Help me get my kids to help out around the house!

[HouseofWool]

DD does all of these things as well, but they're not regular chores. She's also pretty handy with a vacuum swifter. The problem is that she feels that saying "no" when she doesn't want to help is an option.

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I haven't run into that too often. Mostly bc it isn't an option. I honestly need the kids to help with the chores. I usually lay it out that X, Y, and Z all need to be done. Which would she like to do first.

[Meenah]

When the girls were around 11 & 12 we had a big blowup about laundry. I washed, dried, folded and they had to put their own things away. They got into a fight about what belonged to who and who had to put it away. I threw all of the laundry into the hallway on the floor and told them if it was still there in 15 minutes it would be thrown away. Their Dad left the house that very minute and returned with two laundry baskets/ two bottles laundry soap / two boxes of fabric softener sheets! You get the picture. I never did their laundry again. He told them that since they knew how to work a computer and multiple electronic things they could learn to use the washer and dryer. I never did their laundry again, and if they didn't have something they needed it was their own fault. The funny thing is a year later they did not want me to touch their laundry (I don't sort, if there is enough for a load it goes in!!!). They are now both very meticulous about their laundry!

[Thirteen]

We often do a job list before holidays or birthdays so the kids can earn cash. It's not usually day to day chores but more often big stuff. Our kids don't get an allowance.

This was my family as well. We had things that were expected as "contributions" to our family, and then there were huge projects beyond that.

I'm talking: digging out 4 feet deep clay soil, making new landscaping beds, hauling wheelbarrows full of steer manure out of the back of a truckbed, etc.

I earned my money with sweat equity, and I think it helped with learning to value money. Of I earned $20 doing something on my parents' "optional" list, I wasn't quick to throw it away on a fair weathered impulse purchase.


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[spaz]

Ok, first of all realize there will be push back and SOMEHOW you have to push through it. When people asked my boys what they hated most when we started homeschooling ( they were 7 and 9) they said CHORES because I actually made them do them when I had let them slide by in public school. I tried chore lists and things on the fridge and all sorts of things.... I couldn't keep up with it. So here are things that I did, that DID work:

At 3:30 EVERY DAY, ( the end of our school day at the time ) we had cleanup time or half an hour. We would ALL tackle the living room. One would help me pick up and put thing back ( or send kid back to his room with it), another would be vacuuming. That would take maybe 10 minutes with all three kids and I working. We would then move to the kitchen. One would unload the dishwasher, the other load, the other wipe the counter while I sweep . Once again 10 minutes. Then on to the playroom. We typically get 2 or 3 rooms done one day. The next day we do any rooms we didn't get to. ( Like maybe we truly trashed the kitchen and need to spend the full 30 minutes...grin.) If you spend just 30 minutes at the end of the day EVERY day, it keeps it reasonable. (Not Southern Living clean, but real life clean.) This worked well with little kids.

Now, I don't have to be in the same room. They also pick up after themselves so much better. Now, I typically do it just once or twice a week. Middle one will vacuum, youngest will clean bathrooms, etc.

Other things I have done is to focus on a skill: Laundry and I really hammered, checked progress,etc

I gave a job to a kid: taking out the garbage on Sunday night. And the all have liked certain jobs .

Working together really helps: over Thanksgiving one kid cleaned out the pantry, another the freezer, another the microwave and wiping the front of the cabinets, dad cleaned the stove and I helped whatever kid needed me ( Is this mayonnaise still good? What about these leftovers.

Now as I said, when I started this they didn't like chores, but now they accept it as part of life. In fact, my oldest came home from college and said he missed doing chores and was excited about doing his old jobs...

Another thing we try to do in January and in the summer is declutter with Camp ( Insert last name) Every day we pick on room to work on together. We reorganize cabinets, move furniture to clean under it, organize every drawer. Each room can take 1/2 to a full day depending on the room. But then we do fun activities like all go out for ice cream or have a water balloon fight, or go see a fun movie. Each day had a fun activity. At the end of the week I give out prizes: best attitude, most clean room, ( yes, they work on a piece of their room each day: under the bed one day, dresser the next, etc.) hardest worker... The prizes have changed. No more Buzz Lightyear toys, but a $15 iTunes gift card is great now. This decluttering has really helped. The kids don't mind it either!!

Hope this helps . I don't like cleaning either.

[Pollyanna]

Great ideas spaz!😃

[Sheherezade]

I agree the easiest way to get it done is to present it as a new daily habit and to ask for it to be done immediately or very close in time to when it is presented, not some time later and certainly not when they schedule it themselves. For me, I think Sunday chores worked because I told them that's what we were doing from now on Sundays before dinner. They had a list, they knew it had to be done and it was a regular routine. When I've tried to do things like assign chores that are sporadic, they don't get done. (Take the garbage out when full as opposed to "after dinner".)

I think they need very clear directions and you need to enforce the habit for awhile before it sticks. Also, I think it's best if all the kids are doing the chores at the same time; that way no one gets all up in arms about the sibling that isn't working. Not that they can't deal with that, but it's just one more aggravation that stops them from helping and makes it more work than it is worth.

[spaz]

I was listening to a podcast that made me think of this thread. She was talking about this book:
Cleaning House: A Mom's Twelve Month Experiment to get rid of Youth Entitlement
http://www.amazon.com/Cleaning-House...words=kay+wyma

Here is the summary:

Is Your Home Out of Order?

Do your kids expect clean folded clothes to magically appear in their drawers? Do they roll their eyes when you suggest they clean the bathroom? By racing in to make their lives easy, have you unintentionally reinforced your children’s belief that the world revolves around them?

I enjoyed listening to her. One thing that resonated with me is the tendency to jump in and do things for them which leaves them feeling like they can't do it right. I may have to see if I can find a copy at the library somewhere.

[HouseofWool]

I was listening to a podcast that made me think of this thread. She was talking about this book:
Cleaning House: A Mom's Twelve Month Experiment to get rid of Youth Entitlement
http://www.amazon.com/Cleaning-House...words=kay+wyma

Here is the summary:

Is Your Home Out of Order?

Do your kids expect clean folded clothes to magically appear in their drawers? Do they roll their eyes when you suggest they clean the bathroom? By racing in to make their lives easy, have you unintentionally reinforced your children’s belief that the world revolves around them?

I enjoyed listening to her. One thing that resonated with me is the tendency to jump in and do things for them which leaves them feeling like they can't do it right. I may have to see if I can find a copy at the library somewhere.

It was a good book. The last couple of chapters dragged for me and as someone who isn't religious, that aspect of the book made me a bit uncomfortable. But, overall the message was good.