What do you do all day?

[mommax3]

Re: What do you do all day?

Weird weather here! There was a confirmed tornado last night just north of where I live. Our temps dropped 40-some degrees between yesterday morning and this morning. Our family was at the school (which is also a church) participating in a "Chocolate Makes You Smart" evening for the kindergarten and 1st grade classes when the storm came through. There were tables set up with different math activities involving M&Ms and Hershey kisses. All was going well when it was announced there was a tornado warning and we needed to move to the interior hallways until it ended. Imagine it......50+ people crowded into a hallway, with half of those people under the age of 7, all hopped up on sugar and chocolate. It was a lovely time. I just saw on the news that there were 100 MPH winds going on while I was crouching in the hallway. I still think I would rather have taken my chances with the weather.....

I drove over to my aunt's town yesterday to meet with her lawyer regarding her estate. I hadn't been there since I cleaned out her apartment. It was harder than I expected, just to drive through downtown. She owned and ran a business downtown for most of the years I knew her, so my memories of her just came flooding back. I also made the mistake of driving by her apartment. I really miss her. The estate stuff is moving along...it is a lot of work, though.

We are all in a good place right now. I am (mostly) finding success in my attempt to keep my part-time job PART-TIME. I have been able to have lunch with friends and have some time alone at home. It makes a lot of difference, in a good way, in my mood.

[mommax3]

Re: What do you do all day?

Well, we're at the end of another month and there is not much to report! Same old blah of winter....I'm so sick of it! My Dad was up last week for a few days to see his accountant and get his taxes done. It was good to see him. DH has been working a ton and is very touchy about it, as I found out when I *raised my eyebrows* upon hearing that he had a dinner meeting tonight. I swear that is all I did, and he went ballistic (for him). "Would you rather I didn't work? What do you expect me to do?" and on and on. I told him that I was not going to stop "pushing back" occasionally, because I miss him and the kids do too. If he wanted Miss Stepford/stand by your man, he married the wrong girl.

We went and looked at a house in the neighborhood where we own a lot yesterday. It was a nice house, but it didn't wow us enough to give up our idea of building. However, I found out that DH wants to put our house on the market THIS spring because he would rather have us be in a rental for awhile then face the potential of two house payments. I understand where he is coming from, given the current housing climate, but it is a lot to wrap my head around! After all, I am used to moving every four years, and we have only been here three. We would need to paint almost all of the interior of this house and do some *serious* de-cluttering.....stuff I thought we still had a year to get done. I told him that if he is able to reassure me that there will be a rental available that will take four pets and be able to accomodate all of us, I would be on board with listing. So we will see where this leads......

We just finished the second trimester at school. Right now is my least favorite time of year.....it seems like it should be spring, but it just isn't. I do have a mentor student from the high school for the rest of the year, so that is kind of nice. It will take me a little bit to figure out how to integrate her into the running of things, but it will be nice to have some help with my students. Probably I will get used to having someone else in my classroom just in time for the year to be over.

The boys are all doing okay. DS #1 took the ACT a few weeks ago and did pretty well.....but he spent the last week of the trimester catching up on a bunch of long-term stuff that he had put off until the last minute. He had a detention after school yesterday for excessive talking, and he also forgot to bring his books to school for his piano lesson, despite being reminded the night before. I made him pay me for the lesson, since I still had to pay for it. His irresponsibility drives DH and I bananas! DS #2 is another story. DH and I have been considering holding him back this year. School has never clicked with him since we moved here. First grade in TX was good, he was between the 70th and 90th percentile on standardized tests.....all was well. Second grade here was hard, since he was in a new school, and additionally was with a brand new teacher. The cut-off dates here are earlier, too, so with a birthday at the end of May, he is by far the youngest in his class. He struggled that year, cried a lot, and his test scores took a big dive. He was in a better place emotionally last year, but his third grade teacher was NOT good. His test scores actually declined as the year went along. This year, his teacher is pretty good and he is happy at school, but he is not confident in doing his work, and certainly not thorough. His math has improved a TON, although his reading and ability to follow directions still leaves lots to be desired. I am starting to come to the conclusion that he is just lazy, and holding him back won't change that at all. The strength of the school (meaning the best teachers) the boys are in is K-1st and 5th-8th grades. So I am hoping that next year will be his year! He already has one of the upper grade teachers for math, and that has made a tremendous difference.....hopefully next year will bring more of the same. DS #3 loves school and his teachers. No concerns there at all. He tends to be shy, certainly more so than his brothers, but a kid that keeps quiet and doesn't have to be the life of the party is nice to have! Sibling rivalry is alive and well here, and cabin fever only exacerbates it. Funny thing, though.....any two of them can get along fine, but add the third one and you've got trouble. Two weekends ago, DS #3 bashed one of his brothers in the mouth with a wii controller when he lost a game. The wii is now boxed up in my room until further notice. Between my job and my life, I feel like an attendant in a home for emotionally infirm children a good bit of the time. I think I am starting to resemble the ones I serve!

[mommax3]

Re: What do you do all day?

Today finds me home for the second day in a row with a sick kid.....my youngest. He finally got the crud that has been going around and has had fever for the past three days. I think he will be well enough to go back tomorrow, but I will still miss seeing my classes because I am being pulled out for a day of in-service. My kids go to choir Contest on Saturday, so I am sweating things a little bit.

