Here we go again...

[DCJenn]

3/7/06

Today is my dad's birthday (64) and we celebrated on Saturday- complete with the Beatles, "When I'm 64" playing on the stereo. I'm really going to miss being able to see them at the drop of a hat but I'm also really excited about moving. Luckily my self-diagnosed ADHD works well with the miltary lifestyle- there's always something to do, change, buy, sell...

The house we really, really like in San Antonio has dropped in price once again, and the realtor reports that they're getting desperate. I hope it stays on the market until we get there in three weeks but I'm actually semi-contemplating doing a contract contigent on visual inspection. (like, unless it really sucks in person, we'd love to buy your house)

and we have an Open House scheduled for here on Sunday (Come on by all you DC/Balto people who are considering moving to the city! It's not often you can find close to 2000sf for under 500k!)

I have an appointment with the Finanacial Planner today to figure out what to do with this cash we have doing nothing in the checking account. It's so nice to not be stressed about bills.

I'm feeling confident that this place will sell relatively quickly- there are several homes for sale in the neighborhood but ours is the only end unit, the only one furnished, and the only one painted in decent colors. (one had a tiny kitchen that they had installed black appliances, dark maroon granite and painted the cabinets a dark cherry. It was like returning to the womb.) Plus we have a yard, which very few of the others do.

Of course, the egotist in me is most excited because we went shopping on Saturday and I finally am back in size eight pants. Man, it's been a long haul. It's definitely a downside of weekly business travel- eating out three meals a day for at least 3 days takes it's toll. I was nearly into size 12 pants when I stopped working. Bad. I'm feeling good about my appearance for the first time in a long, long time. That helps the mood a great deal as well.

I also registered us to go to the Russian Embassy Easter party that they hold every year to benefit orphanages in Russia. We are to bring new shoes so I'm going to go do some shoe shopping later this month. The Ambassador and his wife are hosting it and it's "Sunday Best" attire. I bought Nikolai the cutest outfit, EVER. I really love living in DC, where our opportunities to do stuff are so interesting and different.

So, today is a good day. I'm hopeful that everything will progress smoothly. I'd say that on a scale from 1-10, with 10 being looney bin level stressed, I'm at about a 4 today.

[DCJenn]

3/20/06

Today would have been my grandfather's 94th birthday. He was a very funny man and even after 20 years we still miss his presence. On an up note though, my parents settled my grandmother into a very nice assisted living facility in Pittsburgh. She's so fiercely independent that it took her breaking her ankle in three places to understand that it's OK to get help sometimes.

She LOVES it- which is great but also sad; she could have been in a place like this 15 years ago. She has people to talk to, and they come in and visit and she gets her hair done, etc. My aunt described the decor as "Ethan Allen threw up all over it." The apartment where she and my grandfather lived has really fallen on hard times and was essentially a dump. She had nice things but the lobby was furnished in 1965 and literally nothing had changed. It's a relief to know that she has the care she needs and that she's safe. And most importantly, she has social interaction and she's not sitting around thinking about how bored and lonely she is.

Which brings me to the next point, how bored and lonely I am. I cannot fathom doing this SAH thing until Nikolai is school aged. OMG, I will turn into a shrew, more than I already have. You know, it's great that there are people who discover upon having a child that staying at home is the best thing they've ever done. Personally, I think this is one of my less successful job endeavors. I mean, he's fed, clothed, napped, changed and is apparently learning stuff. BUT, my mind is shrinking by the moment. I have become a whole lot less interesting. I'm cranky and bored all the time. We have our routines and play groups and we take 5 mile walks every day- but holy shit, I'm bored.

and of course it doesn't help when Rick totally doesn't get it. His solution to boredom, "so go do something." OK, I'm doing things- I'm doing lots of things. I'm doing them with 2 year olds. or dogs and 2 year olds. I cannot impart to him that he may be working hard but 1) he gets to leave the house 2) have adult conversation 3) his routine changes every day and every day he learns or does something completely new 4) he gets the satisfaction of earning an income and 5) turning on Sesame Street is not interacting with the child.

