what led you to have children WHEN you did?

[Auspicious]

However, how many years of this is normal? It's so much fun!

The $64K question.

I will add that, for me, "knowing" to have kids and when to have kids involved very similar feelings to "knowing" whom to marry and when to marry him. (And I liked being single just as I've liked not having kids.) There were external factors and responsibilities involved, but there was also a certain way that it just came to "feel right" and a tipping point where making the change seemed more exciting than continuing as I was.

[alison]

Well, I'm obviously not ready for kids. See my thread on old eggs.

I never thought about it that way, Julie... I, um, WAS NOT ready to get married when we did. We had to do it. It was the right guy, but the fiance visa in this country is set up such that you have to get married within 90 days of the applicant's (in this case my dh) entry into the US. (The applicant has to apply from outside the country.)

[Sheherezade]

Well, Alison, we did the waiting phase after marriage for seven years. Even when I got pregnant, it was earlier than expected -- we'd planned another year sans kids. So, I think you get a lot more than 2 years to enjoy your unentangled life.


Of course, it helps that I was a child bride by most standards. :>

[alison]

Of course, it helps that I was a child bride by most standards. :>

We've been married for 2.5 years (and we're both 29) but I still haven't felt that "baby itch." I do very much want to be a mom someday--but I just don't think I'll be ready in the next 1-2 years. Maybe I'll feel more ready at 32-33. Because we just want 1 or 2 kids I feel comfortable waiting until we're in our early 30's. I don't see anything wrong with having one's first child in one's mid to late 30's if there aren't any fertility issues that would dictate trying to start earlier.

I never did any babysitting as a teenager and I was really never around babies or young children in general as a kid/teen. As an only child, I don't have any siblings with kids nor do I have any friends with kids so I am pretty much never around babies or young children and that may be part of the reason why I haven't ever had the "baby itch." My parents never ask about when we're having kids, so I don't feel any "pressure" from the outside world. And I'm really enjoying our "honeymoon phase" now that DH is an attending, because we got married right after DH's first year of residency and didn't see each other much until this past July when residency was over.

It's interesting because I felt truly ready to get married when we did. We got engaged when we were both 26 and married at 27. I just didn't feel ready until around 26, and then at age 26 I was 100% ready and eager to get married. So I'm wondering if the same will be true--feeling absolutely "ready" to have kids.

DH and I have decided that age 35 would be a good age to start trying. We are both the same age. He will have just finished residency, and we will have been married 9 years, and together for 18 years- so I guess we will know each other pretty well at that point. The only stickler is that I am hoping to go to law school at that time - oh well, we will just have to stick to a tight budget to afford decent nannies. C'est la vie, right?

Got married at 18 and 19, we had a 10 year plan, to get past residency. LOL DS came when I was 21 and right before DH took the MCAT! In med school I knew I wanted another bad, and that I didn't want them to be far apart, as I need to go back to school. DD came when I was 25, and while we thought we were done, a horrible pregnancy that came with bedrest at 28 weeks, 8 weeks of horrible horrible bedrest, and then the something like 20 visits to L&D (truly I stopped counting after the 4th week of constantly going in), a 24 hr nursing service via phone, a terb pump with me at my every waking moment that I had stab into my leg every three days plus all the other drugs I was on, constant fear that DD would come to soon, we decided indeed we were done. It's amazing my first pregnancy was picture perfect, except I gained to much, The second was horrible, but thankfully not as bad as some other women's experiances. Nature really sometimes decides for you, but we are happy with how it all worked out.