Costs?

[SuzySunshine]

So my DH and I are finally having serious conversations about kids, timing, etc. So here is my question for the parents out there and I know this varies and is subjective, etc., etc.

How much does a baby actually cost? I'm not thinking hospital bills, I'm thinking weekly amounts of diapers, formula, child care, everyday stuff. Child care is my biggest one because I'll probably work with our 1st one.

Articles I have found vary from $4K to $18K for the first year - that seems like a huge gap. Any help, insight, would be appreciated. If you don't want to give specifics in public I'll happily read and delete a PM. Another question I'd love to get an honest response on is how people really afford to live on a resident's salary only with children. Are you taking out more loans, etc.?

Thanks gang - I'm just excited we're actually talking about it.

You all are cracking me up with your Tickers!

I can give you some random estimates on stuff as it comes to mind...I don't mind sharing--this is life! In terms of basics, we got a lot of stuff from friends and family during our baby showers--you can't feel bad about that, so let everyone pamper you! When you're looking at 200 for a crib, 80 for a pack-n-play, another 30 for a bouncy seat, 100-150 for a stroller/car seat/carrier, and another 100 some (more or less) for the next car seat, that's a good chunk just for the gear basics...we got almost all of these from the showers.

We used Avent bottles...usually about 9-11 dollars for a set of 3, and we probably have enough for 3-4 days--about 16 or so? I have the Avent handpump, another 60...formula KILLED us! I stopped breastfeeding when I went back to work. We spent $100/month on formula alone.

Diapers--right now, my son is in a size 4, and we buy a box of 160 at Sam's Club for 30 bucks, about every 3 weeks or so.

Clothes--we get most at a secondhand store or in lots on Ebay--we only buy new or full price for holidays and professional photos. No need for all new stuff when they go through it so quickly and get it dirty! This is one area where you can spend as much or as little as you want, I think.

Daycare--this will vary greatly if you need it--we decided to spare no expense and put DS in the primo, nicest, hoity toity daycare in town because it reduced our guilt about me not being able to stay home...but it costs 900/month. (took out more loans for that!) This will vary depending on your area and what kind of care you have, so you'll just have to see what other people weigh in with...DS will be in the toddler room starting next month, and I think that makes it go down about 100 or so. But we know we're paying about as much as we POSSIBLY could. Hence why I become SAHM when baby 2 arrives! Also with daycare, it seems like we had to buy a lot of "gear". Plastic containers for food, enough sippy cups for a whole day....and everything has to be labeled (so we bought the 20 dollar label maker...)...spare clothes---that kind of stuff.

Those are the basics that popped to mind right away...but it seems like everytime we turn around, there's something we "need" for the little guy--a pair of Stride Rite shoes for 45 dollars...prescription diaper rash cream that insurance doesn't pay for at 12 dollars...his 6 week, 3 month, 6 month, 12 month pictures...which can cost anywhere from 40-100 dollars (depending on how overboard you go with pics of the wee one--I am horrible!!)...so there's always something coming up--but I feel like we've adjusted because I'll go without a pair of new shoes or clothes since I'd rather buy something for him than myself.

I guess that I would sum up this ramble with a famous quote from my mother--"If you wait until you can afford kids, you'll never have them. Just go for it!"

Hope that helps a little--

Showing my total newbieness, what do residents make anyhow?

I know many people who manage to have one parent sah with the kids on incomes of $20-$40 K a year. I also know families where that is what they make with both parents working.

You'll find the money when you need it, and grandparents and other family members are, ime, astounding at detecting when there is need.

[SuzySunshine]

Resident salaries can vary based on locations, specialty, etc. Mayo's rates are publicly published. First year residents start at $42K. Which I will admit is great for this area because the cost of living isn't high but with a mortgage payment, car payments, school loans, etc. the bills add up.

Showing my total newbieness, what do residents make anyhow?

I know many people who manage to have one parent sah with the kids on incomes of $20-$40 K a year. I also know families where that is what they make with both parents working.

My husband made $33k as an intern 4 years ago and I think the interns at his residency program are still only making around $35k a year...which doesn't sound too shabby, but considering the cost of living in that area (LA beach cities) it really was a piddly amount. We lived in a VERY modest apartment and our rent equalled my husband's take home pay. But, there are some affordable places to live in this country and, in those areas, living off just a resident's salary can be doable.....tough, but doable.


Cheri,

I recently read an article that detailed how much raising a child costs and if I can find it again, I'll post it here. Of course, the cost of raising a child will vary greatly from family to family....some people think having a diaper warmer is essential and insist that they have to have it while others think they are just pricey pieces of junk. And do you need to use premium Huggies or are you ok with using the store brand?

We are just starting to buy things for our baby and I am realizing how pricey baby items can be. When I started making a list of everything that we needed for the baby I started to feel overwhelmed to say the least. But, as someone so wisely pointed out here, we don't need to buy everything right now. We've put off buying some things that the baby won't even be able to use for a while, like a high chair and exersaucer.

