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Changed...since you became a parent?
Kelly and I were talking about this Saturday when we got together at Burger King so our little guys could run around and play.
In my before children days (Kris' life b.c.) I thought spanking of any kind was a form of child abuse, thought my children would eat only organically grown foods that I personally prepared, would wear cloth diapers only, would watch no tv.....I looked down on any mom whose child was acting up in the grocery store with that "get control" kind of an attitude (MAN, payback for THAT hurts!). In general, I had no freaking idea!
With baby #1, I was very, very protective. I didn't let Andrew cry for even a second. Even if we were on the road driving and he started crying, I pulled off and nursed him. If he got a little cold, I ran right to our pediatrician. I refused to allow him to have anything besides breast milk for 6 months and nearly had a coronary when my mil bought a secret stash of baby applesauce, etc and fed him when he was 5 months old.
He also didn't have any kind of sweet thing until he was about 4 years old...really. I also sterilized everything that he might put in his mouth in our avent microwave sterilizer. I scoffed at any mom who would allow her child to consume tv like Power Rangers. My mom tells me that she couldn't even hold him without me making some sort of comment to 'be careful' etc. I also was the raving dr. laura mom (why have children if you are going to work )
I was also very sensitive to any criticisms (or perceived criticisms about my parenting). If someone looked at me and I thought they were implying bad parenting on my part, I was devastated. If the old lady down the street told me my child needed a cap on his head in the middle of summer when he was sitting in the buggy under the umbrella I chastised myself for days about being a 'bad' mom.
Fast forward to baby #4. There has been a progressive decline in my parenting attitudes.
Here is the honest truth:
If I'm driving in the car and Aidan is crying, I keep driving. I'm not afraid to put him in his swing and let him cry a little when it is naptime or I need a break. None of my kids go to the pediatrician anymore unless a limb is falling off or something dramatic. I got tired long ago of paying $20 to be told it was a 'virus'.
Alex owns 3 Power Rangers videos.
Though I am still nursing him, the child ate chocolate with his siblings on Halloween. Yes, shall I call the dept. of children and family services or would you like to.
I am not afraid to leave all 4 kids with my husband even if I know that means that Aidan might cry when I am gone. Thomas doesn't even call me anymore because he tried calling me to tell me to 'come home, the baby is crying' and I just would say "I'm sure you will handle it fine". That is so NOT me.....
I work two mornings a week with NO guilt...zero, zilch, nada.....I enjoy the 3 hours to the hilt and then come and pick him up feeling refreshed and happy to have spent some alone time. (The ultimate in selfishnes? oh well!)
The thing that has changed the most for me is my response to the criticism of others. For the most part, I just seem to not care anymore. I recongize that people have their own ideas about parenting and I honestly feel that we would never lobby the same types of criticisms at other people. Can you imagine telling your neighbor how to drive his car or mow his lawn? "Hey, buddy, go pull those dandelions"! I pretty much just smile and nod and move on. I have heard every opinion possible in regards to how I should feed, clothe and talk to my children.
I'm so tired of how judgemental people are.
When Kelly and I were getting together our kids were all pretty loud. They were enjoying the rare opportunity to play together...we don't meet that often. Kelly and I were not watching our children as closely perhaps as we would have if we had been alone in the play area with them because we, too, were cherishing one of those rare opportunities to communicate without a keyboard or a phone line.
One of the women in the play area commented that she "couldn't eat" in there and got up and walked out while giving me a dirty look. It bothered me at first and then I found myself thinking "what the hell is wrong with people?". If the noise in a children's play area bothers her, then she should leave.
I've definitely changed.
kris
Kelly and I were talking about this Saturday when we got together at Burger King so our little guys could run around and play.
In my before children days (Kris' life b.c.) I thought spanking of any kind was a form of child abuse, thought my children would eat only organically grown foods that I personally prepared, would wear cloth diapers only, would watch no tv.....I looked down on any mom whose child was acting up in the grocery store with that "get control" kind of an attitude (MAN, payback for THAT hurts!). In general, I had no freaking idea!
