Confessions of Parenthood...

[PrincessFiona]

OK, spill it...what are some of those moments that you are less proud of.

I forgot that Friday was picture day at Alex's school and I dressed him in a worn out spiderman t-shirt and jeans. When I got there and saw the sign about the pictures I realized I had forgotten to pre-pay and he was dressed like a hobo. So I ran home to grab a nice sweater for him to wear....unfortunately, his sweaters were all in the laundry room. The one that I wanted even smelled a little...stinky. Sooooooooooo, I put some liquid fabric sofener on a towel an threw the sweater and towel into the drier for 10 minutes :nono:

It smelled great when I took it out. Then I raced back to the school with it just in time for his picture. :>

kris

[houseelf]

Kris,

Any one single day yields an entire novel worth of confessions of my parenting foibles. If this is your most sordid "confession", my kids must be preparing themselves for their tearful recounting of their childhood on "Oprah".

I forgot Cade's pictures also. Clean clothes? I don't even change mine when I get spit up on anymore. I have become that mom that smells faintly of puke and has a breast milk pattern formed on her shirt. I yell more than I think is healthy and I tune out more than I should. I went from "no sugar cereals" to "which sugar loaded blatant marketing ploy would you like to ingest this morning before I pour you in the van and get you to school five minutes late"? I'll admit that although I condemn the overscheduling and blatant materialism that has crept into early childhood, I ride that train every day too. Seriously, spanish and swim lessons at four? Who is this for? Who am I kidding?

Still, I love my kids more than anything. I live for them. I try to read to them, pray with them, and really talk to them. I love their father and I love them. I hope that the fact that I keep trying and I have all this love counts for something.

Maybe we are all just struggling with unattainable images of how parenting and family life should be. How can it be this complex? How can something I love so deeply shake my self confidence so swiftly?
Because I am not that highly evolved, I may just smack the next perfectly manicured mom with well-behaved children peacefully making their way through the supermarket. How is that for anti-feminism? I can't maintain this ideal, so I'll tear down someone who seems to be achieving what I can not do just to make myself feel better. Yes, this urge underscores the truth that women are more mysoginistic (sp?) than men.

How is that for vomiting up my issues at the merest suggestion that parenting may be more complex than the sugary sweet version we see all around us? I'm laughing because I sound like a raving loon or a revolutionary, the Che Guevarra of motherhood. I think that I'm teetering on the edge. Any lego impaling my foot in the middle of the night just may just be the final straw which sends me to my friendly family doctor seekign a script for "mother's little helper" .

Greetings from the nuthouse.
<insert maniacal laugh>

Kelly

[twinsmom]

I have my seat up front and center stage on the "bad Parent bandwagon" trip. I find that I do more things in a day that I used to secretly shun my brothers and sisters (who entered parenthood earlier them I) then I can even count. One that comes to mind right off the bat is - while preparing for a nutrition demo and trying to cook the refreshments for a ton of people, I was running late (as usual) and didn't have time to get the kids also fed before I had to go - so I grabbed the nearest things - brownies and rice krispie treats from a party the night before. Sad to say, that was their entire meal - I just kept reloading their trays as I was running around the kitchen like crazy... mind you they were barely over a year old at the time as well . Yea, so much for 'practice what you preach' from my nutrition seminars .

Jen B

[HeartRN]

When I first became a mom, I was a little concerned about germs...never really militant like some moms are, but I worked to make sure she didn't mouth things that were really dirty, etc. Now she's got a baby doll that's her lovey...that poor thing has milk spilled on her, she's hit the pavement and who knows what other germ-riddled surface, not to mention my daughter always "shows" her baby to total strangers., so baby changes hands pretty frequently (even to people we don't know..I think people don't want to offend her by not accepting baby!)

And to confess.....my child is already all too familiar with the taste of McDonald's at a ripe age of one..... I want her to eat nutritiously, but sometimes I am just living on the fringe of insanity, steps away from total meltdown, and the thought of actually trying to PREPARE something for her to eat just might be what sends me over the edge!

[Rapunzel]

Yeah, my kids had brownies one morning last week for breakfast. My rationale was that they weren't exactly less healthy than doughnuts. Of course, I was so sick that morning that I could hardly see straight.... But, hey, the kids were fed that a.m. and I occasionally throw some vegetables in their direction.

I feel like I go through cycles of good and bad parenting. Sometimes I feel like I'm really on-top of things and we're all one big, happy functional group of people. After I reach that zenith, however, I seem to gradually go down, down, down (and, feeding the kids brownies for breakfast is only two-thirds of the way down the tubes for me), until I reach a point where I just think to myself, "What the heck am I doing?!?" And, then I have an upswing again.

I usually think of my own mother as being "perfect" when I was growing up. But, when I really stop to think about it, I DO remember the time she fed us cookies for lunch. And, oddly enough, that is a very pleasant memory for me (although, apparently that happened because we had worn her out on a brief trip out shopping - she just couldn't get up the energy to make something). I think the one hope that I cling to is that my kids will either not realize the mistakes I make and/or will completely forget my bad parenting moments. My fingers are crossed....

Jennifer

Here's to hoping they turn those around to happy memories, Jennifer! I'm sure your kids will fondly recall getting the treat of eating brownies for breakfast.