I recently went by Babies R Us and they had a list of the "basics" that baby needs. I couldn't believe it....they probably had 200 items on that list! Of course, they just want you to buy all of that crap from them! I found that Consumer Reports had a more sensible list of baby essentials...although I'm sure that their list could even be edited some. I'll post their list below. Pricing out the essentials might give you a good idea of what the up-front cost of baby would be.

As far as diapers....I've heard newborns go through about 8 a day. Based on that number, you can get a guesstimate of how much that would cost a month depending on whether you want to use brand name or generic. Wipes can be pricey, but you can save money by making your own. You can get lots of great deals on baby clothes at Costco. I just picked up a 5 pack of really cute Carters onesies and it was only $6. I saw the same exact pack at Target for $24! There are a lot of secondhand shops out there that sell some great stuff and a lot of the clothes they sell were never even worn or only worn once. And if you join a book club you can sometimes get lots of free books. I'm usually against joining book clubs because they can often times be rip offs, but I recently joined one after spending a lot of time researching the different children's book clubs and I was able to get $200 worth of books for $22.

I think there are a lot of hidden costs to having a baby, too. Take a look at your medical coverage...a $25 copay may not be so affordable if you have to visit the doctor often. And will you be contributing to a college savings plan, setting up a trust for your child, or increasing your life insurance policies?

Sorry for such a long, rambling post. It is so exciting that you and your husband are in the "discussion" phase and I think you're wise to get a good idea of costs so that you don't experience sticker shock when the time comes. In the end, I think if you decide to have a baby now you'll find a way to make it work.

Here is that list of baby essentials from Consumer Reports. In my opinion, it's a more sensible list than what a lot of the baby stores will give you....


New baby basics

A master list for new moms and dads

Here's a checklist of what you should have on hand before your baby arrives.

Tooling around
_____Car seat.
_____Stroller.

Beds and linens
_____Crib.
_____Crib mattress.
_____Bassinet/cradle (if you don't want to put your baby in a crib right away).
_____Two to three fitted crib sheets.
_____Four or more waffle-weave cotton receiving blankets for swaddling baby.
_____Two mattress pads.
_____One to two waterproof liners (for crib or bassinet).

Diaper duty
_____Diapers. Disposable or cloth.
_____Diaper pail. (Optional with disposables.)
_____Diaper bag.

Dressing baby
_____Four sleeping outfits or onesies (one-piece sleepers), preferably with attached feet.
_____Six side-snap T-shirts.
_____Four to six one-piece undershirts that snap around the crotch.
_____A small baby cap (although the hospital will probably give you one).
_____Six pairs socks/booties.
_____Two to three soft, comfortable daytime outfits. Get only a few items in newborn size. Then, go for clothing in the 6-month size--your baby will grow into it quickly. But don't buy baby sleepwear that's too big; it's a fire hazard.
_____Cotton sweater or light jacket.

Summer babies
_____Brimmed hat.

Winter babies
_____Snowsuit or heavy bunting.
_____Heavy stroller blanket.
_____Warm knit hat.

Feeding time
If you're planning to breast-feed:
_____Two or three nursing bras.
_____A box of washable or disposable breast pads.
_____Breast pump if you expect to use one.
_____Four small baby bottles with newborn nipples for expressed breast milk.
_____Bottle drying tree.
_____Bottle brush.
_____Insulated bottle holder for diaper bag (the hospital may give you one).
_____Three packs of cloth diapers or burp cloths.

If you're planning to bottle-feed
_____Six 4- to 5-ounce bottles, plus nipples, rings, and a dishwasher basket if you use a dishwasher.

Bathing/grooming
_____Three soft hooded towels.
_____Two packs of baby washcloths.
_____ Baby body wash that doubles as shampoo.
_____Pair of blunt-tip scissors or baby-sized nail clippers.
_____Zinc-oxide-based diaper rash ointment.
_____Infant bathtub.
_____Soft brush and comb.
_____Mild laundry detergent.

Medicine chest essentials
_____A pain-and-fever reducer recommended by your baby's doctor, such as Infant's Tylenol.
_____Cotton pads/swabs.
_____Nasal aspirator.
_____Digital thermometer.
_____Rubbing alcohol.
_____Petroleum jelly.

Keeping baby happy
_____Pacifiers.

Extras: Nice but optional
_____Monitor.
_____Changing table.
_____A rocker or glider.
_____Soft carrier.
_____Swing.

[Rapunzel]

Hmmmm.... I would modify the Consumer Reports list thusly:

- reduce the number of receiving blankets "necessary" down to three

-reduce the number of socks/booties down to three

- if you're planning to bottle feed you'll want to have a couple of cans of formula at home ready to go when you get home from the hospital

- reduce the number of soft hooded towels to one

- if you need to, you can just line a clean kitchen sink with towels and bathe baby in there rather than use an infant bathtub (we've done both with all four current kids and they're both comparable methods)

- I'd nix the soft brush and comb for a while - most newborns don't have enough hair to "groom"

- you can use your regular laundry detergent (unless your child has a skin problem)

- I've never used a nasal aspirator with any of my children

- ditto with the pacifiers (especially if you are breastfeeding - unnecessary)

- I'd place a swing as not optional but a necessity

Other than those nit-picky changes, I think the Consumer Reports list was pretty comprehensive and worthwhile!