Being at home is causing me to question whether or not I want to keep working. Part of my questioning has to do with the fact that I will be teaching 4 (out of 7) periods next year, instead of the 3 I have taught since I started there. It is a good sign that more kids are signing up, I guess, but most of the people are signing up are girls....hardly any boys. So that means that for each grade level, I will have one all girls choir and one mixed choir, and I will have 4 preps.....4 sets of music to choose 4 times a year (with no money to pay for it other than my concert receipts, which is another annoyance of this job......I receive no money from the school to teach my classes, unless I go ask the principal for it. It is like asking for my allowance, and I hate it. They should give me a budget, imo, and charge book rental in order to take my class) and 4 classes of 40+ students to keep under control while tracking and documenting that I am teaching the state standards for music and they are learning them. <sigh> It is NOT going to feel like part time, that's for sure. However, we will have a new principal and a new superintendent next fall, and will be moving into a new building next spring. Our new building will have 7th and 8th graders on one side and 5th and 6th graders on the other, and I am thinking that down the road, I might have the opportunity to take on some of the 6th grade music, which I would love, and maybe even transition out of choir all together and just do general music....less time on weekends, etc. So maybe I just need to hang tight.... who knows. I asked the kids what they thought this morning as I took the two well ones to school. They both said "will we still get to take fun vacations if you stop working? Will we have enough money for that?" They're all heart. I think DH would like me to quit sometimes, but he would never say that. He works a lot of hours, but does have non-call Fridays off and post-weekend call Monday afternoons, which may turn into entire days at some point. I miss most of his "off" time due to working, though. I am sure I will continue to think about this.....

Speaking of fun trips, DH and I decided how to spend our "half" of spring break (we split it with his partner) at the end of the month. We are going to spend Friday night with our good friends that live an hour south of here.....we have had a hard time getting together with them due to busy schedules on both our parts. It will be nice to spend an evening with them. On Saturday, we will head down to the Gatlinburg area, where DH found a "mountain cabin" to rent. His brother (and family) will be driving over from Charlotte to spend Saturday with us....there is enough room in our rental for everyone. I am excited about this, because they have a baby girl that just turned one....I have only seen her once AND they adopted another baby, born December 31, and I can't wait to meet him. They also have a six year old girl. They will leave Sunday and we will spend one more night in our rental and then head to Nashville to visit with my sister and her husband on Monday night. We will head home on Tuesday. So that is one trip. The boys have April 23-25 off, too, for some reason, so I have saved my personal days all year in order to have days off then. DH took the afternoon of the 23rd off as well as the 24th and 25th.....and we will have the weekend too.....so we are flying to Tampa and staying in a three bedroom condo on Clearwater Beach! I am so pumped about this, especially after our FREEZING trip to Florida over Christmas Break. We will only have three full days there, but I plan to make the most of them.

One thing casts a shadow over all of this vacation planning, though. My half-sister's baby is due March 31st, and we have known for months that it has chromosomal abnormalities which include a very serious heart defect. The doctors do not expect the baby to live long after he is born. My sister is doing really well and has met with all sorts of doctors over the past few months, finding out as much as she can. She and her husband have also talked with their priest and feel like they have thought through the ethics of the situation as much as they can ahead of time. The situation really reminds me a lot of what Kate went through and I have thought of her so often. So this is going to happen around the time we get back from Spring Break, and I am trying to brace myself for it so that I can be supportive. My half-sister's mom hasn't really been there for her kids since she decided to divorce their (and my) Dad.....in fact, she will be on a cruise during the week this baby is due. I really have a hard time understanding that! So, if you have them, good thoughts/prayers would be appreciated for my sister Adrienne, her husband Mark, and their baby boy Owen.

Oh, I almost forgot! DS #1 qualified for the state geography bee, which will happen on April 4th. He is totally pumped! I am proud of him. He has always loved maps and has gone the extra mile to study this year, hoping that he would get to this point. There were 103 kids chosen from 4th - 8th graders around the state, so it is an honor for him.

A couple of pictures to end with.....the first one was taken when we went to the Cincinnati Aquarium a few weeks ago. There was a rainforest area that had lorikeets flying free, and you could buy nectar in cups and try to get them to perch on you to drink it. The boys each got a cup, but got a little closer to nature than they had intended. One of the birds scored a direct hit on Joel, but there were several near misses. I was cowering in a corner watching the poop raining down from the sky, laughing my head off. I finally managed to get a picture:



This next one was taken last week, on the day that the boys had "uniform day" at school (it was spirit week). After already living through "class color" day and "polka dots and stripes" day, I was a little low on both inspiration and creativity, but DH had it all under control:




Happy spring, everybody!

[mommax3]

Re: What do you do all day?

My nephew (first on my side of the family) was born around 12:30 this morning. He weighed 7 lbs., 7 oz., and has been breathing on his own since birth, which is really good, given his diagnosis/prognosis. Right now, his first heart surgery is planned for Monday. My sister is doing very well, although I hope she got a chance to crash this afternoon. Her husband is from a fairly large family who all live nearby, and they are there giving lots of support. I was the lone representative from Adrienne's side of the family, and kind of felt like I was crashing the party. I absolutely love her husband's family, don't get me wrong, and I am so thankful that Adrienne has all of them......heaven knows that her mom and dad could not provide the same things that her husband's family is in terms of emotional support. I just want to let her know that I am here for her and I care, but I think it is easier for her to go with his side of the family and keep them all informed. They all got calls right when he was born (those that weren't at the hospital already, that is) while I didn't hear anything until 9:00 this morning, and she didn't seem to want me to come to the hospital last night. I haven't even seen her since Christmas, (we live 30 minutes apart) and didn't know until today that she had developed gestational diabetes at the end of this pregnancy.....which seems strange to me, given DH's specialty. This isn't about me, and I don't even know why I am posting all of this.....I just feel bad that she doesn't have much support from her side of the family (myself included, if I am honest, since I am so busy all of the time) and wish it could be different. The legacy of divorce/remarriage.....it is the gift that keeps on giving, that's for sure. When I left the hospital today, I was the only person on her side of the family that knew Owen had been born, including her parents. Oh, well, enough of my whining. I am going to visit again tomorrow, and take the boys with me, at her request. Here is a picture of the baby......honestly, he looks like any other newborn I have seen. When I think of the surgery coming up, I can hardly stand it for him.