There is an ebb and flow in parenting -- as with so much of life. As long as it isn't too extreme and you're still somewhat consistent on the things that count behavior-wise, I think it's healthy for kids. It would be unrealistic for them to think that every day should be a good day, or an easy day, or whatever.

I think I'm just not in the frame of mind to come up with anything off the top of my head. But, trust me, you would need a serious filing system for all of mine! Let's see, there would be hygiene, appropriate dress, feeding, yelling when I should talk quietly, hypocrisy/I won't do that when I have kids coming back to bite me.....etc.

I'm just thinking of the times on a car trip that I ignored the fussing....only to find a red bottom in a long poopy diaper. Picked up a binky from some gross placed and rubbed it on my shirt to kill the germs with friction. Forgotten appropriate drink, snack, change of clothing, suncsreen.
Or handled a transition poorly. Like when we decided it would be better for one of our two labs to live with my brother. He watched the dog while we were out of town and we came home to one fewer dogs with no warning!. I, um, don't recommend that. What the hell was I thinking?

Oh yeah, I'm going to go put $10 in the therapy jar!

[BonBon]

All right, I've been riding the edge of insanity lately, and I've been meaning to post my woes in the call room. I have a lump in my throat and my eyes are tearing at the knowledge that I am not in this alone. Motherhood can be so isolating and every moment is not a feel-good made-for-tv movie. In fact, most moments (lately) aren't like that.

Thank you for your honesty.

Right now I've got the kid parked in his exersaucer in front of Mr Rogers.

I love my child more than anything but goodness this can be hard.

[BonBon]

And really, I am quite serious, how about an iMSN spa weekend at some central location? I need a massage and a margarita and a few girlfriends.

[Auspicious]

And really, I am quite serious, how about an iMSN spa weekend at some central location? I need a massage and a margarita and a few girlfriends.

Sounds like a NYC get together to me . . .

[SueC]

OK, I've got quite a few...
Sometimes in the morning if I don't have time to give the kids a bath I spray their hair with detangler that smells nice so their mother's day out teachers will think they are freshly bathed.
More than once I've let my kids have cookies, cake, etc. instead of a meal.
I often get rid of toys and artwork when the kids are asleep. I can't save all the artwork and they have way too many toys. If a Barbie shoe or little barrette is on the floor I often "accidentally" vacuum them up.
I'm ashamed to admit that a few times I have lost my temper when trying to get them to pick up their toys and I have broken some (for instance I broke the leg off one of their dolls). I know, throwing a temper tantrum myself isn't setting a good example for the kids, but there are times when I have just lost it.
I'm sure there are countless other "bad mom" moments that I have forgotten (or maybe I'm repressing them!).

These are great stories!! I love hearing them! We recently moved to "Mayberry" where my mom-friends make home cooked meals every night...including pesto made from fresh basil from the garden, tomato sauce made from home grown tomatoes, homemade mac & cheese, and pumpkin pie made from scratch.

At first, I was really intimidated by them...after all, Kraft and Sara Lee are staples in my house! But now I'm realizing that they must have their days when they feed their kids something that came out of a box. They just have to!

It seems like life would be so much easier and less lonely if we could admit our faults/shortcomings to our own friends, but so many women think they have to portray themselves as being perfect mothers!

It seems like life would be so much easier and less lonely if we could admit our faults/shortcomings to our own friends, but so many women think they have to portray themselves as being perfect mothers!

I think you could write an entire book on that very subject!

[Sheherezade]

So many confessions, so little time.

Motherhood is very hard--and the isolation makes it so much worse. They only way to get through the tough times without "snapping" now in then is to have a group of parents share their stories in commiseration/good humor. Otherwise, it is so easy to lose perspective and end up weeping in a corner.

A few confessions: I once popped my two year old precious boy on the bottom because he simply would not put his coat on and it was 4:30 and the bank was closing soon and if we didn't get there to deposit a check all our bill payments were going to bounce. I did it in anger--absolutely --and frustration and overwhelming stress. Not that it was hard or anything, but it did get his attention. He was shocked. And the look in his eyes sent WAVES of maternal guilt over me. I am (obviously) a non-spanking parent, but in that moment I just lost it. I yell at my daughter more than my son. She's 5 and a girl and she knows how to push my buttons. Sometimes she gets to me, but it is the fact that I never do this with my son that bothers me most. I know it is unfair and I think she's going to call me on it when she's older--and she just might be right if I don't figure out how to deal with her calmly. Currently I am kicking myself because I am taking my kids out of school for a day here and there to visit family now that we can finally afford to travel. Unfortunately, it seems every day falls on some ultra special school event that I have destroyed with my travel plans. My daughter's kindergarten Thanksgiving feast she's soooo looking forward to? I don't have the heart to tell her she'll be on a plane to Florida. So sign me up for Mom of the Year too....

Well, it may be a tough job, but at least it pays so well and garners a person lots of respect in society .

Hang in there guys.

Angie

[Meenah]

I think I have done all of the above. It is amazing how our kids can really be OK in spite of us. I coudl write a book on all of my maternal mistakes because my girls are older and I have had more opportunity and time. My girls have turned out to be really OK young ladies!!!!
Luanne

[Meenah]

Count me in for a NY spa day!!!!!!!
Luanne