Life in Transition

I have decided that since we are entering a new phase of our lives/career that I should start journaling here. I do have a blog, but I find that no one wants to hear me complain about how tough this life really is, so I'll come here to complain! I have had this issue before but the further along dh goes in his training the worse it gets. People don't want to hear the wife of a doctor (in training) complain about how hard it is.

I am going to be honest, I used to be one of those people. I never grew up around medicine and when my husband first decided (when he was 4!) that he wanted to be a doctor I was supportive and excited. The wife of a doctor... how exciting! And here is where the trouble began...

Yes, we will have a good life, I will not have to work, but not for a while. It is well respected, this is true, but the training... we get to buy our first home together. But at 27 this will be the first year that we have two incomes. And let me tell you- it ain't much! We have to put off starting a family until he can apply to moonlight because I don't know how else we would do it. This is hard for me, I know, I'm young, but I have been ready for the last year and when everyone around you has children and you're constantly being asked when you're next, and what a great mom you'll be, it's hard. And now that we're both "ready", financially we are not, which is very frustrating. What do you do? How do you deal with this? I get angry, angry at people who tell me how lucky I am because my husband will be a doctor. Then I tell them how much debt we have, how long it takes and how much he is making the next 4 years, hardly a posh lifestyle.

But yes, I am lucky, we have a wonderful life and are lucky to have this career and guaranteed income in years to come. But it is hard and if I hear delayed gratification one more time...ahhhhhh! I am glad to have med school done with, I am ready to settle down, have a home and start a family. Something that everyone else has been doing for the last couple years, I believe they call that delayed gratification!

We have known for a week where we are going for residency and I can not believe the wonderful people who have been so helpful already! Thanks to Cheri and her referrals! This is hard process but I already feel so welcomed into the community and can't wait to get there and settle in. I am grateful for staying close to home and at our first choice!

So here begins a new chapter... residency! Here goes nothing!

Re: Life in Transition

Sold! Well we are now first time home owners! We had quite a day of looking and by seeing 14 homes you really know what you can and can not afford in the area. We found our favorite house, put an offer in the next day and SOLD! It is scary and you're constantly thinking, should we of offered less? You always second guess, especially when you're new to it!

I am very excited to decorate and to move in! It won't be for a couple months yet, thank goodness, because it will give me some time to get a job! It's all very crazy and happening fast but I'm very excited to say that we own a home! A HOME! Not a house but a HOME! I have a fireplace to curl up next to and a deck to sit on.

Since we have been caretaking our apartment for the past 3 years, this feels so good! To clean your own place instead of someone elses! I can't tell you how excited I am!!

Thank you everyone here for your support! It is amazing and helps to know that what I'm feeling at times is normal!!

Yay!

Re: Life in Transition

Jobs.
So right now I love my job, it's a great hospital and I absolutely love the people I work with. But now we're moving, and yes, it's not far but I'm also not willing to drive an hour and a half to work everyday, especially what gas prices are, and in the winter it could get a little shady. So I have been applying for jobs since we got our match letter, which has only been a few weeks but seems like a lifetime. In that time we bought a house and I have been offered a job. It is not ideal, the money is less and it's not exactly what I would like to do. But it is a job and that is what we need. It's difficult to take the first job I was offered but I haven't heard anything from any other job. Not a peep. I don't want to not take this job and then come June have to commute to my old job. I am confident that it will be a good fit for the near future and that I can be happy there. But I do know that finding a part time job at this point might not be a bad idea considering the drop in my income and a new mortgage! So I am going to try and find something fun, something I would like to do that would help suppliment some money.

Sometimes a girl needs a little encouragement to feel like she's not making the wrong choice. But this is a tough position to be in and hard to take a job that pays less when I have worked my way up to a pretty well paying job.

Oh well, whatta ya do? I guess you take the job, work and suck it up!

Thank you for the vent!

Re: Life in Transition

It is Monday, and quiet in the office, and my co-worker is gone on vacation and if we wouldn't of cancelled we would be leaving for Hawaii tomorrow. It is starting to get nice out so that helps, but still sad about the trip.

We decided to cancel because of the cost of buying a house, new furniture, and getting used to a mortgage. I am happy that we decided to cancel because I feel a lot less stressed about it, but still sad at what could of been!

