I'm a wreck and my horomones and my pessimistic nature are not helping. I'm just waiting for my doctor's appointment this afternoon to be a total let down, no progress, no nothing. I know, I know I'm only 38w2d but I'm done. I'm tired of the questions, I'm tired of the "ooh a Christmas baby" comments, I'm just tired. I've been sleeping decently and only waking up to pee 2-3 times/night so I don't think its a lack of sleep. DH left his pager at home again this morning and I just want to take his head off, what if something did happen? I'd have NO way of getting a hold of him.

Then I was reminded today that we'll be spending Christmas alone, just the two of us like Thanksgiving. I've always enjoyed seeing family and getting together with people at holidays and this year we don't get to see anyone on either of them. I know I should be happy DH is even home but I'm just not in that place right now. I always said I didn't want a Christmas baby and I know it super selfish of me to be upset about when she's due after everything we went through. I just want her to get here so we can move on with our life. Don't get me wrong, I want her to be a happy and healthy baby but I don't know how much more of this I can take.

What a crappy post! :banghead: