Desperate Fashionista Diary

[Vishenka69]

Re: Desperate Fashionista Diary

We're seeing 3 more houses on Tuesday. DH promised that if we don't like any of them, we'll make an offer on the house I like. It has come down almost $100,000 in the 5 months that we've been looking. I really think it's a great deal for a starter home. I'm not ready to start with a McMansion. And we're both totally sick of looking at houses every week.

Since I know absolutely nothing about home ownership, I'll be taking over the Around the House forum and promise to flip out there at least weekly and demand frequent handholding. You know how many of you dread having to shop for clothes, that's how I feel about buying a house.

We have also talked about going off BC around New Years. Hopefully I'll be too preoccupied with the house to freak out too much about this. I'm still very ambivalent about that but I finally realized that I just have to close my eyes and jump. Hopefully I won't sink.

[Vishenka69]

Re: Desperate Fashionista Diary

The house I wanted has sold. We've decided that if we don't like any of the 3 we're seeing on Tuesday, we'll lowball the runner up. The main problem with the runner up is that it was build in the 80s and has somewhat low ceilings. It bothers DH more than me (he's way closer to them than I am) but hey, if I'm suppose to be dusting them, may be it's not a bad thing.

There's nothing wrong with that house but it doesn't do anything for me, like the other one did. I'm actually hoping that we like something better on Tuesday. I was thinking about it all night (have problems sleeping lately) and trying to get excited about the house and what I would do to it and couldn't get any kind of emotional response. I was just so blah about it. I know this is not the last house I will live in but I was hoping for more. Whatever, I'm also tired of obsessing over it.

[Vishenka69]

Re: Desperate Fashionista Diary

On one hand we saw a house that we both like, on the other hand DH called his mother 4 times already and the day is not over. He spent more time talking to her than he did to me. I feel like he has nothing to say to me and that every time anything happens, he calls her to report on it. I'm ready to scream and bit his head off.

On a more positive note, we saw a great house today. It was build in 2000 using a lot of old reclaimed materials to make it look like an old barn. It looks really great and sits on 10.5 acres in a good neighborhood, 10 minutes from the interstate. My only concerns are that it has a septic tank and well water (but anything on more than an acre in our area will have that) and that it's only 3 bedrooms. But, with so much land, we can always build a guesthouse later on. Oh, and we'll have exchange our tin mobile for an SUV before winter because there's a very long gravel driveway.

[Vishenka69]

Re: Desperate Fashionista Diary

I'm so pissed off at MIL right now, I'm ready to scream. I might be very subjective but I strongly feel that she's just pulling "He'll never be completely yours" crap again. As if this is the retaliation for DH telling her a few months ago that now he has his own family. She has once again orchestrated a crisis that is driving DH insane and making him drop everything and rush to her aid. After all she's frail and doesn't know what the hell she's doing and I have proven that I can survive anything on my own. I'm really ready to choke her at this point and just take FIL to live with us. It'd be so much easier on everyone that way.

And the worse part is that we're seriously talking about going off BC and starting to try. Well, how am I suppose to do that when I know that they will come first no matter what and that he can potentially have to go to Brooklyn at a drop of a hat. After all, he's the one who wants kids more and I was willing to do it for him. I've been very clear that I'm not about to become a single parent and deal with a kid that he wanted all on my own. It's just not fair. I've also been clear to MIL that while she's pulling this crap, I'm not jumping on the kid bandwagon. I don't know what she's counting on. That I refuse to have kids and he comes back to her. I might be overreacting right now, but I'm just so pissed, my head is about to explode.

[Vishenka69]

Re: Desperate Fashionista Diary

I totally freaked out on DH on Monday but then we had a talk and I realized that I overreacted and that he's really trying. I think the house thing was driving me insane. But we're all good, at least for now.

Yesterday we went to a really yummy restaurant in our town. One of DH's coworkers recommended we get the tasting menu with wine pairings. So DH talked me into the 7 course menu (with 7 glasses of wine). The food was absolutely amazing, some courses even orgasmic. I thought 5 of the wines were perfect, would have changed 2 though. I can't believe I got talked into 7 course again though. Every time we do a tasting menu, we want to die on like course 4 and swear never to do it again. But then a year goes by and we're at another amazing restaurant and we just can't stop ourselves. Long story short, I had to call it a day on course 6, which I took home and DH had 98% of my dessert. I actually had to undo my pants and hold them on the way to the car. Luckily we were the last ones to leave and I had a big shawl to cover up.

Also wanted to mention that I'm taking a 2 week leave. Still love you guys but too cheap to pay for international plan for DH's iPhone. Plus, I plan to be buzzed for the entire 2 weeks.

[Vishenka69]

Re: Desperate Fashionista Diary

So the house officially didn't happy but the vacation was great. I'll post a more detailed update once I get some sleep.

[Vishenka69]

Re: Desperate Fashionista Diary

Vacation recap. We did an 11 night cruise on with a European line - Costa, then stayed in Milan for 3 extra nights. Main reason for taking this particular cruise was the ports of call - Barcelona, Casablanca, Agadir, Malaga, Tenerife, Lanzarote, Madeira (not sure if I got them in sequential order). The ship was nice but definitely not as grand as most American ships are, although I knew that it was an older one. Food was good but I expected more from an Italian line, although I guess none of the cooks were European and it's hard to do large scale amazingly.

I was really looking forward to Morocco but it turned out to be a big disappointment. Our excursion to Fez was canceled (not enough English speakers) and Casablanca was pretty ugly and boring. Agadir seemed very nice but paled in comparison to Canaries. Tenerife and Lanzarote were absolutely amazing. We can't wait to be back. Although we've never been to Hawaii, the islands seemed like a European version. Madeira and Malaga were charming as well but a day in each was more than enough. We also realized that on our next visits to Europe we definitely have to rent a car and drive through the countries. Our previous visits were largely limited to major cities and we feel that we've missed out on tons of great stuff.

Back in Italy, weather was great on the day we arrived but it snowed the next day. We were totally unprepared for that. Being stuck all day in a small hotel room with only one English channel that's covering the situation in Mumbai was not fun. We did venture out later at night after it warmed up, the snow melted for the most part and was only raining. The following day, weather cooperated and we went to Verona. Of course we totally missed all the Shakespeare attractions (Romeo's and Juliett's houses, her tomb, etc.), but found the city absolutely adorable.

Ironically, the restaurant we picked for dinner in Milan seemed to be very popular with Russian tourists. Not many Russians speak decent English and all the ones in that particular restaurant had problems with the English menu (it was either that or Italian). At first we felt bad but seeing how arrogant they were, we decided to observe and have fun instead. Given the current stance of Russia toward US, we thought it was very funny that abroad Russians are too often grouped with Americans and forced to communicate in English.

One of the good consequences of EU - a lot more directions and instructions are in English. We had no problems at all in any of the countries. Although, the one place it's good not to have anything in English is restaurants. Lack of English menu usually meant good food and lower prices. And as usually food and drink were our biggest expenses.

[Vishenka69]

Re: Desperate Fashionista Diary

I know this has been covered here like a gazillion times but why can't our families get that the medical lifestyle is so different from others. BIL has been engaged for a while, right after congratulating him and for the past 6 months or so DH has been telling him that we need to know the date of the wedding ASAP to make sure he requests to be off that day. We come back from vacation and MIL says, "Oh, btw your brother booked a hall for June 7th, it's a Sunday and we're also having a family dinner on Monday, so you need to be here for both." The summer vacation schedule has been done since September, there's absolutely no way he can get a day off, he put in a request to be on call that day (meaning he'll start at 3pm) but we're not even sure if he'll get that. There's still a very good chance that we'll be driving 2 hours home after the wedding. Meanwhile, both MIL and BIL have been bugging DH as to why he can't take Monday, after all he only has one brother who's only planning on getting married once. The wedding is not on Monday, why do we have to be there for the post-wedding dinner?