With baby #1, I was very, very protective. I didn't let Andrew cry for even a second. Even if we were on the road driving and he started crying, I pulled off and nursed him. If he got a little cold, I ran right to our pediatrician. I refused to allow him to have anything besides breast milk for 6 months and nearly had a coronary when my mil bought a secret stash of baby applesauce, etc and fed him when he was 5 months old.
He also didn't have any kind of sweet thing until he was about 4 years old...really. I also sterilized everything that he might put in his mouth in our avent microwave sterilizer. I scoffed at any mom who would allow her child to consume tv like Power Rangers. My mom tells me that she couldn't even hold him without me making some sort of comment to 'be careful' etc. I also was the raving dr. laura mom (why have children if you are going to work )I was also very sensitive to any criticisms (or perceived criticisms about my parenting). If someone looked at me and I thought they were implying bad parenting on my part, I was devastated. If the old lady down the street told me my child needed a cap on his head in the middle of summer when he was sitting in the buggy under the umbrella I chastised myself for days about being a 'bad' mom.
Fast forward to baby #4. There has been a progressive decline in my parenting attitudes.
Here is the honest truth:
If I'm driving in the car and Aidan is crying, I keep driving. I'm not afraid to put him in his swing and let him cry a little when it is naptime or I need a break. None of my kids go to the pediatrician anymore unless a limb is falling off or something dramatic. I got tired long ago of paying $20 to be told it was a 'virus'.
Alex owns 3 Power Rangers videos.
Though I am still nursing him, the child ate chocolate with his siblings on Halloween. Yes, shall I call the dept. of children and family services or would you like to.
I am not afraid to leave all 4 kids with my husband even if I know that means that Aidan might cry when I am gone. Thomas doesn't even call me anymore because he tried calling me to tell me to 'come home, the baby is crying' and I just would say "I'm sure you will handle it fine". That is so NOT me.....
I work two mornings a week with NO guilt...zero, zilch, nada.....I enjoy the 3 hours to the hilt and then come and pick him up feeling refreshed and happy to have spent some alone time. (The ultimate in selfishnes? oh well!)
The thing that has changed the most for me is my response to the criticism of others. For the most part, I just seem to not care anymore. I recongize that people have their own ideas about parenting and I honestly feel that we would never lobby the same types of criticisms at other people. Can you imagine telling your neighbor how to drive his car or mow his lawn? "Hey, buddy, go pull those dandelions"! I pretty much just smile and nod and move on. I have heard every opinion possible in regards to how I should feed, clothe and talk to my children.
I'm so tired of how judgemental people are.
When Kelly and I were getting together our kids were all pretty loud. They were enjoying the rare opportunity to play together...we don't meet that often. Kelly and I were not watching our children as closely perhaps as we would have if we had been alone in the play area with them because we, too, were cherishing one of those rare opportunities to communicate without a keyboard or a phone line.
One of the women in the play area commented that she "couldn't eat" in there and got up and walked out while giving me a dirty look. It bothered me at first and then I found myself thinking "what the hell is wrong with people?". If the noise in a children's play area bothers her, then she should leave.
I've definitely changed.kris
Loser mom! I no longer judge parents because I have probably gone back on my word on at least 50% of the stuff that "I would never do" as a parent. I have even ventured to leave my kids with my in-laws for a night (DH was there too) eventhough I vowed I never would. I won't do it again, but there was always a first. Now I do what I can go get through the day sometimes like feeding fast food, using TV as a babysitter and letting my little one cry sometimes. I have had many people say to me in passing at Target that I have my hands full with a little one and a preschooler who tries to rule the roost.
I fully intend to learn from my kids and to hell with nosy strangers. I can only hope that my character strength of patience and my passing interest in operant conditioning will serve me well. 
) then I felt proud of myself!
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