We came back from our short Spring Break trip last night. We spent Friday night with our good friends who live about an hour south of here. We have all been friends for fifteen years, when DH and I were newlyweds and they were engaged. We had our first babies about six weeks apart, and each of us ended up with three kids. We have stayed close through many moves, but somehow, since we moved back, it is almost impossible for us to get together.....so we decided to start our spring break with them. We had a great time!



As we were getting ready to leave their house on Saturday morning, DH thought it would be fun to play around with a "rip-stick" (skateboard with only two wheels) that their oldest daughter had. He wiped out and really could have broken his neck, but only ended up with a skinned elbow and sore shoulder/side for his trouble. I wasn't amused. After leaving there, we drove to Sevierville, TN, where we had rented a cabin in the woods. It was really a great place. There were three levels, with a king bedroom/bath on each level, as well as a set of twin bunks and a pull-out couch on the lower level. There were five tvs, two dvd players, a pool table, and a hot tub, too, as well as a full kitchen. It was awesome! We met DH's brother and his family there....they drove over from Charlotte. I can't remember if I have posted about this before, but they have adopted all of their children because they aren't able to have biological children. Their oldest is about six weeks younger than Nathan. They adopted a baby girl last February, after another adoption fell through at the last minute, and then out of the blue were presented with the opportunity to adopt again (a boy this time) this past December, which they did just two weeks after hearing about the possibility for the first time. We had only met their second daughter once, and had never met their new little boy, so we were really looking forward to our visit! Here is a picture of all of the kids together.



My boys had a great time with all of their cousins, but Emma Claire, who is 13 months old, was especially entertaining to all of us!



Nathan had lots of fun playing with Kate, who is close to him in age.


Carter, the baby, had a cold and was up most of the night that they stayed with us. It woke DH and I up, but we didn't have to get up with him, so it wasn't that much of a bother. He was feeling better the next day, though, and was awfully sweet.


My sister-in-law definitely has her hands full with two little ones 10 months apart! She tends to be on the particular side, so this has been a stretch for her.....but she is handling it with lots of grace.


They left the next day, after a very filling lunch at the "Apple Barn". YUM! After they left, the boys took advantage of the pool and the mini-golf course at the resort where we were staying, and then we went back to our cabin. DH and I took a nap while the boys watched a movie, and then we cooked some frozen pizzas and just hung out the rest of our time there. It was really awesome to just be able to relax together. I read two books while we were there! I don't know when the last time was that I was so relaxed. Here is a picture DH and I took of ourselves while the kids were playing mini-golf.




We drove to Nashville the next day and had dinner with my sister and her husband, who were married last summer. They are doing well. We came home yesterday, but stopped off at the outlet center on the way home to get some spring clothes for the boys. We got some nice things for not too much $$$$, at least when you consider how much we were able to get. DH went back to work today at about 11, and will be on call solid until next Wednesday. He splits Spring Break with his partner, but his partner has no qualms about taking his kids out of school, so they aren't coming back right when Spring Break ends. It will even out, though, because our kids also have April 23 - 25 off, and DH and I have arranged to take those days off, too.....we are headed to a condo on Clearwater Beach! We have had a cooler than average March (not that it is ever what you would call warm) and I am more than ready for some sunshine.....I hope the days between now and then pass quickly!

Tomorrow, we will visit my sister in the hospital, get haircuts, and pick up the dog. Friday, Luke has the state geography bee downtown, and Saturday, the boys and I, along with my mom, are going to drive over to the school where my sister teaches, outside of Cincinnati, to see the musical her high school students are putting on. Sunday will be church, and then we'll be back to school.....but only 7 weeks left in the year!

I really appreciate all of your kind thoughts and words of support about Adrienne and baby Owen. I will keep you all updated.

[mommax3]

Re: What do you do all day?

Six more weeks of school......but who's counting, right? ME!!!!! This has actually been a very pleasant school year for me on the work front, and it hasn't been bad for my kids, either. I'm still looking forward to the "break" that summer will bring, though.

DH was off this weekend, and we got a ton done around the house and made some progress on our future plans.....building our new house, selling this one, etc. We met with our lender and the builder we are going to use, and we have a May 9th appt. to meet with the designer who will draw up our plans! I am both excited and nervous to get going with this. I worry that the amount of work (and actual *communication* on a regular basis) involved in building a house will be problematic for us, but DH and I had some good talks this weekend and have scheduled all of his free time in June to make selections, etc., so hopefully that will keep either of us from freaking out when it is time to make decisions.

I continue to struggle with our move to a.....new financial phase in life, I guess. I don't mean to imply that we are rolling in it, because we aren't, but this past year is the first time that we have not had financial "crunch" times. We generally have a very healthy amount left in our bank account at the end of a pay period, to the point that I honestly don't know when payday is any more.....there is always plenty of money in checking, so I don't pay attention. If the boys need clothes, finding the money to buy them isn't an issue, but finding the time to shop is.....I am just rambling now and I'm afraid it sounds like I am bragging, but that is not my point in posting. It is just such a WEIRD shift to make! Sometimes DH and I just look at each other and laugh when something happens that makes the contrast between "then" and "now" apparent. It's a good place to be, don't get me wrong, but I would be lying if I said I don't feel uncomfortable with it now and then, especially since all of my (smart, hard-working, dedicated) colleagues at school will never see the kind of money that DH is making now. When I taught before, there was a solidarity that I felt with my co-workers, and everyone was very supportive and kind about financial pressures......we were all in the same boat. Now there are comments made that subtly let me know that I am not "one of them" any more. No one is unkind, but it is just a strange feeling. I am still the same person, but the way people relate to me has changed.