I knew that as soon as I sign up for Kaplan, we'll get into the house mess. I've barely had time to go to lectures and in the past two weeks studied for may be 3 hours total. GRE's are not happening until at least March. And we decided to postpone coming off the patch until then as well. There's just way too much going on right now and my hormones are barely surviving as is.

On the up side, my yoga instructor said today and she thinks I'm ready for the next level and should give it a try. There's a mixed two level class on Monday, so I'll give it a try and hopefully won't fall too hard. I've started going first thing in the morning (which for me means 10am class) and depending on when we get to balance poses, I'm not always fully awake yet. The mixed class is even earlier at 9:30, so I might be even more wobblier and poses will be more challenging.

[Vishenka69]

Re: Desperate Fashionista Diary

So studying isn't going that well. I've missed 2 classes already and it looks like I'll be missing another one this Thursday. In my defense the weather has been horrid today (snow and ice) and last Thursday (downpour). Driving in pitch dark in bad weather conditions isn't my favorite past time. I've been going through the chapters at home though and somewhat online but I need to be MUCH better about it. Studying has never been my forte though. I'm horrible at sitting on my ass for long periods of time, while trying to grasp some elusive concept that I know I'll only need for 10 minutes on the exam and will never see again.

I'm great at finding shortcuts and cutting corners though. I've realized that half of my wrong answers are due to skimming the question and missing what exactly is being asked. So instead of figuring out complicated concepts, I've been concentrating on reading the questions carefully. I figured that if I miss one or two questions testing something I didn't bother learning, it won't affect me as badly as misreading half the questions. If I remember some high school math and learn a new dozen or so words, I should do decently enough without putting in too much effort. This approach should explain why neither med school nor law school were ever an option for me.

I'm a lot more excited at successfully feeding DH tofu for dinner. He actually liked it and said he'll have it again, as long as I alternate it with meat nights. Now I just need to figure out where to get it locally, as the one I have has been imported from TJ in NJ.

[Vishenka69]

Re: Desperate Fashionista Diary

We're closing on Tuesday. Both DH and I are all nerves. To distract ourselves, we've spent the last two days driving around various kitchen/bathroom showrooms and furniture stores. So far, I've realized that it's futile to resist granite. Everything else is either double in price or pales in comparison. We went to a showroom today that had the prettiest granite I've ever seen. I just hope it's also not the most expensive. We also realized, although DH said he was surprised, that the carpeting I like is almost twice the price of the hardwood. I didn't want to buy anything until we close. I'm not very superstitious but didn't want to jinx anything. Just gathering ideas and pricing some stuff out. Mainly trying to keep busy, so as not to think about everything that can go wrong between now and noon on Tuesday.

[Vishenka69]

Re: Desperate Fashionista Diary

Some details about the housebuying process. First of all, I'm still nauseated and lightheaded and will need a drink or two before going to sleep tonight.

The whole process has been one huge pain in the ass, largely due to incompetence of the sellers' realtor and the fact that they had a nasty divorce. She was making stuff up and telling us one thing, and them another. We had no idea what was really going on and she made everything a lot more stressful. Plus everything had to be agreed on, approved and signed by two people who are no longer talking. And we were closing in 3 weeks during the holiday season. This definitely took years off my life.

There weren't any last minutes huge surprises, the house was pretty clean and whatever they promised to keep (all light fixtures), was still there. They weren't crazy about the last minute repairs but since they were structural and according to their realtor they agreed to them, we weren't going to volunteer to pay for them. They did feel ripped off at the end (the market tanked in the past year and half) but that wasn't our fault. The appraisal was lower than their asking price, so there's no way they could have gotten it. I hope they didn't go back after the settlement to trash the place before we get a chance to change the locks. There is still LOTS of thing to and we won't be moving for at least a month or so.

Now, I'm firmly parking myself in the Around The House section and annoying everyone with my obvious and stupid questions.

A huge thanks to everyone who has contributed to my "closing advice" thread. I was truly expecting the worst and feel much better about our actual experience.

[Vishenka69]

Re: Desperate Fashionista Diary

The good part is that once we closed, my neck stopped bothering me and I've been breathing much easier. The bad part is now I think about renovations instead of sleeping. I don't know how anyone does it while working full time. I'm exhausted and I don't have a job or any kids. Wow, you guys are amazing.

