The Nanny Search

[SoonerTexan]

Has begun.

I thought I had the perfect person lined up (mom of 2 who went to our church and lived less than a mile away), but she ended up getting a job at her son's Montessori school, so I'm back to square one.

I don't work Fridays and my mom does Thursdays, so I only need someone Mon-Wed. I've looked into formal childcare centers, but that schedule is pretty hard to accommodate and I don't want to pay for full time. I've appreciated the flexibility in home care has given me too.

So I set up a profile on Care.com. I have a few promising looking people, but the whole thing makes me nervous. In the past, I've used people I know on a more personal level and it gave me a lot more security. What do you look for? Red flags? I just feel so much more comfortable when it is someone I know, even on a very basic level.

There are also two other options I'm exploring, but I'm not sure what to think. Both have babies Baby J's age, so I'm worried it will be too much and/or N will be bored. On the other hand, BabyJ will be 6 months when the job would start and I do plan to send N to preschool part time next year. I worry about Baby J getting enough attention when he is competing with the caregiver's own baby, but not so much once they both are above 1 year old, which would only be 6 months in. One is a med school wife and there tends to be a lot of flexibility there. The other is the wife of a guy I went to HS with and go to church with, but she is further away and I think the commute might kill me.

Advice? Thoughts?

[SoonerTexan]

^PM me. The only thing is I need someone part time, so I don't know if it would be enough.

[spaz]

Any options for a Mother's Day Out program or church daycares that might be flexible to only bring them Monday through Wednesday?

[SoonerTexan]

Unfortunately they don't provide the hours I need. Most are 9-2

[TulipsAndSunscreen]

Have you thought about posting for a share? You could do a PT share with someone who needs FT care. It would help them offset costs and give you the days you need.

It would lessen the convenience (the FT person would probably want it at their house) but it might work. Or could your mom switch to Mondays? More daycares seem open to T-TH

[oceanchild]

FWIW, when I was looking at daycares, M-W was a fairly standard option. I did W-F for a few months at the center where we are now full-time. Though I suspect for two a nanny will end up being easier, and maybe even cheaper.

I know lots of people who have used care.com successfully, but I understand why it's scary. If it were me, I'd want the person to spend some time with my kids while I was home first, check references, maybe set up some sort of nanny cam (but probably tell the nanny about it).

I would not do the long commute. That is the thing for which I have the least patience.

Those are my thoughts.

[SoonerTexan]

I talked to one last night that seems promising. She came over from South Africa as an au pair 20 years ago and has been a nanny since and is married with a 4 year old son now. She was really professional and send me 2 glowing letters of recommendation--I need to call them and talk to the references.

[SoonerTexan]

I did! I'm halfway through an email back to her but I keep getting distracted

[SoonerTexan]

The Nanny Search

If you don't even bother to read my full ad to figure out what the hours are (clearly stated), I'm not inclined to consider you very strongly

[BonBon]

If you don't even bother to read my full ad to figure out what the hours are (clearly stated), I'm not inclined to consider you very strongly

That was my big beef with using sittercity.

[TulipsAndSunscreen]

Yeah, asking a question is also a really easy way to weed out people who have literally zero attention to detail.

My original ad asked for a sample morning with a six month old (DD's age at the time) and tons of people didn't respond.

In fairness though, I think a lot of people are non responsive in both directions. I let everyone who applied know if we were interested or not and promptly let final candidates know that they were not selected. Several wrote me back to thank me because apparently people usually just leave them hanging rather than sign back on and respond to messages.

[SoonerTexan]

I called another applicant and was NOT impressed.

But...I have high hopes for the lady coming over tomorrow. She is a retired pediatric nurse Grandma with a ton of references who raised 5 kids. They just moved here and her sons are going to a chiropractic school in the area. I liked what I saw on her application and what I heard tonight. Fingers crossed this is the one!

I was looking into the daycare across the street from work but a coworker told me today one of consultants sends her young son there and hates it. I don't know the details yet but she is trying to get him in somewhere else. Sounds great right? :/

[TulipsAndSunscreen]

It's very tough. I think I told you we phone screened 20+ people. We are so blessed to find our nanny - it's why we give her raises, bonuses, gifts, and as much flexibility as we possibly can!!! I nearly flipped out last week when DH left her hanging for 30 minutes one evening while I was on a plane. She was completely fine (she's had parents be MIA for hours before) but I was like "do NOT anger the nanny!!!!"

[PrincessFiona]

I'm watching this thread with my fingers crossed. I hope you find 'the one' soon!

[Pollyanna]

I'm watching this thread with my fingers crossed. I hope you find 'the one' soon!

Ditto!