I've been poking around in the new software this morning. The blog features are very nice. I haven't blogged before but this is just too hard to resist. I've decided that I'm going to blog about my square peg status in my current location. It's a constant source of angst - and what's better than a angst-ridden blog, right?

As an academic prior to marriage, I was accustomed to moving around. It is stressful to pack up, leave your friends behind and stumble around for the first few months in your new location. The stress is balanced by the excitement of new discoveries. I enjoy meeting new people and discovering new things. I went to 5 different elementary schools as a kid because I grew up in an area with a rapidly shrinking population of kids. I made my peace with being the new kid. Eventually, you fit in. You just need to be patient and learn the local ways. It never occurred to me that in some places you will never fit in.

I've been in my current location for the last five years. I'm not going to adapt. I know that now. I'm just different from the locals in a fundamental way. I've realized that all my moves have been along the East Coast. Now, I'm in the Midwest. The regional differences extend beyond the callous renaming of my cherished "soda" to the cutesy "pop". There are different rules of behavior. Different social norms. Different value systems. Unfortunately, all these are hidden from the newcomer. There is no manual to tell me how to act - or when I've inadvertently offended. For months, I longed for some foreign accent so I could chalk up my differences to being "not from here" in a more exotic sense. My European friends seem to be given more social latitude. You here people say "Oh, she's from Ireland (or Italy or England)" with the clear implication that they should be forgiven for some minor social slight. Why didn't I think to invent some back story and craft an accent before the move? Poor planning, that.

I do believe that all our experiences in life help us grow. When we moved to Ohio from the Northeastern U.S., I was excited to raise my kids in an area of the country that was politically and economically diverse. I've found that accepting a diversity of opinion and ideas is almost MORE challenging that accepting a diversity in skin color. It has made me very uncomfortable - but it has challenged me to think carefully about my own values and ideas. I think that will be good for me and good for my family -- but I often long for the comfort of the liberal urban academic environments of my past. I miss my mental security blanket!