I had a phone interview with another job offer, it is a very cool job but they needed someone to start by the end of this month, and I wouldn't have anywhere to live for a month, not to mention leaving my job here in the lurch, when my last day is supposed to be May 23rd. They money just wasn't worth is so I told them to keep me in mind if something happens and they can wait until the end of May. To be honest, I'm a little relieved. It is not much more money for a job with a lot more responsibilities and a lot of weekend/evening hours. Plus now I can get a part time job at a yoga studio since I have a set schedule with my job. I have contaced two studios and they both are interested in talking with me and expanding their studio, so that is fun! I want to get certified as an instructor to do when we have kids and I'm not working full time. We'll see!

All in all, I'm doing well, I am in that transition stage where I can't really start packing too much because we still have to live here for another month, but I'm ready so start! I have become addicted to HGTV, and thinking about decorating and everything. For someone who lived in an apartment and did caretaking to have a beautiful house, that is all finished is so exciting! Sometimes I don't believe it and forget that it is going to be our home! Where we start a family and put up Christmas tree's and bake cookies and throw parties and showers and entertain! We love having people over but never had the room.

Last Friday we had people over to watch the Wild (NHL) in the playoffs and we had to change the whole livingroom around just to get the 8 people to fit and see the tv!

I can't wait! Is it May 30th yet?

Re: Life in Transition

Well it is only Tuesday and within the last three days I have had news that 3 people I know have passed away. On Sunday my family and I attended the funeral of my aunt's sister.( My dad's brother's wife, her sister) She passes away of ovarian cancer at 58. She was diagonosed in September and it was quite a battle. She stayed with my aunt and uncle while on hospice because she is not married and never had children. It was very tough on everyone and it was a fast and painful way to go. It was a tough funeral, she had many nieces and nephews that worshiped her. There were a lot of tears.

Then on Monday at work we found out that one of our volunteers passed away over the weekend. He was an amazing man who was only 63. He was not sick and it was very unexpected. It is hard on other staff and volunteers who worked with him here.

Then today I received an email that a friend from high school, her fiance was in a car accident over the weekend and passed away. They were supposed to get married in August. I feel terrible for her, what a tragedy.

I wrote on my blog today, more vented about all of this. I just don't understand, all of these people died before they should of, why does this happen? I don't get it.

I don't like bringing up religion because I know people have so many different beliefs but this is the issue I struggle with. I never understand why people say "this was god's plan" or "now they're with god" or "god needed them more than we did"
I call bull.

I get it, what else do you say, but I would say that it sucks, it's horrible, it's sad, you feel shitty and that's okay.
I am sad for the families left behind and how unfair it is to them. Why? I know there's not an answer, but I know that these situations make me hug my friends and family tighter and tell them how I feel.

It makes me realize that sometimes complaining about my life is stupid. That yes, things are tough, but really? This is what you're complaining about? Suck it up! Yes, I know I can't be too hard on myself but perspective can do wonders.

So- hug whoever you gotta hug- and to it a little longer than you normally would!

Life is precious, I think we all know that, but sometimes we need a little reminder!

Re: Life in Transition

Well it is almost May and on Friday dh is graduating. It is strange because only a couple weeks after match we had a house and I had a job! It all happened so fast that the last few weeks have been spent just kinda waiting. This weekend will be nice because there will be celebrating and having fun with friends and family. There are quite a few people coming to graduation dh's mom, uncle, my parents, a good friend and then two other friends' parents who were his other parents growing up. It should be fun!

Then on Sunday we are having a little open house at my parent's house for people to drop by. He really didn't want to do it but I thought it was important.

I told him that I wanted to do a board with some pictures and he said that he wants it to be of us. I told him that I didn't graduate and he said, " well pretty much you did, we did this together." I didn't know what to say because I wasn't expecting that. IT WAS NICE TO HEAR! I think because it was spur of the moment and he wanted it to be more about us than him. It is times like those that I remember why I married him!

We have a picture from high school graduation, college graduation and then after friday we will have med school graduation. I bought a frame with three pictures so we can put that up as well, I am excited about that!

I know that we've just done one step and we have a lot more to go, but it's really nice to know that he feels like this is a team thing. I know he says it to people, I have overheard it but it's nice to get it from the source!

On a different note. We will be done caretaking when we move, even though we were told it was going to be now. There is an apartment that needs to be turned over in the next couple days, and she knows everything that is going on and wants us to do it. She has other people to do it but we always do the best job. I think that's just because we're not totally lazy! It's hard when there are things going on and people just don't get it. We've been doing this for 3 years, dh has been doing it for 5- give us a break! Ahhhhh! I am so ready to just have my own house to clean! I can't say that enough! I am ready to move on!

We decided to take a little trip for a couple days before we move just to get away the two of us before we move and he starts working. I am looking forward to that a lot!

That is all for now- and I think spring might be here?!?!?!?! It is 60 today!!

Re: Life in Transition

It is official, my husband is a doctor... it is scary! Graduation was very nice except the pouring rain/sleet/snow that was happening outside. It really didn't effect us except that there wasn't really a good place to take pictures after the ceremony so the few we have are very close up! (With no room to back up!)

I was very proud and surprised myself because I didn't even cry! My mom bawled like a baby, but that's par for the course! We had a nice dinner at a local steak place that was associated with our high school. Pictures of Joe Mauer and Matt Birk on the walls...standard! When my mom told the waitress what we were celebrating the owner brough over a bottle of champagne... then a cake and pieces for everyone... then a hat with the name of the restaurant, he told dh it was for him to wear while playing golf! It was really sweet and I'm glad we went there!

We had an open house/party on Sunday, which was nice because it was perfect outside! A lot of people came and many were very generous! Dh's friends (non-med school) gave us a really nice grill, with all the utencils, a cover, a roaster thing and some BBQ sauce, it was really sweet! They were very proud of it!

It's funny because my dh really didn't hang out with med school people much outside of classes and rotations. I'm not sure why, they were a great group but very different from his good friends from college and high school.

All in all it was a very nice weekend and we're both glad to have it behind us... now we can start packing to move into our first home!!!

Re: Life in Transition

The topic of this is entry NERVES!!
Friday is my last day of work. It is bitter sweet, you know how some days you're ready for a new job and a new challenge and other days you just want to be in your job that you know and are comfortable with? Yeah, that's me in a nutshell right now. My co-workers had a party for me and it was awesome. All of the staff and volunteers signed in a book for me where they wrote messages and their contact info. It is sad but amazing to know how many people I have been able to get to know in just two years. I am blown away, which makes me not want to leave.

On the other hand I miss working one on one with people, mostly with kids and families. So I am ready to get back into that and to start making some different kind of contacts and relationships. But of course, I don't know anyone and haven't worked with this population in a couple years.

I am excited about having a home. I mean, I'm so excited about it it's not even funny. Although we bought it so long ago it doesn't really feel real at this point. We close on our house on the 30th and move on the 31st and I start my new job on the 2nd. It's all happening very fast!

I know maybe 2 or 3 people in Rochester and no one very well. It will be an adventure for sure but a little stressful. I am going to have to mapquest absolutely EVERYTHING! So I hope we can get our internet hooked up right away!

Okay, just getting it out feels better! Thanks for listening!

Re: Life in Transition

It's been FOREVER since I've been on here! There is so much to catch up on I don't even know where to start! How about here...
we moved to Rochester and our new house June 1st.
I started a new job that I absolutely hated
Quit my job after a week and a half and had a nanny job set up for the next week
Started my nanny job... called Cheri desperately looking for an OB...because...
I FOUND OUT I WAS PREGNANT!

So THEN, I had to tell the family I was nannying for because I gave them a year committment, which I clearly wasn't going to be able to fulfill any longer. They were cool about it but decided they needed to look for another nanny. Which I totally understood. So I stayed with them for about 6 weeks and then trained in the new nanny. I finished up with the nanny job without finding a new job.

I had a week "off" before I did finally find a job at a cute little store downtown. There is a gift store and a high end baby clothing store.

THE PREGNANCY:
When we find out I was pretty freaked out but DH was awesome and calmed me down. I had a pretty good first trimester, not too sick at all. I was very nervous and didn't want to tell a lot of people because it was early.
After a couple doctor's appointments and the ok that everything was going well I felt better and made it public knowledge.
As of now I am 16 weeks and in a couple weeks we have our big ultrasound and find out what we're having! I don't think I could wait and be surprised. So I am excited for Sept. 16!!

So that has been what's going on with me. Since I don't sit at a desk for my job anymore it is a lot more difficult to get on here, but I have decided to make a bigger effort!

My next mission is to figure out what I can do at home after the baby is born, since I don't make enough to pay for daycare. We'll see!

I hope everyone is doing well. Also- can I say how ironic it is that Cheri and I live like two blocks from each other! She found me my OB who I love and it has been nice having someone to take walks with. (Cheri- when my hours don't get so late we have to start walking more. Its been hard when I work until 8pm!!)