Finding out

[WolfpackWife]

Since gender isn't something that can be determined prenatally, that definitely had to wait till after the birth.

I agree, but you know what I meant!

[Bittersweet]

I truthfully have a tough time bonding prenatally and finding out helps me feel more connected. Plus, I'll admit that I also wanted to know for shopping and nursery reasons. Both of my guys' nurseries are modern in design but have a lot of blue.

[mommax3]

We didn't find out the first time, but did the 2nd and 3rd times. We have three boys, and I always hoped to have a girl. I didn't want any feelings of disappointment on my part to cloud the birth day, so we always found out before, and I'm glad we did.

[TulipsAndSunscreen]

But I would say the main reason I don't regret it is that having my husband be the first to "peek", hearing his voice be the one to say "it's a boy" or "it's a girl" with 100% confidence and no mediator interpreting the scan for us...priceless.

This was us. Pretty much the only intelligible thing I said during labor (mostly I was just yelling) was "Just to be clear....(DH's name) is the ONLY person allowed to tell me the sex". He delivered her to my chest and said "it's a girl" and it's a moment that was priceless as spotty said.

Also, I had to give up a dream of the perfect nursery because we moved 5 months after she was born - there was no point in setting stuff up only to take it back down. I was super sad not to have the gorgeous designs and stuff that Pinterest makes you want SO bad. In retrospect though, I would have spent a lot of money on a room that didn't get used. Many, many babies (my nephew) have lovely nurseries that they barely use because everyone sleeps better with baby close by in bed or in a bassinet (though obviously some people are the opposite). Also, since I designed her room when she was 6 months old, I definitely did it differently than I would have otherwise. I did a Montessori room for her - floor bed, everything baby proofed - toys and clothes on open shelves, mirror hung at her level to see herself, art/activities velcroed to the walls so she could interact with them. Honestly, it's not a "cute" room but it's the most interactive space that I've ever really seen (outside of blogs on Montessori). She LOVES it. She interacts with her "art" (laminated photographs/print outs of things that I change out monthly - we've done safari animals, colors, family pictures, barn animals, etc.). I find that a lot of traditional nurseries end up being super cute but everything is set up for adults (notice all the wall stuff is hung at adult eye level) which is totally fine (I mean it's your house!) but I am really pleased with the alternate/albeit weird direction we went with things.

BTW, doing it this way has eliminated some interesting issues - there's no transition to a bed, no climbing out of the crib, etc. She's never been contained in a crib and occasionally wanders around her babyproofed room but mostly falls asleep in bed. We also weren't going to get a lot of financial help buying furniture and so this approach eliminated us having to buy a crib, changing table, etc.

Just giving you way more info on our nursery than you need to let you know there are other considerations/options out there. I ended up saving $$ and liking it better than I would have but that's just what worked for us! That being said, I still drool over GRU's nursery!!!

[TulipsAndSunscreen]

We didn't find out the first time, but did the 2nd and 3rd times. We have three boys, and I always hoped to have a girl. I didn't want any feelings of disappointment on my part to cloud the birth day, so we always found out before, and I'm glad we did.

Ironically, my fear of disappointment was another reason we found out - I didn't think I would be (and wasn't) disappointed at BIRTH but was afraid I would be at 20 weeks. Funny - same reason, different approach!

[GreyhoundsRUs]

That being said, I still drool over GRU's nursery!!!

Thanks! We knew we would be using it for 3.5 years, and that any subsequent kid would share the room. Plus, the ILs bought both cribs for us and DH built the closet system. If we end up having a third after fellowship, his/her room will be much like D's, T&S! Contrary to D's room, A never plays in her room. There are some books in there, but it's basically a space for diaper changes and sleep!

[WolfpackWife]

Speaking of disappointment: did anyone experience that? Did anyone feel so strongly or daydreamed to constantly about having one sex versus the other that there actually was a moment - or even a couple of days - of having reckon with the fact that the baby you're growing isn't the boy/girl you'd imagined? I've always been curious about this.

[TulipsAndSunscreen]

I would really like children of both sexes. If at the the end of having children, I only have girls, I will be sad to miss out on that experience but not disappointed. I would like a son but I thank God every day for "letting me be her mama one more day" (literally, I say that in my prayers with her every night). There are no guarantees of a single, healthy, outside baby. So though I'd like both, I'm thankful for the one (and one on the way) that I do have, regardless of gender.

It's hard to explain but it's like anything...I'm sad I didn't experience other colleges, other majors, etc. but I don't wish away my life. Does that make sense?

[WolfpackWife]

It's hard to explain but it's like anything...I'm sad I didn't experience other colleges, other majors, etc. but I don't wish away my life. Does that make sense?

That actually makes perfect sense!

[JaneDoe]

I am pregnant with my fourth. We will not find out the baby's sex as we didn't find out during my three prior pregnancies. It never bothered me to wait and, in fact, it was such a reward following the labor/pushing to hear the words "it's a . . ." With my first baby, I had hoped for a boy. Upon my dd's birth, however, I didn't feel disappointment upon learning she was a girl. I attribute that to not learning her sex while pregnant. Upon seeing her for the first time, I didn't care if she was a boy or girl - I was immediately in love. I've always wondered if I would have felt some disappointment if I found out she was a girl without seeing her first.

[mommax3]

I also did get to hear the news from DH each of the times we found out....he was the one doing the ultrasounds!

I do feel sorry that I don't get to have the experience of parenting a girl, but it never clouded my feelings towards the sweet boy babies I did have.

[alison]

I wanted a girl. I don't really have a reason for it other than having a boy seemed like it would present a whole lot of unknowns. I had never really been around babies when I had dd, so having a girl felt like it would be familiar territory.

I felt like we won the lottery, because dh is one of four boys, and I have a brother. There are very few girls in both of our families, so I was super happy.

If we are lucky enough to have a second baby, I'd love another girl.

[MrsC]

We were back and forth on this because the gender obsession (other people's) drove us crazy. We had no preference. What swayed us was that we're not big on surprises lol.
I am amazed by what a difference it made! I was convinced it was a boy beforehand but I feel more of a connection now and DH does too. I wasn't expecting that really. It's nice to be able to think about raising a boy and all that goes along with it. I love looking at boy clothes and toys, though we won't be buying much for another few weeks. We have a few names picked out but won't pick one until we meet him. Can't wait!

[lyswarden]

I'm 32 weeks along with our first and we decided early on that we couldn't wait until birth to find out the gender. I'm a big planner & list maker and with everything else up in the air (school acceptance, jobs, relocation etc) we wanted to have something concrete to look forward to. I don't think finding out will take anything away from meeting him for the first time. It's still going to be amazing.

Props to everyone who has the will-power to wait it out though!

[SallyWilliams]

Well, I wanted ours to be a surprise but my husband was very insistent that we know the gender right away so we could prepare. He wanted the baby stuff to be color pink if the baby was a girl and blue if boy. I tried telling him that we could get color blue and it would work for both a boy and a girl but he was really desperate. With my 2nd baby, I'd like it to be a surprise but I'm hoping it would be a boy this time.