and while on THAT subject, when he does 'watch' Nikolai, it means he turns on HBO and watches some stupid movie while Nikolai plays. I'm not sure that "White Noise" is toddler appropriate. and what really steams me is that he never, ever takes him anywhere. If he has to run an errand, is it too much to ask that he take Nikolai with him. Oh, that's too complicated. No Shit? Really? His sole outdoor activity with Nikolai is putting him in the jogging stroller and running. WITH HIS F-ING IPOD IN. Which also just pisses me off. I won't let Nikolai take any munchies on the road with Rick if I can help it because there's no way that he'll even know if the child were choking. He claims that he talks to him the whole time. I'm 100% sure that's not true.

If this were a patient? He'd be all over the parents about child safety, watching TV, etc. Too bad he can't practice what he preaches.

I'm oh so very annoyed. I almost wish that in my upcoming trip to go house hunting that I had a day completely by myself. but I don't and since he has abdicated responsibility for anything other than going to work and studying for the boards, I'm the one who has been managing all of the mortgage and house buying/selling crap. So, since he has no realistic concept of what we can afford, I need to go so that he doesn't put an offer on a 3/4 milllion dollar house that he likes. He really doesn't understand why we wouldn't qualify....

I obviously need to discuss these issues with my husband and not with cyberspace but since he was raised by the world's most passive-aggressive person, he's a pain in the ass to argue with. He literally discounts everything and tries to make me feel guilty for upsetting him. Seriously. It's almost funny in a very pathetic way. Or he yells and walks off (avoidance). Of course I just get so mad that I am inacapable of speech. Actually, I get so mad that I'm incapable of movement because I know that there is no positive outcome to any movement I would make. So, I have to ensure that I'm entirely in the right frame of mind to deal with this so that I don't completely retreat. That normally requires yoga or a run prior to the main event.

I need to go back to work.

[DCJenn]

We had a tiny bit of good news today-

Our friends have a ton of family descending on Saturday so we're going to get a hotel room on the Riverwalk- and since my best friend in the whole wide world works for "Large Hotel Chain Not Owned by Socialites" and one of her very good friends (and buy default one of a dear set of acquaintances) who is a General Manager at said hotel chain...is going to call and see about an upgrade.

LOVE her!

I've actually never taken advantage of this perk until last year (my dad has though) so it's wierd. When I went to Moscow with Nikolai she had managed the entire thing and we ended up in the nicest hotel room I have ever been in- EVER. It was bigger than my apartment in DC. We had a fruit tray and a bottle of wine show up, we had room service and caviar- unbelievable. and you should have seen how the mafiosi who run the hotel fell all over themselves when we checked in.

So...we get at least 24 hours together alone. We haven't had that since the Tourist Hotel in Perm, Russia on April 15, 2005. It was also the day that we went to court for Nikolai. Man, what a bizarre day. On the Thursday before, Dina and Artur (our driver) took us to the orphanage to see Nikolai one last time. We knew Rick wouldn't see him again until we got back to the US and we had no idea how long that would be. She (Dina, our facilitator/translator) prepped us for all of the questions we'd likely be asked. There were two judges, the mean one and the grouchy one. We got the mean one. Our homework was to go home and write out our answers to the questions so that we could preemptively answer them. We saw "the boy" or "Kalomakov" (how they referred to him- Kalomakov being his birth last name) and then Artur drove us back. We went to the 'shopping center' (a bizarre collection of small stalls run by individuals in a huge four story cement building) to find paper. We came back went to the restaurant and wrote out our answers. Dina had also told us what questions she was likely to be asked and asked that I write the answers in very big letters and numbers so that she could more quickly translate.

So, we got dressed in our suits on Friday, April 15, 2005 and clutching our papers we went down to the lobby. Dina and Artur met us and we went straight to the courthouse. We passed gorgeous old falling down houses and finally entered a soviet era building. Every (EVERY) building and store has a security guard- probably from the everyone must have a job Soviet era as well. We went through the security area and then to the waiting room. Finally we were called. The court room was tiny by american standards (no! a shocker, I'm sure).