We are all headed to FL this week, on Wednesday. I'm very excited about the trip.....hoping that my lily-white flesh doesn't blind anyone in the Clearwater area. DH and I also just planned a trip to Oregon (where I will finally get to meet Nellie! ) for just the two of us towards the end of June. The two older boys will be at camp the week we are gone, and my mom said she would watch Nathan for us.....so we are free to go. Neither of us have ever been to the northwest, so we are really excited about the trip.

Although I have tried to remain in denial about this next aspect, the fact is that our house will be going on the market soon. The market is not that great here, so we are going to start the process early in hopes of not ending up with two mortgages next summer. We will get a quote from a painting crew tomorrow about getting our upstairs and the downstairs bedrooms painted. We need to clean out closets and our garage, and then the sign will go in the yard and the fun will begin. :| To say that I'm not looking forward to the process would be a gross understatement.....but the only way out is through, right? :huh:

[mommax3]

Re: What do you do all day?

Our trip to FL was awesome! We had a great time. Our condo was exactly as advertised, the weather was perfect, and DH and I got along great. Too bad we had to come home!

I am just *losing it* this week.....too much going on, as usual. The community where I teach (Danville) has a summer swim team for kids. A co-worker of mine persuaded me to sign my kids up. Swimming is kind of a sore subject in our house.....DH and his brothers practically lived in the water when they were growing up, and all three of them swam on their college teams. One brother even swam in the Olympic Trials. My MIL was the president of Indiana Swimming for several years.....she never does anything halfway. Soooo, DH has always wanted the boys to be swimmers, too. Luke has been on two different swim teams, but never for long. I had heard that this summer deal in Danville was very low key, and I thought it would be a nice way to get the kids familiar with some other kids in the community, since we will be moving there in a year. The team only runs through the end of June, so no sweat, right? WRONG! Practices started this week.....Luke is supposed to practice from 6:30 to 8:00 a.m. on Tues/Thurs, Joel practices from 4-5 on Mon/Wed, and Nathan practices from 4-5 on Tues/Thurs. There are also make-up practices from 6-7 on Tues/Thurs. Luke can never go to the early morning practices because we don't live in that community and there is no way we can fit a 10 mile drive to and from Danville into our morning routine and still get everyone where they need to be on time. So I have decided (after LOTS of driving so far this week) that everyone will be going to the make-up practices until school is out. During the summer, I will just suck it up and drive. The irrational part is that I am FURIOUS with DH about this....wth? I guess I feel like I signed them up for him, in part, because swimming was such a big part of his life growing up, and he would love to share it with his boys as well. The cold, hard truth is (of course) that he will be at work and will not be sharing any of this. I already know that he is on call during every single one of the meets, as well. I am just tired, I guess. Doing a sport every season has finally pushed me over the ledge.

Also, our new computer is a piece of *&%$ and pretty much doesn't work. I don't have time to sit on Dell's customer waste-your-time line and figure out what is wrong, so it just sits there. We have a fridge in our garage. The freezer part is full of frost, and the the fridge part has water raining down from the ceiling. I don't have time to sit around and wait for a repair guy. Joel broke his glasses, exactly in half. I don't have time to take him to the optometrist. I haven't been to see my sister's baby (in a hospital 30 minutes away) for a couple of weeks. I suck. We need to list our house, but are waiting until we get the upstairs painted, and even though we had the painters come two weeks ago to do the estimate, they haven't gotten back with us. I need to write the final checks and disburse the funds from my aunt's estate, but it is stressing me out to write checks for such large amounts.

Luke got a detention yesterday for saying "Dang it" when someone beat him to the answer during a game they were playing in religion class.....taught by one of the pastors, not one of the teachers. When I was told he had a detention for that, I figured he had directed it at a teacher, but no, just at a classmate, in fun, and she wasn't bothered by it at all. I wanted to march in the pastor's office and ask wtf he was thinking, giving a kid a detention for "dang it", but I restrained myself. However, I allowed myself to vent a little when DH got home last night, and he had the nerve to suggest that there might be a little more to the story than Luke was telling me. I about ripped his head off, mostly for insinuating that I take everything Luke says as the absolute truth. Work is mostly okay, but the autistic student I have had for two years now is completely out of control lately, the combination of hormones and a change of meds. Dealing with him is like dealing with an unreasonable three year old, all while 40 8th graders look on. Anyway, life is just a little over-the-top for me right now.

And yeah, I'm about to get my period. Want to make something of it? You'll have to wait until I get back from taking my kids to swimming.

[mommax3]

Re: What do you do all day?

This week is shaping up to be much better than last week. I finally managed to clear quite a few things from my "list" after my last update, and life looks a little brighter now.

DH and I got new phones yesterday.....ours were three years old and the batteries weren't holding a charge very well. I got a fancy phone that I don't know if I will ever learn to use. It is a Samsung Blackjack. I picked it because the qwerty keyboard was easiest for me to use. :huh: DH liked it because it has a USB port so we can plug our laptop into it while we are on the road and get on the internet......of course the phone can get on the internet, too, but whatever. I tried to post from my phone last night, but although I could read and everything, when it came time to post, it didn't go through. I will have to try again. DH didn't get quite as fancy of a phone, but it's a lot nicer than his old one. I think the phone is going to end up being my Mother's Day present, which is fine with me.

