More children

[Howfunitis]

I figured this is a good place to ask since it involves children.

When did you decide to have more children? I have my daughter who is 13 months. Hubby and I had discussed once we started having children we would want them 2 years apart or between 2-3 years but now that we are almost done with 3rd year and I have no idea how the rest of the year or next year will be, I don't know if it's a good route to take or wait for them to be farther apart and not to mention the biological tick tock

Thanks Ladies

[diggitydot]

There's never a perfect time. Whatever makes to most sense for your fam is what's best.

[HouseofWool]

My second child was born in the middle of residency interviews. As in he arrived home from a trip in the morning and I went into labor that night.

That said, my OB was amazing and was willing to schedule an induction so he could be there.

[ladymoreta]

I love my 20 month spacing. I'd say have them as close together as possible. They play together so well at this point, and it makes my life much easier.

But like everyone says, there's no perfect spacing. If they're close together but don't play well, you'd be in trouble.

[SoonerTexan]

We had our second during 4th year. It was a really great time, though we did our best to get pregnant in a small window that allowed a potential due date of after residency interviews but before a potential move. Our kids are 26 months apart. DH was also able to arrange his rotation schedule so he was done by mid March and he watched the kids when I went back to work til he started in July

[TulipsAndSunscreen]

Ours are 22 mo apart and our first was born in January of 4th year. If you can swing it, 4th year is a really great time to have a baby (after the fall).

[MsSassyBaskets]

Our first was born in January of 4th year (she was due in Feb after residency interviews, but came early and he still had a couple interviews to go on through the end of January). It's going really well so far and his hours are pretty easy for right now. I went on the advice of this site when planning her for the second half of 4th year. But like everyone says, it's all about what works for your family!

[alotofyarn]

I profit wanted 2-4 years, but since my first is 15 months and I'm not quite ready for #2, we're going to wait a bit longer and aim for closer to 3 years. We're in a tough spot having gone through infertility and loss before conceiving our daughter, and we don't know what it will be like for #2. We had originally hoped to have our first during MS4 year, but we ended up having her during his intern year, and we survived. Now we're hoping for PGY4, though we know it's not a guarantee.

[Vanquisher]

Flove my 6 year gap!! We had our second in March of MS4. My pregnancy was rough, so that was hard with away interview rotations and interviews, but it was a great time overall.


Heidi

[rainbabies]

We had our first, two months before med school started. The other two during med school. I had them in just under 2.5 years. They're *very* close in age. Theres never "a perfect time".
I couldn't imagine just having kids now, 5+ years out of residency. Nope. Nada. Negative. NooooWay.

[ides]

Love my only! It's awesome to have just one.

[OrionGrad]

Ours are 24 months apart, and it's honestly been really great. We planned to have our second during one of the busiest rotations of DH's residency, mainly because I figured I'd rather get as much of that rotation out of the way as possible before the baby arrived. It worked out so he only had two weeks of that rotation left when I went into labor, and although those 2 weeks were rough, it's been nice having him around more (comparatively) for the rest of the year.
Anyway, I say go for it whenever you're ready because there will never be a "perfect" time during your training years.

[spotty_dog]

Something I often harp on when this topic comes up is that when you decide to try to conceive, you are basically committing to end your first kiddo's babyhood. I had thought "Oh, they'll be two years apart, DS1 will be a two-year-old when his sibling comes," but the changes occur much sooner -- baby will often wean or the nursing pattern will at least change, baby will be crowded out of your lap as your belly grows, baby will be harder to carry. I don't regret my 27 month gap but I'm definitely glad I didn't try for closer together. It wouldn't have suited my parenting style.

Parenting style also affects the "when in training" question. As a SAHM committed to a hands-on approach, most of the parenting burden is on me for my babies' first year or two, so DH's training load didn't entirely come into it. (Although having the second baby during a "research" month when he could arrange his hours a little bit was surprisingly helpful when it came to toddler-wrangling.) Financially, having two kids both born during residency, we were able to keep our emergency fund healthy and save for a move and a new house and for the kids' college accounts only by having DH moonlight very extensively (which in turn was only possible because of his specialty).

There are really just a bazillion variables, I'm afraid.

[Vanquisher]

Plus, you just never know if you'll have trouble conceiving.


Heidi

[Thirteen]

Do it.


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