Dina was dead on in what was asked. Rick spoke for the family in the finances, the reasons why we wanted to adopt from Russia, etc. and I was to speak for the emotional and family aspects. (if they knew us they'd have known that was totally backwards). I thought I was fine until I stood to speak my part and all of a sudden my leg started shaking uncontrollably. My voice broke, I started sniffling, (and thinking- Oh boy, what am I gonna do with the snot that's about to run down my face)

So we did our thing, Dina did her thing, the Social Worker did her thing (Nina, an awesome woman from the small town where Nikolai was born) and the prosecutor asked some perfunctory questions and then- we waited- for close to an hour. They probably drank some coffee, went to the bathroom and fixed their make-up but it was nervewracking nonetheless.

We were called back in- and congratulated by the judge who finally broke a smile.

She instituted the 10 day waiting period (in Russia, any court decision has a 10 day waiting period in case someone decides to protest- the judges can waive it but rarely do in the case of adoption- one last chance for the family to show up). We had figured on that happening- so Rick had tickets to leave the next day- and I stayed until 3/28 when Nikolai and I flew out at 6am from Perm to Moscow.

So, we went back to our hotel and went immediately to the bar and toasted ourselves. and then packed Rick up and he flew out the following morning. and that was the last time we had 24 hours to ourselves.

International Adoption as I always say, is not for the weak of heart or wallet. and yes, I promise (Angie and Kris) I will write the whole story. It was such a nightmare that it comes back in waves. We watched an adoption story today and I bawled and he looked at me like, "man, she's nuts". Love that little dude. (still need to go to work but Rick and I will tell anyone that asks that there's no way we could have produced something that cute!)

J

PS- my dad was diagnosed with shingles today which totally sucks. Stress of dealing with my grandmother, I'm guessing.

[DCJenn]

So, as I have posted elsewhere, it's the one year anniversary of our landing in Perm for the Court date 4/15.

Wow. Poor little dude has come so far in this one year! After we got rid of the giardia and got him on some thyroid meds (a result of malnutrition) things sort of turned a corner. He's talking in sentences now, every day has a new word or phase. Physically, he's still short but he's a stocky young lad. Today he was pretty much a jerk from the moment he woke up so I put him down for a nap at noon and it's now 3pm with no sign of waking up. (he is breathing though!) So- I guess he was really tired.

It's been an amazing journey though. I think my biggest surprise is my husband, though. Rick's dad left when he was almost 2- he was a LA Firefighter and went off to work a 24 hour shift and while his mom was making lunch for the two older girls, the process servers showed up with the divorce papers. Nice, huh? And her second husband, when sober, was a great guy. However, he fell off the wagon enough times that there were some serious trust issues that remained until his death. (I saw him as a sick old man, Rick saw him as the drunk who made his teenage years a nightmare) I know that he was very afraid of how he would be as a dad. I finally told him to just do 1) what comes naturally and 2) the polar opposite of what Richard and Bill did, and he'd be fine.

Watching the two of them together makes me so happy. Rick goes running in the morning or at the hospital now so that he can spend time with Nikolai before bed. (or he takes him running and has now conceded the iPod thing...) You can tell that Nikolai is like, "thank god you're home because this woman is crazy..."

So, I have no regrets - we picked the right country at the right time, even though it was a heart-wrenching experience. We have a journey ahead of us with the adoption story and I hope that we can manage to get through those very difficult questions without too much trauma. He's fascinated with belly buttons which always make me mentally thank Larissa (his birth mother) for acknowledging that she couldn't raise him. She's only two years younger than I am and was divorced with two other kids. In America, that's hard. In Russia? It's nearly impossible.

We're going to a local restaurant called Domku on Saturday for their Russian by way of Scandinavia and Poland brunch to celebrate Gotcha Day.