DH and his partner are getting ready to move into their own office this summer. For the past three years, they have shared office space with two FPs, and have split rent and staffing costs down the middle. Now they are going to get their own space, and they are really excited. The company they work for is made up mostly of FPs, and DH's partner was FP first, before he did a second residency (crazy man).
The income disparity between DH/his partner and the FPs (there are two other offices full of FPs as well as the two docs that DH shares with) has grown in the past year, due in part to the difference in specialty, but also due to a lack of watchfulness on the part of the FPs.....they have a more "socialistic" system where those that do more subsidize those that do less, and they have a lot of overhead with three offices. They also employ several nurse practitioners, and DH says they are just not pulling their own weight, but due to the system in place, they get paid. The bottom line is that the FP end of the business is too big and inefficient. Most of the docs are older and aren't used to the fact that they need to be watchful of coding and the business side of things. However, there have been some disparaging remarks made about DH and his partner, because the financial aspects are common knowledge, so it has gotten a little uncomfortable for DH. The move to their own office is their first step towards getting things a little more separated. I am really proud of DH for wrapping his head around the business aspects of this practice. He certainly has no background for it, and wasn't prepared for it in his residency or during his time in the military. I bitch a lot about the time he spends in meetings, but it is bearing fruit now, because a lot of those meetings were spent educating himself on how to make sure he and his partner get paid what they should.

Well, time to get the boys from school......and spend more time playing with my phone!

Sally

[mommax3]

Re: What do you do all day?

Ten more days. TEN!!!! While this time of year is bittersweet in a way, as my children pass milestones and I say good-bye to my students, some of whom I will really miss, underlying all of it is a longing for it to be OVER! I don't feel like I am a good mom OR a good teacher during the last two weeks of school. There are special things going on in my kids' classes at their school, and I can't be there for most of them. There are special things going on in the school where I work, and the kids would like me to be there for everything, but I am still only getting part-time pay. There is no way for me to please everyone (which is a fate worse than death to my way of thinking ).

My final concert of the year is this coming Monday. I will be so glad when it is over so I can stop putting the kids through the paces. They are *clearly* done. We have been having rainy and cool weather here, which is a blessing, because if it were nice out, we would really have our hands full at school.

We got our house plan today! We met with the designer last Friday, and he said he would have something for us in about a week, so I was surprised when I got the email saying they were ready. DH and I really like what he did, although we have a couple of minor tweaks to make. The house has ended up being a ~2700 sq. ft. ranch with a full *walk-out* basement. We weren't sure we were going to be able to get the walk-out, but he says we can, on one corner. We are happy about that! We will meet with him again to discuss the plan and our "tweaks" and then we will start the bid process (and will be re-introduced to reality, I'm sure ).

I had a nice Mother's Day weekend. I took Friday off (DH was off too) because we had a meeting with the builder and the designer. DH and I had lunch after that, and then he went shopping with me. Saturday, he took me out to dinner, and Sunday, we went up to my mom's house. Having the three day weekend seemed so much more relaxing than the normal two days, which are usually taken up by laundry and church!

There is a terrible cold making the rounds in our family. It started with Luke, then DH got it, and now the two little ones are coming down with it. I am determined not to get it before my concert is over, but I bet that my nose will start dripping in the car on the way home.....it has happened to me so many times that as soon I get through a big event, I get sick. Last year, I got a horrible stomach flu the last week of school.....so I will consider myself lucky if all I have to deal with is a cold.

Time for bed!

[mommax3]

Re: What do you do all day?

After reading the responses in the "Keeping in touch with your spouse" thread and thinking about it for awhile, I am starting to think DH and I are in an unhealthy pattern. Here's why:

DH left for work at 6:20 this morning. Our son Joel has been home for two days with a sore throat, coming down with a cold *I thought*, but since he was no better today, I decided he needed a strep test. I paged DH twice at about 2:30. He never called back, so I took Joel over to the office and asked the receptionist if I could get someone to swab Joel's throat. They were happy to help me out, and the strip showed positive almost immediately. I saw one of the FPs in the hallway, and he gave the techs the okay to call in the scrip. I then left DH's office *without ever seeing DH* and went to pick up the other two boys from school and get the antibiotic. DH did call at about 5:30 to remind me he is working an in-house shift tonight. I am still waiting for a little work/life balance around here. Seriously, the only time I feel relaxed lately is when we leave home, because then I know DH won't be going in or getting paged. I have not had a conversation with him all week......granted, part of that was due to my concert Monday night and the fact that I felt yucky last night, but sadly, it is becoming a fairly typical pattern. I am lonely but have no time to connect with my few friends here because I am always driving somebody somewhere. If I stopped working, I would get to see DH more on his somewhat irregular days off, but I would be bored out of my mind the rest of the time. It just makes me sad that the only answer seems to be for the boys and I to just totally do our own thing and hope that DH catches up with us from time to time. The "doing things as a family" dream is dying hard here. I handled DH's absence fairly well during residency, but it is different when you have three school-aged kids missing their dad, not to mention the fact that while I do enjoy my job, I feel like I spend all of my time coaxing and cajoling recalcitrant mini-humans into civilized behavior. What no one knows is that I am barely clinging to civilized behavior myself!

Vent over. I just need to get the school year over. Each of these last few days feels like it is a year long.

[mommax3]

Re: What do you do all day?

AHHHHHH.....school is OUT! Surprisingly, I was more relieved that my kids were out of school than by the fact that my own school was out. Probably because the last week of school for my kids is so hands-on where parents are concerned. An awards night here, sports banquet there, field day, closing chapel, 8th grade commencement......on and on it goes. I had volunteered to bring hot dogs, buns, and chips to something (because I couldn't physically be there and help....oh, the guilt!) and dutifully bought the stuff and sent it off to school on the day of the sports banquet. Only to find out that I was supposed to bring it for field day, a week later. So I sent it in again. :huh: Anyway, my kids and I were both done for the year as of last Friday, and I slept WELL over the weekend!

