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inner biases you hope don't rub off on your kids

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  • inner biases you hope don't rub off on your kids

    I think we all believe that kids should find some groups or activities where they are sucessful and really have fun participating -- not necessarily in that order.

    Obviously as a parent we should support the child in trying new things even if we think it's silly assuming it's appropriate.

    I would love it if my children really had a passion for:
    school
    literature/reading
    athletics
    playing an instrument
    being a good friend/person
    challenging themselves on a regular basis

    What do you hope your child doesn't like or feel the need to try? (no offense intended here)

    Cheerleading (more for DD than DS of course) Okay, I've said it.
    Flynn

    Wife to post training CT surgeon; mother of three kids ages 17, 15, and 11.

    “It is our choices, Harry, that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.” —Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets " Albus Dumbledore

  • #2
    I despise cheerleading... It's pretty big here out in the burbs for little ones (as in, I think there's a category for girls under 10 years old!). That's right up your alley, no?
    married to an anesthesia attending

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    • #3
      I second your list Flynn except that I don't have a problem with cheerleading. Today competitive cheerleading is as much a sport as some others IMO. I was a cheerleader for 3 years in high school and while there are definitely parts of it that aren't compelling the friendships I made and the places I got to go because of it were invaluable. Yes, I hope my kids will play sports maybe instead of cheerleading but I'd rather they do that then sit on the sidelines.

      I wish for them to love to read, learn an instrument (wish I had), be inquisitive, be all around "good kids", play sports and be successful at whatever they choose to do with their life.
      Wife to NSG out of training, mom to 2, 10 & 8, and a beagle with wings.

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      • #4
        I would have to second Flynn's ideas.

        This is so an issue in our house right now! DH and I love being active and tried many activities growing up. We are trying to do the same for our kids by exposing them to different activities and letting them decide what they like. DD chose soccer for a second season, but has been showing a lackluster effort. DH and I are having a hard time with her slacking, eventhough she says she loves soccer. Dragging my three kids and their "stuff" the field to watch grass picking and catching raindrops on her tongue is frustrating!

        I secretly hoping for no cheerleaders, but as long as they try their best in whatever they choose I will support it.

        Jennifer
        Needs

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        • #5
          Originally posted by Phoebe

          I secretly hoping for no cheerleaders, but as long as they try their best in whatever they choose I will support it.

          Jennifer

          I really WANT to feel this way. Our kids are so young we aren't "there" yet for picking activities.


          I have a negetive thing for tight sweaters, short skirts and bouncing for the sake of (cheerleading) HOWEVER, DH has reminded me lately that the volleyball uniforms aren't much better. He's right. We "bounced" for a purpose though...
          Flynn

          Wife to post training CT surgeon; mother of three kids ages 17, 15, and 11.

          “It is our choices, Harry, that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.” —Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets " Albus Dumbledore

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          • #6
            The volleyball uniforms these days are bad - I'm not sure I would have been comfortable wearing those in high school. You probably wore them when you were in college Flynn but those super tight shorts can't help most high school girls' self esteem.

            ETA: I will admit most cheerleading uniforms have also gotten tighter/shorter since I was in high school.
            Wife to NSG out of training, mom to 2, 10 & 8, and a beagle with wings.

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            • #7
              i dont know if this is what you mean....but...i DONT want our kids to be as "closed minded" as dh is.

              he has come a long way since i met him...but he still has a ways to go. i want our kids to love and respect everyone.

              (i love the bubble i live in )
              ~shacked up with an ob/gyn~

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              • #8
                Hmmm.... What do I hope my child doesn't like regarding groups or group activities?

                For the most part I'm OK with whatever skill or talent any of my kids end up having or acquiring. The only things I am requiring all of them to learn or do are just basics: piano, Latin, debate (not until age 12), and swimming. But, outside of those I don't care what instrument(s), sport(s), or other activities they decide to be interested in.