Jenn

[DCJenn]

4/11/06

I sincerely hope that every one out there in cyber world has a friend like mine. We met at work- she was technically working 'for' me but quickly rose up the ladder and we ended up doing the exact same thing for two different departments- her husband is a PhD from USUHS and is adopted- mine is an MD from USUHS and adopted.

She did some family tree research and found my mothers maiden name (unique spelling of a common Irish name) in her family tree and that just sealed it. We disagree on a LOT- religion, politics, etc. but we can have the best discussions about life. Mostly we have an unyielding love and respect for each other and support each other through whatever life throws at us.

She was 3/4 through a Master's at Hopkins when her now nearly 12 year old was born. then and there at that moment she decided that she needed to be with this little baby more than she needed a Master's degree. She worked for a little while longer but was able to quit when number 2 arrived. She and her husband have had a marriage very similar to the medical marriage- tons of crazy hours as he worked his way up in the Big Pharma/Research world and she attempted to keep everyone together.

Anyway, I talked to her today and as always, its like we live around the corner from each other not many states apart. I wish we lived closer because she's just fab. and she 'gets' it- the whole life as a grown-up stuff.

So, I wish that for everyone- a dear friend that doesn't require maintenance and is happy to chat for an hour every six months but when you do get together there's no wierdness.

Jenn

[DCJenn]

4/13/06

and speaking of good friends, tomorrow is my room-mate from college (which we both agree is the dumbest title ever but can't decide on how else to refer to each other...) turns 40. Unfortunately, it's also Passover so it will be an unleavened celebration (as was her 21st birthday and her 30th birthday)

I actually like Passover food so I think we'll be fine!

She's another one that luck brought into my life. She started out as my next-door neighbor in the girls dorm freshman year. (do they even have girls dorms anymore?) We didn't have any room-mates initially so we hung out together. Then the college decided that if you didn't pay $100 to keep yourself room-mate free, they'd assign one for you. I didn't have a spare $100 bucks so Carin found a crazy acquaintance to move in with me. Laura was a total nutcase, but was smart and funny so it worked out ok. Sophomore year, Laura and I ended up sharing a house on-campus with 7 guys, several of whom were graad students. It was a unique year. Unfortunately, Laura made some pretty bad decisions and ended up hospitalized at a private 'mental health hospital' and Carin and I just pretty much were together every moment from then on.

Meanwhile, back in our Freshman year, Carin and Laura were hosting a Halloween party between the two rooms and decided to make a tape (back in the day!! I'm totally dating myself) of some 'scary' sounds they found at the library (on record). So, we lived with some VERY naive young ladies and they actually thought Carin and Laura were witches and thus, Carin became the Witch of Western Maryland College. Yup, 1984 there really were people this stupid. (part of the reasoning was because she wore black. She weighed 200 pounds+! She wore black because it was slimming.)

After all of that insanity and people hanging "repent dogs from hell" signs on our doors and hanging crosses on our doorhandles (and is there any wonder why I'm as anti-organized religion as I am?) and the idiot RA asking Carin and Laura to do a 'presentation' on the occult for the other girls in the dorm to 'help them understand'- (yikes, I couldn't unfortunately make this up)...it was a nightmare. I remember what Carin said to the stupid girl. "What do I know from the occult? I'm a nice Jewish girl from Baltimore..." cracked me up. It was worse than any junior high idiocy. actually, we completely laughed most of it off, except for the freaky repent stuff. THAT pissed me off. and the crosses- since she's JEWISH.

We ultimately spent 90% of our college lives off campus.

So, here we are- 22 years later. She ended up losing all of that weight and now runs in ultramarathons. We went to a homecoming a few years back and lo and behold- everyone was oh so nice. We pretty much just spent time with the people we knew who were genuine. and we signed in as "The Witch of WMC" and I was "the witches room-mate" which is seriously how we are probably still known by the majority of the people who graduated from there.

anyway, I'm psyched to see her since I haven't seen her since the breakfast after her wedding in November.

