch up with her peers. I have mixed feelings. She is doing so well emotionally. We just saw the pediatrician, where she had a completely normal BMI and our pediatrician commented that Amanda is so 'happy and relaxed'. Academically, I feel that her progress has been very slow. This is partly my fault. I'm a terrible perfectionist, and I won't let her turn in projects or take exams until she studies things the way that I feel that she should. The consequence of this is that we are working at a painfully ... painfully ... slow pace when it comes to working towards final exams. This doesn't really seem to bother her, and she is getting good grades. It just worries me that she will get too far behind and that I can't let go and allow her to move more quickly but maybe not excel in every regard. This is completely my problem, and I feel like I'm going to have to get a handle on it or else we might not be successful.

I've been considering homeschooling Aidan too, and I've looked into an entire curriculum from Germany. The fact that I'm on the fence over it at this late date tells me that I will probably end up not doing it. Maybe I'm finally ... after five years of recovering physically and emotionally from the drama of my pregnancy with Zoe ... at a point to return to our German homeschooling on weekends. That is a great compromise, I think.

I am at a great place emotionally. I feel very settled and happy right now as a sahm. I have come to terms with the late effects of the chemotherapy and radiation and have been able to find a balance of neurontin that I can live with. I feel like I am really the happiest that I have been in my entire life. My marriage feels like it is on a solid footing and Thomas and I seem to have transitioned from the early passionate stage of marriage to a comfortable, loving phase. We walk together every night, watch our movies in bed before going to sleep and talk and text throughout the day.

We are so 10 years out of training now. The pain of that process is far behind us and our lives have settled into the routine that I wanted so badly for us while we were in the thick of things. It has taken us a lot of time and work to get here, but things are really good for us now.