How much is too much?

[PrincessFiona]

I know we've discussed children's activities before...but I just read an article in a parenting magazine about overscheduling our chidren and it has left me concerned about how we are doing things.

Andrew and Amanda are in boyscouts/girlscouts and I did promise Amanda she could take ballet this year (if I can get organized and sign her up). Alex is just in preschool.

But...we just signed them up for Saturday School...it is at an institute with a German curriculum that goes on a semester system and will keep them up with language in terms of reading/writing, etc. The preschool class plays games/sings songs, etc...and then Andrew and Amanda's class will focus more on learning vocabulary (they have comprehension skills...just can't speak very well) and becoming more fluent. Once the kids become more fluent they can go into a more school-like curriculum.....

It's only once a week and I feel like it is important since they are german and half of their family is german. When Thomas was in residency/fellowship he was gone so much that when he talked with them, he just spoke english because it was easier. I only spoke english with them as well because I didn't want to instill bad grammar etc....but now they have...no grammar. I tried working with them on my own, but I'm just not an elementary school teacher. I don't have what it takes to work with them in a fun way I feel horrible admitting that...but I don't know how elementary school teachers do it!!!!! We just all ended up frustrated.

So...am I overscheduling them? I know Amanda would prefer ballet over german school ("WHAT..I HAVE TO GO TO SCHOOL ON SATURDAY??? THATS MY DAY OF REST!" ) but I feel like the german school is more important right now. We are slowly losing the opportunity for our two oldest to become fluent speakers because of their ages. It's only for 1.5 hours once a week........

kris

[mommax3]

No, I don't think that is too much stuff at all. The Saturday School sounds awesome, but not exactly a kid pleaser, more of something they will thank you for later, like piano lessons...... but I think it is great that they will be in touch with that side of their heritage.

Sally

[PrincessFiona]

piano

Speaking of piano lessons, Sally....errr...not wanting to add another thing to my children's plate. I did take piano for several years (though I'll add here that I completely stink at anything other than 'Mr Frog is Full of Hops' or something along those lines). I was considering tuning up our piano and trying to have a weekly 'lesson' with each of them on my own this year.... Is that a bad idea from the perspective of a piano teacher? I do remember basic techniques, can read music (played cornet and piano) and think I could pass on very basic things anyway...once they got beyond level 1 I'd have to to pass them on to someone with real ability though.

Would this be a bad thing from the perspective of a music teacher...ie teaching children bad habits? Would that be overscheduling them?

kris

[mommax3]

I don't think piano would be overscheduling them, either. It is just a half hour once a week, and then practice, right? I look at it as giving them something else to do with their free time besides watch tv.

I have quite a bit of experience teaching piano and was unable to do very much to teach my oldest.....it was very frustrating and humbling. We are just plain too much alike and would end up yelling at each other. He now takes lessons from a lady in town that has two degrees in piano and is EXTREMELY expensive compared to what I charged.....but she does not let Luke get bored, and he is learning and enjoying the lessons.

I am still toying with the idea of trying to teach Joel myself in a couple of years. He has a much calmer personality.....we'll see.

I think you could pull out some beginner books and just see how much they want to do with it.....to me, the biggest hurdle to overcome is that the kids need to READ the music and not play by rote. That is hard with the songs in the beginner books because they are easy to memorize. Don't ever play the songs for them until they have been playing for several years. They need to learn to figure it out for themselves if they are going to achieve music literacy. I like the Alfred series, if you buy new books. I usually have people get a lesson book and a theory book, and maybe some note flashcards, and leave it at that.

I played Mr. Frog is Full of Hops, too, by the way!

Sally

[PrincessFiona]

I played Mr. Frog is Full of Hops, too, by the way!

That was my very first song when I started piano as a child!! I still have the music for it I love that song.....

kris

[houseelf]

Can I confess the truth here? I mean really come clean about the whole kids in scheduled activities topic without fear of boos and hisses?

Although I give a lot of lip service to leading a simple, care free childhood...blah, blah, blah, my three year old is in three different activities. It started out because we decided to hold him out of preschool for one year so that we could have better access to him if our mornings freed up (which happens all the time with my job and now that Sean is in the lab). So I put him into Saturday morning Spanish preschool. Then Sean decided that he wanted a father and son activity now that he is in the lab so they signed up for Tuesday night skating for their time together. Finally, we are the consumate beach bums in the summer and I absolutely believe that every single human being needs to know how to swim. Now that I have a new part time work schedule, we were free to take Monday morning swim classes.

Exactly how many classes did I take at three? zero. I feel sheepish about telling people this but we are in a position to do this since we only have one child right now. There will be no stone casting from this direction, just a lot of sighs and commiseration over the money and gas that we are spending for our THREE year old. 8O I cringe when I read in "Parents" or "Parenting" that kids are suffering from overscheduling. GUILTY!

Kelly

I can't decide if overscheduling my kids is killing them or ME!!!! If you are wondering what the heck happened to me .... it is my kids! I am so busy racing from one thing to another with them and trying to keep up with my work that I have no time for anything anymore. I haven't seen a tv program in a month or been able to post here. SO ....

When is it too much? Obviously I haven't figured that out yet. Jacob started middle school and is in Boy Scouts, band, taking piano lessons and playing soccer! Zachary is in Cub Scouts, taking piano lessons and playing soccer and then Tyler is also taking piano lessons and has an amazing amount of homework for a 1st grader! I have something every night of the week in addition to trying to help my kids keep up with their school work.

I haven't quite figured out where to cut back. The Boy Scouts has been absolutely wonderful for Jacob. He has gained so much self-confidence and is becoming quite handy too! That and piano are important to me. He chose the trumpet and soccer. I am glad he did but I worry about how much time he has to enjoy being a kid. I was able to rearrange his piano lessons so that he now has Friday after school off. I let him go to a friend's house or do what he wants within reason. That has helped some and I am trying to keep my weekends simpler. We have the soccer games on Saturday and then Sunday we go to church and try to have a quiet, relaxing day to help them regroup for the next week.

I think piano is wonderful for the kids. I just started Tyler and it has been GREAT for him!!! The hard part is keeping up with them practicing every day. With Tyler I have to sit with him to help and it is one more thing for me to do, which is why he probably didn't practice every day last week!

It is a balancing act and one I don't think I am succeeding on at the moment. I am not sure what I would cut out though.... still working on that. The thing is my kids don't want to quit any of the things they are doing either. (Okay occasionally piano is at the bottom of their list! ) I am hoping they will look back and be grateful that they did it one day and not grow up talking to a therapist about how their mom messed up their life by overscheduling them! 8)

Good luck to us all!!!

Robin