Jenn

[DCJenn]

4/20/06

So, all of the talking about the gay relatives had me thinking- maybe my family is different than most- but probably not. I really do believe that there's a genetic component to homosexuality given that there's at least one person in every generation going back decades on my mom's side of the family.

My Uncle Russell, fabulous man that he is, is exactly like every other man in his 80s. He served in WWII, he dated women, he proposed and then I guess he decided that he didn't feel like living a lie. He at some point met Mickey and they've been together ever since. Everyone knew he was gay but it was a part of life. My great-grandmother's sister lived with another woman for her entire life- but back then it wasn't discussed. My grandmother is 99% sure that they were gay. It's so funny for me to imagine that it's a problem.

My mother's brother and her niece are also gay. It's so bizarre to even mention though because it's such a non-essential factoid about who they are. My cousin Cate is so flippin' smart- scary smart- in math and science- it's like she got all of the smart genes for those subjects and left the other four of us with nuthin'.

I don't know. I'm just glad that as freaky wierd as my mom's family can be, who people live with/sleep with/love never enters into the family dialogue.

I'll will say that one ugly skeleton in the family closet has finally emerged. My Uncle, (the straight one) was molested by his boy scout leader when he was 11. the Boy Scout leader who was also married, with kids and a youth f-ing minister. He told my grandparents about it and they were going to go to the Police (which was a HUGE deal back in the early 1970s) but my grandfather died from a heart attack, yes, the night my uncle told him. (ummm, can we mention how extraordinarily bad that timing was?) So, my grandmother, newly widowed with a 9yo, an 12yo and a 16yo (and my mom was 26 and out of the house with us by then) didn't do very well those first years and nothing was ever done about it. (everyone ended up on the bad end of the 1970s, drugs, long hair, arrest records, etc. it was a bit of a train wreck for a while)

Finally, my uncle decided to deal with it and went public and although the Boy Scout leader was dead, several other boys (now men) also came forward when the local police investigated. I swear, my uncle is a changed man. He's happy. He looks 10 or more years younger. Wow.

I guess we're like every family and no other family. But- hey, they're all pretty interesting...(and someday I'll tell the story of my mom's cousin who was born 10 months after his father died....)

Jenn

[DCJenn]

So, my friends are all 40 now- Leslie, Carin, Gwen and Margaret Anne. I was always the youngest kid in school so while I was pissed when they all got their driver's licenses a full year before I did and they all turned 21 before me, I exact my revenge now.

My house is being shown right and left this weekend. I finally just said screw it and listed it on every miltitary site I could find plus Craig's List plus realtor.com. My realtor called me this morning with the news that some guy from Philly is coming in on Sunday, we're also having an Open House on Sunday and they're showing it today. (which is really why I should be doing laundry and vacuuming right now...)

I ordered new rugs, I was tired of looking at the remnants of the butter and tissue paper incident. The shipping costs more than the rugs themselves- oh yeah, Jill, if you're reading this- powersellersusa.com on eBay.

The house looks great. I also spent money we didn't have on outside accoutrements like table clothes and glassware to set up vignettes at each section of the outdoors for the Open House on Sunday. I have found that people have ZERO imagination and unless you slap it in front of them, they can't get it. So...paper lanterns and party papers here we go.

We're also in the midst of the annual ant invasion. I did sprinkle cayenne and cinnamon which really does work but the brown haze throughout the kitchen and living room was less than inviting. I bought the Earth Friendly Raid to do a big zap plus those ant hotel things (the childproof ones). I hate ants. They're coming in between the masonry and the sliding glass doors. I'm about to become a one woman Killing Machine. I'm going to be the creature that ant parents warn their children about.

So...I'm feeling positive that we're going to sell. I told my guys that I won't officially panic until 5/15.

Jenn

[DCJenn]

27 different groups came to the open house yesterday and apparently several are interested. Tuesday is offer writing day in DC (I guess because after working all weekend the realtors all take Monday off) so we'll see if anyone is that ready.