All three boys are on a little swim team for the month of June (well, really for only three weeks, since the older two leave for camp on the 22nd) and we have had a whole new schedule to get used to so far this week. Luke practices from 6:30 to 8:00 a.m. and 6:00 to 7:30 p.m., Joel practices from 4:00 to 5:00, and Nathan practices from 8:00 a.m. to 9:00 a.m. This team is in the community where I teach, but not where I live, so our house is a good 20 minute drive from the pool. Although the driving is annoying, not having to be anywhere myself is a relief. Last night was their "practice" meet, and Joel (who just turned 10 last Thursday) won all of his heats by quite a bit.....almost half a lap sometimes. He was so thrilled, and Travis and I were, too. Joel tends to struggle with school, unlike his brothers, and in athletics, he is always in Luke's (much larger) shadow. To have him excel in something where Luke and Nathan were just so-so was huge for him.

DH and I were able to sneak away for dinner with friends last weekend, and it was really nice. We have been friends with this couple since we were newlyweds and they were about to get married. We have been there for each other through everything life brings over the past 15 years, and we just feel so at home with them. Finding time to go out with them (we have six kids between us) is very hard between DH's schedule and the other guy (he owns a True Value store and works every Saturday), so when we do get together, we really cherish the time.

My Dad called last week and announced that he would be up from FL starting either today or tomorrow and would stay about 10 days. Okaaaay. This is always how it is with him, and he really isn't a difficult guest to have, but it is a LOOONG visit. (Although not as long as some here have to put up with , I know!) It just reminds me WHY we are building a house with a dedicated guest room. This trip will be the first time my Dad has seen little Owen, and I know he is looking forward to meeting his new grandson. Isn't it weird that a father of 5 girls and 1 boy now has 4 grandsons, without a girl in sight?

On the house front.....we had several interior rooms (the entire upstairs, stairway, and the two kids' bedrooms downstairs) painted last week in the midst of the end-of-the-year madness. As Joel and his friends enjoyed the beginning of their sleepover (to celebrate Joel's birthday) Friday night, DH and I were killing ourselves moving furniture back into place so there would be room for them to spread out their sleeping bags when it was time to go to bed. Thank God I bought enough new DVDs to keep the boys happy while we got everything back into place! I think our current house will be on the market by the end of the month, which quite honestly freaks me out, but I am really trying to be very detached from it all and just go with the flow. DH is able to do this in almost everything (not his job) which is probably why he is able to deal with the stresses of his job. I tend to want to "handle" everything (also probably why DH can deal with his job ) and get totally stressed out. So this time, I am taking a page from his book. We'll see how it goes!

[mommax3]

Re: What do you do all day?

Day #5 of my Dad's visit, and things are going fairly well. Our decision to build a dedicated guest room in our house has been confirmed, though, since my Dad has informed me that he will be back July 2nd through the 9th or 10th. He really is a pretty easy houseguest and tries to help in any way he can. It is just difficult to have an extra person in your house for that long, especially when it involves re-shuffling the living arrangements of my kids.

The highlight of the visit (so far) has been the dvd he brought of a gig he played with none other than Mr. Lucky (respelendent in teal sansabelts) and also with my high school music theory teacher (now retired) who was down in FL visiting my Dad and sat in with "the band". I am happy that my Dad has something to do that he enjoys so much. I think my half-brother is following in his footsteps. He is almost 25 and is in South Korea with the Army.....he's in the band. He doesn't keep in touch well at all, especially since his parents divorced (which is when he volunteered to go to South Korea ) so I keep up with him via his facebook page. It is full of images of him performing, and apparently the latest gimmick is that he has been impersonating Elvis, singing all the predictable tunes, with the band as back-up. I have seen the pictures, and they are impressive and a little frightening. Seriously, they make me laugh my head off. Keep in mind that my brother is 6'5 and many of the photos I see on his facebook page are of him in full costume with Koreans after the show. Hysterical. In his words, this is what he does "I play and sing music... and act like a big funny clown... Koreans seem to dig it." Indeed they do, from what I can tell. I wish he would put a clip on you tube. Who knows what I would be doing now if I had grown up with my Dad and been exposed to the fullest extent to the performance gene?

On a completely different subject.....our kids are driving us NUTS! Bicker, bicker, bicker, whine, whine, whine......AAAAHHHHHH! DH lost it yesterday morning when Luke and Joel started fighting over the Sunday comics during breakfast. He grabbed the comics away from them, knocking Joel's cereal bowl off the table in the process. He then proceeded to rip the comics into shreds very dramatically before throwing them away. (and he made Luke and Joel clean up the cereal!) All of that is so unlike my husband that it made me realize we need to find a different plan for the rest of the summer. We're working on it.

Right now, I am waiting for my cleaning lady to arrive (with an amount of anticipation many would say is inappropriate. ). She was sick the last time she was supposed to come (May 27) so the house is really looking neglected. I don't know for sure what time she usually gets here, since up until now I have always been at work on the days she comes. We are meeting with a realtor here at the house later today, so I am really hoping she shows up. We need her more than she needs us, I know.

We also are meeting with our builder this afternoon to go over some of the tweaks that we feel need to be made to the plan. I don't think any of them will be a big deal. When I told my mom we were going back (I've shown her the plan and she seemed to like it) she said (in a knowing, snotty voice) "Oh, you need to cut some stuff out, right?" WTH? I just told her we weren't at that point yet, which is true, but it pissed me off. The house we are building isn't showy, and if you have been reading my blog, you know I am dealing with some "guilt" for having the life we do, even though DH and I work hard for it. I don't know why she chose to be so bitchy.

In less than two weeks, DH and I will be in Oregon! I will get to meet Nellie, and DH and I will have a chance to have conversations without being interrupted......all kinds of conversations! I can't wait!

[mommax3]

Re: What do you do all day?