There are so many decisions to make. I spent over an hour at the granite place today and now I'm beginning to doubt my choices. I need to take the samples to the house tomorrow to see if I still like them. I can't decide between a very large single sink or medium size double sinks. I have no idea what kind of faucet I want. Although in retrospect they shouldn't be hard to change if I change my mind later. Granted they'll fit into the already drilled holes.

I've started a renovation spreadsheet to track my spending. We don't have a concrete budget but don't want to over do it. We obviously don't have millions to spend on this and it wouldn't make any sense to do that. I just want to reward both of us for waiting this long and go for quality products. Mostly I'm just overwhelmed with all the choices. The more research I do, the more my choices seem to multiply.

I took some "before" pictures today, need to do some more of the outside and then I'll post them.

I still have so many questions but feel that I'm already monopolizing the Around the House forums. May be I'll try combining them.

[Vishenka69]

Re: Desperate Fashionista Diary

Many of you will enjoy this post. I can't believe I'm admitting to this. Yesterday I had to run and meet contractors right after yoga and didn't get a chance to change. I was at the house meeting with 4 people and then DH insisted on going to lunch right away and I had to spend the whole day in yoga clothes with pig tails and no make up. Now one of the guys I met with isn't calling me back. I wonder if he thought I was posing as the owner and was actually a neighbor's kid.

Last weekend we went to the outlets and ended up buying Columbia jackets and DH got a pair of Timberland boots. I feel so local now.

[Vishenka69]

Re: Desperate Fashionista Diary

I'll post some "before" pics of the house as soon as I upload them from the camera. I'll be needing advice on stuff.

I'm having the hardest time trying to pick the shade of hardware for the master bedroom. Chrome, brushed nickel, bronze, etc. I don't know what I like. Bronze seems nice but it's a small room and I don't want to go too dark color-wise. Brushed metal seems easier to clean but shiny one is prettier to look at. If I'm having a glass shower door, should I just start with the shower (DH wants the one with body sprays) and go off that color? I wouldn't want it to completely clash with everything else.

On the upside I found some reasonable choices for the kitchen sink and faucet and shower doors. I'm also very torn between doing the house as best for our current lifestyle, vs trying to accomodate any future children we may hypothetically have vs making our guests comfortable. I love entertaining and we're expecting to be pretty much running a B&B in the warm months. I originally wanted to have 3 guest areas, but DH is screaming that I'll make them too comfortable and they won't want to leave. He insists that we make the house as comfortable for us as possible. If I completely forget about guests, then if/when we have at least 1 kid, the only place for anyone to stay would be a blow up mattress in the TV room. As much as I would love a huge closet (carved out one of the rooms), I don't know how I feel about that. On the other hand, if DH's compensation doesn't decrease over the next 5 or so years, we should be able to afford building another 2 car garage with a guest suite over it. I think I'll stick to my current plan. I can always knock a wall out later.

Got a call from my grandma today. "So, have you seen a doctor yet. What did he say the problem is?" I had no idea what she's talking about, as I haven't seen anyone for any problems and not aware of having any. Turns out she assumed that since I'm not pregnant, I have problems. Had to tell her that I'm still on the patch. Then she started lecturing how being on it for so long (it really hasn't been long at all), will cause huge problems and I have to take it off right away. Then she told me she's getting old and is tired of waiting for great-grandchildren. Yeah, that's a great reason for me to drop everything and rip the patch off. Relatives are so annoying.

Our house was build to look like a renovated old barn. There are lots of old wood beams running through it. EVERY SINGLE family member from both sides have commented on how ugly they are and asked if we're keeping them. No, we bought the house with all those beams, so we can carve them out first thing the next day. I just told them that if they don't like the beams, they never have to see them again. They got pissed but at least shut up. Whatever happened to "if you've got nothing good to say, don't say anything at all." I can't believe we were raised by these people.

[Vishenka69]

Re: Desperate Fashionista Diary

I'm taking off my last patch tomorrow.