I'll be in NY though, visiting my grandmother. She's never met Nikolai so I thought it would be cool to get up there before we leave the East Coast. She's also going to teach me how to knit which should be fun. I need something else to do besides watching TV and drinking wine. I need a new hobby. I find that my attention span is worse than normal so reading has become useless. I'm hoping that this will suck me in so that I have something to DO while Rick studies.

But off I go to do laundry and get everything packed. We're spending the night at my parents tonight so that we can leave early in the am for the world's most awful drive. Two lane highways and construction- and it's been that way for my entire life.

[DCJenn]

5/8/06

The trip to visit my grandmother was great. Emotionally exhausting for my mother but to me, she's just the same as she's always been. She loved Nikolai and she was very successful in the teaching me how to knit plan. Nikolai was a trooper- seven hours each way in the car seat and only once when we were 20 minutes away from my mom's house did he throw a fit- "All Done Momma's Red Car" was the pronouncement. (and my mom and I completely agreed!)

As for the home sales- we decided to drop the price. The hope is that it'll open it up to more people and that hopefully we'll get more than one contract on it. They're having an open house on Sunday on the theory that there won't be that many and people who are in town house-hunting will be more likely to come check it out.

Also, we went to the Walter Reed Annex on Saturday to buy Rick's new rank (Major) and the new desert BDUs (the fatigues or Battle Dress Uniform). After several years of the Army (or any service for that matter) not sending Child Neurologists, the Child Neurologist a year ahead of him was just sent. So, it's only a matter of time. and before anyone asks, he's probably not really going as a child neurologist (although handy to have around if someone is having a seizure) but as a physician. Our friend the pediatrician essentially functioned as an er doc the year she was there. I know he's going to go, it's just a matter of when. Hopefully, it'll be after we're in and settled somewhat. and hopefully he'll be someplace relatively safe. Can't worry about it, especially yet. The upside (only coming from Career Military) is that going to Iraq will help in the long term if he decides to stay and go for Colonel. By the time he's done with the payback for medical school (of which the past six years did not count) he'll have 22 years in. Why the hell not stay and try to make Colonel. There's a point at which the retirement doesn't go up- and that's the point he needs to try to make, as far as I'm concerned.

As for my employment- I'm still applying for various things, if they sound interesting. Nothing back yet but I'm not really ready to work yet either. Getting a job now would be a huge PITA.

Tomorrow I'm going to a spa with my Mother and SIL- using the gift certificates that we got for Christmas and I threw in an extra treatment for my Mother's Day Present. I cannot possibly explain how much I am looking forward to this. Of course, the fact that my dad will be watching Nikolai all day is cause for some concern, but hopefully they'll be fine.

Oh well, just another day in Medical Spouse World.

[DCJenn]

The spa was fab. I've never had a wrap before and really, being wrapped up like a burrito at a 7-11 is a pretty nice experience.

The house has had some interested potential buyers but having only one bathroom is killing us (see my post under the home section). I honestly don't get it- this is a neighborhood of houses built in 1960! We're lucky we have closet space. There are some models that do have two bathrooms but ours isn't one of them, instead we have a yard. So...we wait.

I'm mentally gearing up to lose the contract on the house in San Antonio. Actually this is OK, as much as I like the house, there are others in the neighborhood that I like as much or more that are currently for sale or will be soon. (yeah, it helps when the realtor is also your friend). she's also found us a rental (which we would need regardless) and it's a block down the street from our old house. Exact same model and it's only 700 bucks a month.

There's also a great job in the 'hood that I will be applying for on her recommendation. Am I qualified? Only if enthusiasm and common sense count! That and I actually have run a multi-million dollar non-profit organization. That's the project for nap time today.

We're leaving Nikolai with my parents this weekend and we're going to my friend's beach house at Bethany Beach, Delaware. I can't even begin to say house much we're looking forward to it. Saturday is Rick's official promotion date and Sunday is our anniversary. Just like it was 6 years ago- he graduated on Saturday, we got married on Sunday. (except that six years ago the packers came on Monday, the Movers on Tuesday and we were in San Antonio by Thursday afternoon!)

