Parenting pet peeves

[TulipsAndSunscreen]

I don't have much but I will say that many of the more experienced moms on here have stressed "owning your choices" and I've actually gotten crap for doing JUST THAT. For example, when asked about my birth (I never, ever talk about it...hello, it wasn't great) when it comes up that I didn't have an epidural, I get comments, "Oh you're one of THOSE moms" or that I breastfed her for a year while working and didn't do cry it out, "Oh, you believe in that hippy stuff don't you."

I'm perfectly comfortable with my choices, in fact, I often trip over myself to emphasize that they work for US and not everyone. But I hate, hate, hate, when people a) assume that I'm judging them for their choices simply by responding to questions about my own or b) assume that my choices were made as a naive, first-time mommy, and that I'll change my mind when I have more experience/more kids. Example: "when you have more than one child, you WILL do cry it out. You're going to have to"....um, thanks?

[GrayMatterWife]

I don't think parenthood is fraught with unending judgement. If you get caught up in that crowd you may feel that way but it doesn't have to be the case.

This. Exactly. Stay away from weirdo parents and having kids is fun!

[GrayMatterWife]

For example, when asked about my birth (I never, ever talk about it...hello, it wasn't great) when it comes up that I didn't have an epidural, I get comments, "Oh you're one of THOSE moms" or that I breastfed her for a year while working and didn't do cry it out, "Oh, you believe in that hippy stuff don't you."

I got COMPLETELY drugged up on an epi for all four of my kids' birthsand I hate breastfeeding and stop doing it the second I have an excuse...but I don't think natural CB or BFing is hippy. I am pretty sure that was the game plan for everyone until about 50 years ago. From paupers to princesses (well, I guess princesses probably used wet nurses...can't have those royal boobs hanging...)

[GrayMatterWife]

How many activities are they supposed to do. All my girls do is dance. The boy just plays.

HA! My daughters basically create chaos. That is their big enrichment activity! DD#1 will start Irish dancing lessons next fall, but that is a cultural thing, not because I want her to be the next Lord of the Dance or because I think it will ensure her admission to Harvard...

[spotty_dog]

I think this thread needs a little Sanctimommy. https://www.facebook.com/pages/Sanct...23533471000365

[v-girl]

Wellll..... Not sure you are doing it right, v-girl.

'Round these parts, an hour without a scheduled activity that isn't between ten pm and six am is either wasted time or asking for trouble. So far, I've just been lucky. . My boy does soccer and my girl does ballet and band. No two sports a season, no volunteer time at the local animal shelter, no after school clubs or early morning student government meetings. I'm a loser mom.

With the hours they are at ballet/modern/jazz, I'm not sure when they would do other activities!

[SoonerTexan]

Irish dancing is so cool. I always wanted to do it and my sister did it for awhile and loved it. The wigs and costumes are a little crazy though. It can be a little toddlers and tiaras at some of the events.

End hijack

[HouseofWool]

Sophie's dance recital was this weekend. There were at least 4 different sections of Irish dance. In one of them was a girl of about 7 with Downs. Holy crap - she did a great job, but during rehearsal, she was so awesome, doing her little jig, but obviously having the time of her life, two huge thumbs up and a smile that wouldn't quit. It was inspiring.

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After the show
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During rehearsal...
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[TulipsAndSunscreen]

Sophie's dance recital was this weekend. There were at least 4 different sections of Irish dance. In one of them was a girl of about 7 with Downs. Holy crap - she did a great job, but during rehearsal, she was so awesome, doing her little jig, but obviously having the time of her life, two huge thumbs up and a smile that wouldn't quit. It was inspiring.

Ah, how CUTE is she????

[SoonerTexan]

Adorable!

[MrsK]

Count me in the "don't really care" category. The very best thing you can do for yourself as a parent is to feel good about yourself and the decisions you make for your child. Be able to talk about those choices with others without getting defensive. Read through your pet peeves and ask yourself if you'd like to be held to the same standards. People don't mean harm (even servers that pour hot coffee over baby), they come from a different perspective, have different experience, or know nothing about children.

But the sock thing, lol, happens all the time around here

The thing with pet peeves . . . , by definition, a pet peeve is a minor thing that irritates you. For some people, a pet peeve is when people say "irregardless" or when people double park or those "Real Housewives" becoming infamous for being trashy. I think we can be annoyed by the way people interact with our children or behave around or children or even how people behave in general and still acknowledge that the people have a different perspective/experience/etc. and don't intend to offend. I know that the server who pours hot coffee over my baby is clueless rather than malicious but I'm still irritated when it happens. (In general, I think that part of training servers in resturants that cater to families should include some basics about serving around children because the resturants should be concerned about hospitality and safety and probably don't want their servers spilling hot drinks on babies either but that's a different thread.) I really don't think it's appropriate to dogpile or accuse mommies of being defensive for acknowledging that these things are "pet peeves" or minior irritants. If we were asking about driving pet peeves or grocery shopping pet peeves, I don't think there would be a backlash. I think everyone would agree that the person who brings 50 items into the express lane is irritating without saying that we are jerks for being annoyed because that person is clueless and doesn't mean any harm.

[GreyhoundsRUs]

Ah, how CUTE is she????

Seriously! Almost makes up for her not sleeping, huh?

[HouseofWool]

Seriously! Almost makes up for her not sleeping, huh?

Almost.

[GreyhoundsRUs]

The thing with pet peeves . . . , by definition, a pet peeve is a minor thing that irritates you.

ITA! People aren't trying to be malicious, nor do I think they're trying to undermine my parenting (in the case of my peeves), it just irritates me - the same as someone who has a runny nose and keeps sucking their snots vs blowing their nose

[samssugarmomma]

I must look really mean because I never get comments from strangers. LOL.