Okay.....I *think* I am ready to go on this trip. Mommy guilt has reared its ugly head, though. I took the boys up to my mom's this morning. She will have all three of them until she takes Luke and Joel to camp on Sunday, and then she will have Nathan until a week from today. When I got ready to leave my Mom's, Nathan locked his arms around my waist and wouldn't let go. He was laughing and pretending it was a game, but I knew he was nervous about me leaving because of things he has said over the past couple of weeks. My mom has a co-worker that has a son Nathan's age, so they are planning to get the two boys together over the next week and go to the park, etc. I told Nathan about that, thinking he would be excited to have someone new to play with, and somehow he got the idea that he would be staying with this kid. :huh: He also thought that when my mom took the older two to camp (about a 2 hour drive each way) he would be staying *by himself* at my mom's house. Again, :huh: . I managed to straighten him out about those two things, but then last night he asked me if I was going to bring Grandma medicine to help him if he gets homesick. So I knew he was having some anxiety. Anyway, he wouldn't let go of me this morning, so I asked him if he wanted to walk me to the car. He said okay, but he still wouldn't let go of me. When I got out there, I asked him if he was nervous about anything in particular that he wanted to talk about. He was smiling, but his lips started to quiver, and I just lost it. I hugged him and told him he would have a great time with Grandma and that he could call me any time he wanted. He was trying *SO HARD* to suck it up, and finally my mom teared up, too. What a mess.....but so funny on another level because generally my mom, sisters, and I are pretty stoic. I am sure we'll laugh about it later. He walked back in the house with my mom and I drove away, crying, of course. My mom called about an hour later to tell me he was fine and ask if I was okay. It made me feel better to know that he was over it. It is so funny, though.....I have left him about once a year for a week or so (with grandmas) ever since he can remember. I don't know why it is bothering him so much this time. I always used to get so homesick when I would go away from my mom, so unfortunately, I can identify with him all too well.

Joel is trying camp for the second time....his first experience was not so good (homesickness....but only at night) so he laid out a year before trying again this year. I hope he has a great time and good weather.....it rained the whole time he was at camp the first time he went, and I am sure that had something to do with his feelings about it. Luke is going to the same camp as Joel, but since he is older, he is able to do more of a "wilderness" experience, and he is all over it. Luke LOVES camp. When we get there for closing ceremonies each year, he doesn't even come talk to us, and he almost cries because he is *leaving*!

Anyway, think good thoughts for my boys this week! I am sure Travis and I will survive.....we can comfort each other, after all. I can't wait to meet Nellie tomorrow, and will try to remember to take a picture! ETA: Travis just got home and said he is curious to see if Nellie is real or if she is a lonely old man living in a "van down by the river".

[mommax3]

Re: What do you do all day?

So we are all back home. I have to admit that Nathan was not the only homesick one in the family.....I was really ready to see my boys and my cats! Travis and I had a great time on our trip....such *beautiful* scenery, unlike anything we had ever seen before. We took quite a few pictures. Travis especially loved the tide pools and the starfish that you could see when the tide was out. I enjoyed the town of Astoria the most, which is kind of weird because it is probably the least touristy place we visited, but I loved the way it looked.....lots of old Victorian homes built into the sides of huge hills. We also crossed into Washington State, just to say we had been there and stopped at Ft. Columbia State Park, an old military installation that was literally built into the side of a mountain. It was really interesting! We both enjoyed the fantastic views of the ocean along Hwy 101 up and down the coast.....so wild and undeveloped compared with most of the shorelines we have seen.

Our hotel.....WOW. If you ever have some extra $$$$ and want to stay somewhere very comfortable and relaxing, with awesome views and food, check this place out. http://www.stephanie-inn.com Incredible. We have absolutely nothing bad to say about the place, and if we ever have the chance, we will go back. The breakfasts were so good! I only wish I could eat like that every morning. We ate dinner there one night too (we had to set it up when we made our reservations, way before our trip) and it was excellent as well. We got room service twice for dinner, and they had a curried corn soup one night that I am going to try to duplicate.

We drove back to Portland on Wednesday and visited the International Rose Test Garden (beautiful) and the Japanese Garden (also beautiful and very peaceful). All in all, we enjoyed our trip, but the time change was hard on us, in both directions. We also both remarked on feeling a little claustrophobic at times, as if the mountains were closing in on us! We are definitely midwesterners at heart. We started to miss our "climate", too, but by the time that kicked in, we were about to head home. It was definitely a trip to remember, and meeting Nellie and her family was the icing on the cake!

We got back Thursday evening (after running through the airport in Denver to make our connecting flight.....I am still recovering!) and had *the* meeting with our builder on Friday morning. We got our bid, and......it was under what we want to spend! (Only by about 4K, but hey, we'll take it!) This is getting really long, but some highlights.....the builder is not comfortable doing a walk-out basement, which was a bummer, but he will do some very nice egress windows down there instead, so I am fine with that.....if the boys are going to sleep down there, it will be less easy for them to sneak out when they are teen-agers! Also, we had thought about doing a pool at the same time we build, but we have decided not to, in part because of the cost, and in part because the city pool/waterpark is less than a mile from our house, with sidewalks in place all the way. Also, in Indiana, you don't really get to use a pool for that long considering what they cost. We are fine with that decision! The cabinet guy did his bid as though we are having custom cabinets everywhere in the house (ummmm, NO) so I need to go back there and hash that out. There are a couple of things with the windows that need to be tweaked, but nothing major. We went out today and picked our appliances (which were nothing exciting in the bid, and we knew right away we would bump them up). We are getting GE Profile appliances in the kitchen, with regular GE stuff in the basement kitchenette. They showed us an induction cooktop, and we decided to get it. It is so cool....it boils water in less than a minute, without heating up the pan or the burner like a conventional cooktop would. I can't explain the science behind it, but it will sure come in handy when I want to make a bunch of pasta! DH also wants to investigate geo-thermal heating, which is more expensive to put in but apparently saves a lot of money in heating/cooling costs. We are hoping that the price of that will be off-set by the savings we will get on cabinets once I get that adjusted. And finally.....DH is fine with not listing our current house until the first of the year! I can't even express how relieved I am about that!