I'm looking forward to three things this weekend: 1) sleeping in 2) not walking the dog five miles every day and 3) actually having a conversation with my husband when neither of us is cranky.

Jenn

[DCJenn]

Let's see, what's new?

Rick was promoted to Major on the 20th and we celebrated our anniversary on the 21st. It was a good weekend at the beach.

Nikolai had blood work done last week to chekc his thyroid levels. His thyroid was a little wacky when we got back from Russia, probably due to malnutrition. His endocrinologist, (and our friend, Karen) called on Monday to say that his levels were good and he is A-OK. (we knew that but it's still good to hear). I think I'l take his synthroid and see if it helps me. (I've had steadily rising lab results over the last few years.)

We went out for dinner last night to Jaleo, a tapas place in DC. (there is another one in Bethesda, MD) Nikolai was once again a rock star. We ordered him a fruit and cheese plate and he had some of my beets and some of a ham/chicken fritter thing that Rick ordered, plus milk and apparently he does prefer his bread dipped in olive oil. Hilarious.

As much as I like going out to dinner with Rick, it's fun to bring Nikolai. Now, we have some guidelines- we must be home no later than 8:30, there has to be food for Nikolai and hopefully it's nothing fried, battered or previously frozen. (McDonalds is an occasional treat when we've all had a bad day, but that's it.) There are some great restaurants in San Antonio and some of them are not appropriate for little dudes so I better find some sitters!

I'm getting excited about the move. I've started up yoga again in anticipation of getting back into a routine once we get back. and the weather here the last few days is definitely a good thing- time to reacclimate to 90+ for days on end.

More later, Nikolai is destroying his bedroom.

[DCJenn]

First, since there are so few ways to say thanks in a public forum, I'll do it here in my blog- thanks to all of you who have PMed me and emailed me since the fracas in the debate forum. I appreciate your good thoughts. and although I know that I need not stand on my soapbox to defend my spouse (who is more than capable of defending himself) I will say that I'm extremely proud of him and the journey he has has taken to get to where he is today.

There's always scuttlebutt about the military and military doctors. Some people say that they're not at good as civilian docs, some military docs hate being in the military, and the system can chew up good docs and spit them out to the civilian world. To be honest, nearly every HPSP friend we have (they're the ones who have gone to a civilian medical school for a stipend and only owe four years) are getting out once their four years are up. and it's sad because so many of them are talented physicians.

That said, the USUHS graduates do end up staying longer (they have to- after residency they owe seven more years- add the three or more years of residency plus the seven they own, it's pretty compelling to stay for the additional retirement offered at 20 years.) My husband spent four years in Army, then a year and a half in the Guard. Add to that four years at USUHS, three for residency, three for fellowship and the seven now? He'll be retirement eligible when he finishes the payback. whether he stays beyond that? Who knows, we'll cross that bridge when we come to it.

So, if anyone ever questions it again, we are flag waving, voting, go to the Memorial Day Parade, Celebrate Armed Forces day people. and we continue to be despite disagreeing with the current administration on most military decisions. actually it's BECAUSE we disagree that my husband is the most patriotic. What other country in this world allows people to speak freely about their opinions? The freedom to question our leaders is a right. and I believe that right is worth dying for.

End of soapbox.

and in other news, we have a contract on the house, the utilities etc, all set up on the rental, have the termination in effect on the house in SA. (our contract doesn't meet the timeline necessary) so we have the freedom to take our time and either rebid later or look at other houses in the neighborhood. or both.

ah, a calm move. We're not getting married and graduating. We're not homeless. We're not stressed out about moving to a new town where we know noone...

Amazing.