                As long as they do their best at what they choose to do and it improves their lives it's all good! Now, if an activity threatened to take over one of my children's lives and started impinging on other important aspects of life (family time, academics, etc.) then I would have to put the kabash on it.
                Who uses a machete to cut through red tape
                With fingernails that shine like justice
                And a voice that is dark like tinted glass

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                • #9
                  Originally posted by Tabula Rasa

                  As long as they do their best at what they choose to do and it improves their lives it's all good!
                  I agree.

                  I'd like them to play an instrument but I won't force it. Bryn plays violin now and Anna says she wants to play piano. Since she is three, I'm sure that will change over the next few years. As long as it is not drums. I think swimming is an important safety skill and a great way to exercise. I want them to find a sport or activity like that which provides them with stress release or way to get exercise that doesn't feel like work.
                  Whatever it is fine with me. I hope they continue to enjoy reading and school.

                  Otherwise, I hope they have common sense, coping skills, and a general respect for themselves and other people. Sometimes that is hard enough as it is! If they've got that, they'll do ok.

                  The only thing I really wish they don't show an interest in? Snakes. I am phobic of snakes. So far I have done a good job of feigning interest and not showing fear but Lord help me if they want to become reptilologists or something.

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                  • #10
                    Things he needs to know how to do:

                    Swim, throw a football, catch a baseball and dribble a basketball.
                    Speak at least one other language
                    At least attempt to learn to play an instrument. I hated piano but it was ultimately a valuable experience.
                    participate in some kind of extracurricular activity- I don't care if it's sports, chess club, debate club or whatever. and heck, if he wants to be a cheerleader, there are so few males that there are scholarships available.

                    He also needs to know how to play poker, how to pour a glass of wine, how to clean his bathroom and how to do laundry.

                    J.

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                    • #11
                      Originally posted by DCJenn

                      He also needs to know how to play poker, how to pour a glass of wine, how to clean his bathroom and how to do laundry.
                      And write a thank you note and roast a chicken.

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                      • #12
                        I want my kids to grow up to be happy, healthy, and successful. I admit that I would prefer if neither of them went into professions where it would be hard to make a decent living. I grew up on food stamps with hand-me down clothes (and I was the oldest), and I don't want that kind of a hard life for my children. I want them to find love and for their loves to be good people. They are both expected to go to college, at least.

                        I want my son to be a gentleman and a full participant as a husband and father. I want him to be a man like his father is, kind, well-loved and liked by all. I want him to be able to do the dishes and the laundry and to cook a nice meal.

                        I want my daughter to be independent and capable of supporting herself. I want her to be kind but also to be able to say no. I want her to love who she is and not struggle so much with her self image or body image. I want her to be able to throw a ball and shoot a basket without looking "like a girl."

                        I want both children to be athletic, well-rounded, and I want at least one of them to ballroom dance.

                        I would be horrified if either of them became religious, decided to go to BYU, smoked, did drugs, or got into bad sexual situations.

                        I would hate it if they were mean (as in popular and mean), materialistic, or fashion obsessed. That's right!!

                        I would hate it if they were vegeterians or socially conservative. I would hate it if they did not have compassion, believe in a woman's right to choose, and health care rights. I would have a heart attack if they started to like hunting, fishing, or other redneck activities that made them in anyway more like my IL's.
                        Heidi, PA-S1 - wife to an orthopaedic surgeon, mom to Ryan, 17, and Alexia, 11.


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                        • #13
                          I would have a heart attack if they started to like hunting, fishing, or other redneck activities that made them in anyway more like my IL's.
                          I would be horrified if either of them became religious, decided to go to BYU,
                          i know you probably dont mean for these to be funny, but they are to me.(but in a good way)

                          am i gonna wish my foot was planted in my mouth for this one?
                          ~shacked up with an ob/gyn~

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                          • #14
                            Originally posted by Vanquisher
                            I would hate it if they were vegeterians
                            I'm curious about this one...would you mind explaining why?
                            Sandy
                            Wife of EM Attending, Web Programmer, mom to one older lady scaredy-cat and one sweet-but-dumb younger boy kitty

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                            • #15
                              OMG that made me laugh! :rah: :rah:
                              Wife of Ophthalmologist and Mom to my daughter and two boys.

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