So life is good. DH goes back to work on Monday and is on call pretty much solid for the next 10 days, because his partner will be on vacation. My dad arrives Tuesday for another 10 day stay. I have to get a filling on Tuesday, too. My sisters will be visiting the weekend after the fourth, and it will be great to see them. The boys survived their time at camp/grandma's without any trauma, and I think everyone is glad to be home.....our dog and cats were happy to see us, too!

[mommax3]

Re: What do you do all day?

Well, Nathan got very lucky today. We were over at a friend's house....a lady I know hosts "sewing mornings" once a week during the summer, and several women I know go. All the kids (10 of them) were playing in the back yard, and apparently one of the boys (not mine) was throwing around a piece of wood (heavy, like what you would use to replace boards on your deck) and decided to throw it at (over?) the roof of a playhouse in the back yard. It glanced off the roof and fell straight on to Nathan, hitting him just under the EYE! When I got to him, there were four eyelashes embedded in the higher cut, standing straight up. I thought they were splinters at first, then realized they were eyelashes. I guess he got his eye closed just in time. The wound closest to his eye was turning into a huge hematoma and his eye was almost swollen shut by the time I got him inside. When I pressed a paper towel against it, though, the blood seeped out and the swelling went down. We went into the office and DH's partner (who is still a board certified FP as well as an OB) did the whole nine yards and looked in his ear and nose as well as at his eye to make sure there wasn't any other damage. The board weighs probably 7 pounds and from what I can figure, the short end must have hit him. I am really counting my blessings that it wasn't worse. Here is a picture of my little guy, who is doing pretty well now and milking this for all it is worth. We are going to give him some antibiotics in case the scratch on his lower eyelid is deeper than we think.

[mommax3]

Re: What do you do all day?

Well, here I sit again, ALONE. DH is working the 5th of 6 in-house shifts he signed up for this month. I have HAD IT with the in-house shifts. He signed up for them originally because he wanted to cover his ass in case taking two weeks of vacation this summer ate into the bottom line too much.....the pay from the in-house stuff would provide a cushion. I can see the reason in that, but I also know that things are going well and he and his partner just took a chunk of money out of their cost center (they try to keep a certain amount in there and when it builds up beyond that, they take a "bonus").....couldn't he have used *that* for a cushion? He worked in-house on the 9th, the 16th, tonight, and is doing another one Sunday night. (He did a couple the week of the 4th, too.) So no wonder I am fed up. He promises that he will go back to only 3 or 4 a month starting in August, but I still think that is too many.

I took the kids to a local waterpark today. We have been before and they always stated that children under 8 needed to be within arms reach of a parent at all times. Well, now they have instituted a policy that children under 8 have to wear a wrist band and the parent has to have one, too. SO, Nathan (who is as tall as nine and ten year olds, I kid you not.....God help us when he hits adolesence) wore his wrist band and I sent him off with his brothers and sat (like the deadbeat mom I am) in a lawn chair. I know he can swim just fine and they have a bajillion lifeguards pacing back and forth all over the freaking pool. But I felt guilty the whole time and couldn't relax.....I kept trying to catch glimpses of the boys. Anyway, there were no catastrophes, no one ratted me out, and we left after about 3 hours. They had a great time. Next summer, I won't tell them he is under 8 (he will turn 8 next September) and I know they will never think he is.....stupid me told them today when they said "all your kids are over 8, right?" after looking them over.

We will be heading to FL a week from tomorrow for a week with DH's family, to the Destin area. I love his family very much and I am looking forward to getting a baby/toddler fix, since there will be five kids that are 4 and below there. One of DH's brothers is bringing a couple of sitters, too, so there will be plenty of hands on deck to take care of the little ones. I am stressing about my weight, though. I am heavier than both of my sils and my mil, too. To be fair to myself, I am also taller and just.....bigger than they are, but it makes me feel very insecure. I know I am driving DH nuts with it, and frankly, I am driving myself nuts as well. I gained 10 pounds between February and the end of school, and it is maddening. I have been putting time in on the elliptical machine when I get up the morning, but the scale hasn't budged so far. I remember last year that I lost about 10 pounds as soon as school started, so I am hoping for the same thing again, but I just wish I were skinnier for this trip! I am sure my ils won't even notice my weight or give it a second thought, but it is BUGGING ME! I wish I didn't like to eat so much!

I can almost feel the summer slipping through my fingers. I know that the start of school is inevitable, but I dread the return to the regimented schedule it seems like we keep during the school year. I have added another class period to my schedule at school.....I will teach four periods and they will pay me for a prep (spent IN the building) too, which means I am 5/7 time. I am not sure how I feel about that, although it will mean smaller class sizes, which will be nice. We will have a new principal this year, and he seems like a nice guy, but there is some uncertainty associated with that. He invited each of us to meet with him informally before school starts, so I am going in next week. We will be moving into a new school building sometime during the course of this school year, too, so that is another unknown. Should be interesting! So we have next week, then a week in FL, then one more week and I start back to school on the 11th which is also our 18th anniversary. The boys don't start until the 18th.

We meet with our builder again on Monday afternoon (DH is off) to sign off on the bid, and will take it to the bank to start the loan process on Friday morning. I think we will have quite a few more selections to make after we accept the bid, but I *hope* the hardest things are behind us. I am looking forward to getting all that done and then letting the builder go to it while I direct my attention toward school. Maybe I will even be surprised by how fast it goes.....here's hoping! I want to get over to our lot and take a picture before they break ground, and then take periodic pictures after that. I had better get going on that!