[DCJenn]

I am jumping out of my skin ready to get to Texas. I LOVE San Antonio. Our neighborhood is it's own small town. We will be living in the historic district and we know everyone already. It has everything anyone would want except a grocery store. (and you'd think, since the headquarters for the HEB chain is in the neighborhood, and Mr. Charles Butts the owner of the chain lives in the neighborhood...we'd have one. But no)

I didn't get the job that I thought I wanted. Which is actually good since it involved a lot more work that I feel like doing. I have decided that I am going to look for a day care program for Nikolai and actually take some time for myself. I need to figure out what I want to do when I grow up.

Part of my misses the disability field. Part of me really enjoyed by brief career as an exercise instructor. Part of me misses training for an event. I don't want to drive to work. I don't want to wear pantyhose and a suit. I can't sit behind a desk. (and when I had a desk job? not a good match)

I loved the travel aspect of my last job but I can't realistically do that with a physican spouse and a toddler. The strain on our marriage with me gone 3-4 days every week was enormous. We both liked our space, don't get me wrong, but I resented coming home to a sty and he resented the fact that I didn't know how long his hours were, etc. It wasn't a good time at all.

I entertain ideas of going back to school but it's totally avoidance, I don't need a PhD. I certainly don't need another Master's degree. and I don't even know what I'd get another degree IN.

So, I plan to take a few months to figure it all out. and in the meantime, Nikolai will get desperately needed social interaction and I'll get to go to the gym and to yoga unencumbered.

J.

and I'm trying to convince my husband that I should get a Vespa for tooling around downtown SA. I want one of those fun mint green ones.

[DCJenn]

Well, we're here. Our stuff isn't but at this point it doesn't really matter. Nikolai is napping in his new toddler bed (and my that transition went amazingly well!), Rick is off studying and I'm lounging comfortably on the new Target lawn furniture.

We've already reconnected to the neighborhood. There are some great restaurants that we've gone back to and some new ones we look forward to trying. Unlike the rest of the city, our neighborhood is very much pedestrian friendly. Unfortunately there isn't a grocery store anymore, but the one that was here sucked anyway. Besides, having a reason to go to Whole Foods or Central Market (which more than makes up for not having a TJ's) is not a bad thing. Besides, I do most of the basics shopping at the commissary anyway. There is a new wine/beer/deli that delivers. That doesn't suck.

We ended up buying me a new car, a Toyota Yaris. It gets 40 mph and costs way less than the hybrids. I found some interesting research that also calculated the building costs of the vehicles and calulated that into the cost ratios. Since the Prius is bigger and has more steel, it ends up 'costing' 11,000 more miles than the Yaris. It was an interesting perspective to think about. (and scary if you factor in the resources needed to make those big honking vehicles in addition to their horrible gas mileage)

So, it's good. There was a great job posted last week so I spent and evening at kinkos doing my resume and cover letter etc. We'll see. It's in the disabilities field and I'm perfectly qualified for it but sometimes these jobs are pre-filled (as in they have an internal candidate in mind).

We did find a day care for Nikolai for the short term. I'm done for a little while. I think we're bored with each other. That and we need a chance to get things organized once our stuff comes and there's no way to safely do that with a toddler.

and speaking fo safety, I'm going to post a question to the masses about pool fences and nets because one of the houses we're considering has a pool and I'm about paranoid. If we decide to go for it, I want a pool fence, and a safety net and alarms on all of the doors. I don't think I'd sleep any other way. Unless I ended up outside next to the pool!

The animals made the journey without any incidents and Trouble has reconnected to her original street. (she was the stray we found on our roof after a hail storm when we lived two blocks away) Interesting fact though, since we took Nicki and had her fixed, the stray cats on the street are all black and white. They were once all orange and looked like her and Trouble. I guess she really was the Mother of all Strays.

Of course, Pete had his first trip to the vet on Day Five. He has bad allergies from the East Coast and we needed meds. and she found FLEAS. Day FIVE. and he has fleas. So that meant all animals needed flea treatment plus all bedding etc. had to be washed. It's definitely the downside of living in an area that only has rare freezes.

But, life is good in the Deep South of Texas. Hopefully, it'll stay that way.