I really stepped in it today

[PrincessFiona]

I was at soccer for Aidan and the sahd next to me started up a conversation. He pretty much told me the story of his life. Part of that story was that there is a 10 year age difference between all siblings in his family, with a 16 year age difference between him and his youngest sibling....

Later he shared with me that he had a 10 year old and a 21 year old.

I said something along the lines of "oh, just like your family growing up. Did you do that consciously?" He paused and it got really awkward. Then he said "No, my wife had multiple miscarriages. We wanted our kids close together."

Ugh.

I apologized profusely. I actually got tears in my eyes because I felt so awful for what I said.

Thankfully, he took it well. He understood how I drew the connection and didn't fell bothered by it in the least.

Still ... I just felt so bad. I really was just thinking about what he told me about his siblings.....

ugh.

Kris

[Pollyanna]

Don't feel bad Kris. I'm sure he didn't take it personally and I'm sure folks point out the age difference all the time. People mention the span between 4 and 5 to us all the time and I just say, "you don't always get the babies to come along when you want them" with a smile.

No harm no foul.

[houseelf]

I think he probably rolled with it. Really. It wasn't intentional at all and you made amends. You're human too.

I once teased my favorite HS teacher that his kids were so gorgeous, they looked nothing like him. He replied that he and his wife had just adopted them from an orphanage in Romania. I felt awful but he was very matter of fact. Honestly they did look biologically related: this blonde haired, blue eyed family. Then I think I felt bad because I felt bad. Adoption isn't a hush hush thing. That's right. I felt guilty over my guilt. Analyze that.

[ladymoreta]

I agree; don't be too hard on yourself. He wasn't trying to avoid telling you or change the subject. While it will always be a painful part of his life, it sounds like he is at peace with it enough to casually tell an acquaintance.