Kids say...

[Flynn]

DD#2

Outside this morning:

"Mom, I can't see the houses, a bird pooped."

What do you mean?

"I mean a bird pooped all over the place and I can't see the houses."

Honey, that is fog.

"Oh".

[Momo]

OK so DS has been surprising me lately ...

Last night when we walked into his room, I flipped on the light. DS,with his hands on his hips said "look at this room it's a pigsty!"* he said his sister dumped out all his toys looking for one of her stinking ponies! Gee he finally had a parent moment...frustrated w/ the mess a kid had made! Welcome to my world buddy!


This AM after rolling out of bed he comes down and says "I am down in the dumps today" even though it sounded funny coming out of him, I was concerned so I got down on my knees so I could look him in the eyes when I asked: "Why do you say this?"
to which he replied "I didn't sleep well last night so I am tired and grumpy , is that alright w/ you?!" *


*I have said these in the past

DD is selling raffle tickets for her school. One of the causes?

"And my mom really wants me to get rid of all of these."

I missed that Nellie. I'l TOTALLY buy a raffle ticket from her. It's such a good cause!

The sun was setting as we ate dinner on the patio.

Quinn: Why is the sun going down?
Mom (this is my pat, smart-aleck answer I've been using for 4 years now): Because the earth has continued rotating on it's access, and our side is turning away from the sun.
Quinn: What are you? An "expert"? (using air quotes - I kid you not. We have NO idea where the kid learned air quotes)

DH and I nearly peed our pants.

And not to leave Jacob out ...

After bath the boys were dressing themselves. Jacob put on his boxers, and noticed the ... "access" in the front. He asked what it was for, and I said it was so he could go potty w/o taking down his underwear. His eyes lit up and he said "Cool! So I can pull my penis out through this?"

What are you? An "expert"?

:>

Crack me up about the boxers. That will keep them busy for hours!

[Phoebe]

Driving on highway my 3.5 year old said, "Are we on the hallway?"

I had DH's wedding ring worked on for our anniversary and after being out-of-town the past couple days while DH worked, DD#2 walks in the house and tells DH we got you a new ring, but we can't tell you.

Dh bought the girls a Webkinz while we were out-of-town and DD#2 didn't get the one she wanted, so she told DH, "Thanks for the not unicorn".

Jenn, I would have loved to see the air quotes. Classic.

[DCJenn]

The other day it was approaching bath time and I asked Nikolai what he wanted to do- take a shower or a bath. He turns to me and says, "I need to take a bath because I need to Fresh Down."

Took me forever to realize that he meant "Freshen Up."

Jenn

[rainbabies]

dd#1 is just a different type of child. i have never met any other kid like her. i can't even describe her.

right now she is into colors.....

(while paiting her toe nails)

"oooohhh mommy, this is red....red is sooooo fun" (with a high pitched squeel)


(while putting her head band on)

"ooooohhhh mommy, this one is not brown, it's chocolate"



and the mommy of the year award goes to me

me to dh on the way out the door:


"their shit is in the hallway" translation: one pull-up, two diapers and three t-shirts for after baths.

dd sitting at dinner table shreaks out in her high pitched squeel, "their shit is in the hallway????"

i though dh and i were going to pee our pants. i guess i really have to start watching it now...more than ever.

DD2 - she's almost 3 - noticed it was getting dark and asked me where the sun goes when it gets dark. I asked her where she thinks it goes (pump that imagination!), and she said, "Kroger!"

[Vanquisher]

Don't you love when your kids throw your words back in your face?

This morning I was feeling frustrated for a number of reasons. I was picking up DD's room, and I said something along the lines of, "Ugh. I can't believe what a mess this room is! Lexi, why can't you keep this clean?" It was indeed, a very grumpy voice.

DS (9) said, "Mom, she's only 3."

Thanks, buddy.

[GrayMatterWife]

Things my almost-three year old son has said (in the past month):

--My parent were in town and staying at a hotel across the street from the hospital. Our son was over there for the night (my folks were giving DH and me a night off). So my DH, who hadn't seen DS in two days, swung by the hotel to say good-night before walking home. As he left visiting my folks and DS, DS asked where he was going. My mom said, "He's going to see Mommy." DS: "Oh, going to Mommy's house?" My mom: "It's your daddy's house, too!" DS: "No, Mommy live at Mommy's house; Daddy lives at hospital." There was no convincing him otherwise...

--So a couple of months ago, I bought DS a fairly large desktop clock for his room. He really likes it. A couple of weeks ago, we're at Target. We happen to walk though the aisle that contains picture frames and decorative clocks. DS announces very loudly--and demonstrating his failure to completely master English phoenetics: "Mommy got a big cock! Really big cock! Mommy likes big cocks!" People were STARING.

[Phoebe]

One of our old couches has a slipcover which I just added. DD#2 asked if we could open it and show daddy the surprise. She thought it was wrapped.

[Phoebe]

My 5.5 year old said, "Mom, I ate all my apples and two pieces of diahrea" She meant quesadilla.

[MDPhDWife]

DD#2 (she's 3) was recently having nightmares about monkeys chasing her and her friends. DH would comfort her before bedtime and tell her that monkey's aren't coming since they live in the jungles and zoos. He also reassured her that even if the monkey's did come, since Papa takes Tae KwonDo he would make sure they don't chase her. There hasn't been much of a problem since.

One night DH came home from Tae KwonDo and asked her if she knew anyone who does TKD. She said "of course, you do Papa!" So he says what do you think I do at TKD? She then says "you kick, punch, and spank the monkey!" :funnycry: