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Baby-making Assumptions

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  • Baby-making Assumptions

    So I finally went to the OB/GYN the other day to talk to her about my IUD, which has been a lovely little piece of torture ever since I had it put in 8 months ago. I spot, every day. I thought I was going to go insane if I had to wear one more panty liner. As I am telling her that I want it removed she tells me that she’ll do it but “residents really don’t make any money so you clearly don’t want a baby yet” as a transition to discuss other forms of birth control.
    Is this rude, judgmental and assumptive or am I over-reacting?
    She gave me a prescription for a progesterone only pill (I have migraine with aura and have limited BC options) and proceeded to tell me to “go home and tell my husband I had a headache for a month” until the pill would become effective. Really? Is it 1950?
    The whole thing really bothered me, and I am hoping that my irritation is justified and I am not just being overly sensitive...

  • #2
    That was totally unprofessional!
    Wife to PGY5. Mommy to baby girl born 11/2009. Cat mommy since 2002
    "“If you don't know where you are going any road can take you there”"

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    • #3
      If this is true, then I'd look for a new GYN. How incredibly inappropriate! How DARE she project her own weird fears about conception and birth/finances during residency on you.
      And whether or not she was joking, that was uncalled for.
      Suggesting that you LIE to your husband? Also a no-no in my book.

      New GYN. Now.
      *raging hormonal rant over*
      Wife to Family Medicine attending, Mom to DS1 and DS2
      Professional Relocation Specialist &
      "The Official IMSN Enabler"

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      • #4
        Definitely crossing the line.

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        • #5
          MAJORLY crosses the line IMO. I would be looking for a new dr if thst would have happened to me

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          • #6
            I think that sometimes doctors cross lines when treating other doctors and their families. Not that I'm justifying it but she probably felt like she could be more candid with you or that you were more likely to share her opinions because your husband is a resident.
            Wife and #1 Fan of Attending Adult & Geriatric Psychiatrist.

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            • #7
              Wow. Just...wow.
              -Ladybug

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              • #8
                That reminds me of the time I got my first (and only) speeding ticket. I was sixteen and in tears and the cop told me I could mail off the ticket and pay it and just not tell my parents. Even as a 16 year old I knew that was really crossing the line to be giving a kid a ticket for breaking the law and then telling them to lie to your parents. When any professional tells you to lie to your family, its just wrong. If you had been making those joking comments to her, it would have been one thing, but for her to say that with out you starting that line of though is just unprofessional.
                -L.Jane

                Wife to a wonderful General Surgeon
                Mom to a sweet but stubborn boy born April 2014
                Rock Chalk Jayhawk GO KU!!!

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                • #9
                  Okay, glad to know I'm not crazy. I just couldn't believe she was actually saying those things to me, and I am pretty sure she wasn't joking. And the idea that I would need to LIE to my husband about anything was bizarre (okay maybe I don't always come clean about how much I spend on shoes.) I was frustrated because it pretty much shut down all conversation in terms of pre-conception health. I finally asked her about what to do if we DID want to have a baby any time in the near future, just to see what she would say. It wasn't much.

                  I left thinking that I would be miserable having her help me through a pregnancy, whenever we decide to get pregnant. I wanted to point out to her that many, many other people have had babies during residency and managed it, and that my husband will be a resident for 5.5 more years so we will at some point be having a baby during residency. I will be sure to find another doc before we do.

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                  • #10
                    Uhhhhh. Wow. People never cease to amaze me with their rude and stupid comments. Seriously, I wouldn't ever go back to her just because I find that so offensive. Clearly, she has issues about having put off having children to become an ob/gyn and she's putting it all on you. Get rid of her. Man!

                    Kris
                    ~Mom of 5, married to an ID doc
                    ~A Rolling Stone Gathers No Moss

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                    • #11
                      Rude, unprofessional, and obnoxious. She clearly has issues. Do not go back to her, there are plenty of OB/GYN fish in the sea
                      Tara
                      Married 20 years to MD/PhD in year 3 of MFM fellowship. SAHM to five wonderful children (#6 due in August), a sweet GSD named Bella, a black lab named Toby, and 1 guinea pig.

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                      • #12
                        Wow, that was really rude and unprofessional behavior. I'm sorry she made you feel uncomfortable. And if you are not comfortable now with her as your gyn, then it won't be any better when you do get pregnant. Time to go gyn shopping!
                        Last edited by scarlett09; 11-09-2010, 05:44 PM. Reason: can't spell
                        Event coordinator, wife and therapist to a peds attending

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                        • #13
                          I think everyone else has already hit the nail on the head. Time for a new doc!
                          Wife to NSG out of training, mom to 2, 10 & 8, and a beagle with wings.

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                          • #14
                            I wanted to point out that she was NOT one of the doctors recommended to me by my fellow IMSNers when I put out feelers for good Ob/gyns in Albuquerque a few months ago. This time around I will use those suggestions!!

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                            • #15
                              Switch OB/Gyn.

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