Jennifer

I would disagree with their recommendation to go straight to 6m size clothing. My kids were smaller (but still seemed big to me!) and we used the 3 month size for, well, at least 3 months.

I breastfed both kids and mine loooove their pacifiers. Some kids like them, some don't. They're a pain to have to remember to have around, keep clean, etc but if it keeps your baby happy...priceless!

Ditto on the laundry detergent. Try the regular stuff first (use less than the regular "dose" if you're concerned about it).

The hospital gave us a soft brush and nasal aspirator. Unless your babies have a lot of hair, you can easily finger groom it.

My first wanted nothing to do with the swing, the second loved it. If you can, try to borrow one from a friend for the duration of the time you need it or for a "test drive".

On the extras section, I think a soft carrier would be at the top of my "wants" on that list.

I'd nix the soft brush and comb for a while - most newborns don't have enough hair to "groom"

I think our little one will need a brush from day 1...we could see lots of hair on his head during the ultrasound! It's funny because whenever I had dreams about the baby before this last ultrasound, I always dreamt of a baby with a full head of hair!

[Sheherezade]

Edit--TMI

[PrincessFiona]

I think how much you spend also depends on your expectations. Does everything have to be brand new, or can it be 'gently used'. I got a great buggy for Aidan that looks brand new at Once Upon a Child. I paid #15 for it. I also got his bassinet there with mattress for $29.99 and when he outgrew that I got his crib there for $19.99. It's all in good condition.

I also say the less laundry the better....I would stay away from newborn clothes and start with 3 months...but in all likelihood you'll find that you'll get a lot of the outfits for the first year or two from grandma and grandpa and friends....and second hand is good too. I never did side-snap t-shirt...I just bought enough onesies for a week and washed as necessary. I also always bought socks that were all the same color (so if one got lost I didn't have to throw out the other ) They get lost a LOT when they get old enough to pull them off of their feet.

I'd even say that the infant bathtub isn't a necessity. We used ours about 3 times. I usually ended up putting a towel in the sink, filling it up and bathing him there......

I think with planning residency can be a good time, Cheri.... I'm glad to hear you guys are thinking about it...it's so exciting.

kris

[Rapunzel]

Edit--TMI

Oh great! My curiosity is now piqued and I WANT to know whatever dirty details you spilled!

Jennifer

My changes
Tooling around
_____Car seat. Just get the convertable from the get go.


Beds and linens
_____a zip up baby bag or two
_____one mattress pads.
_____One to two waterproof liners (for crib or bassinet).

Diaper duty
_____the hspt will likely give you a diaper bag. okay the formulaco will.

Dressing baby
_____Four sleeping outfits or onesies (one-piece sleepers), preferably with attached feet.
_____Six side-snap T-shirts.
_____Onesies didn't get much use the first 3 months.
_____A small baby cap (although the hospital will probably give you one).
__________Except for photo ops, my boys lived in their sleep clothes.

Summer babies
_____Brimmed hat.

Winter babies
_____Snowsuit or heavy bunting.
_____Heavy stroller blanket.
_____Warm knit hat.

Feeding time
If you're planning to breast-feed:
_____Two or three nursing bras. Buy ONE in your last month, then wait for your milk to come in to see what size you really are. I went up 2 cup sizes from what I was at 38 weeks in a 12 hour period when my milk came in.
_____A box of washable or disposable breast pads. I prefer the washable, just make sure you put them in a closed lingerie bag before tossing into the washer.
_____Breast pump if you expect to use one.
_____Four small baby bottles with newborn nipples for expressed breast milk.

_____Insulated bottle holder for diaper bag (the hospital may give you one).
_____Three packs of cloth diapers or burp cloths.

If you're planning to bottle-feed
_____Six 4- to 5-ounce bottles, plus nipples, rings, and a dishwasher basket if you use a dishwasher.

Bathing/grooming
_____regular towels
_____Two packs of baby washcloths.
_____ Baby body wash that doubles as shampoo.
_____Pair of blunt-tip scissors or baby-sized nail clippers.
_____A&D ointment, a big tube lasted through our oldest's whole diaper experience and through 6 mos of the younger one.
_____Infant bathtub. They sell these padded seats that you just lay in the big tub and hang up to dry for $15 or so. We just tossed the baby tub once the boys could sit up.
_____Soft brush and comb.
_____Mild laundry detergent, just use "free" versions of whatever you use. OXYCLEAN is on my must by list tho.

Medicine chest essentials
_____A pain-and-fever reducer recommended by your baby's doctor, such as Infant's Tylenol.
_____Cotton pads/swabs.
_____Nasal aspirator.
_____Digital thermometer.
_____Rubbing alcohol.
_____Petroleum jelly.

Keeping baby happy
_____Pacifiers.

Extras: Nice but optional
_____Monitor. Not with older, but invaluable with second kid.
_____Changing table.
_____A rocker or glider.
_____Soft carrier. Found this a MUST in our case.
_____Swing or vibrating bouncy seat.

[SuzySunshine]

Wow, thanks guys this is all a huge help!

[houseelf]

Do not forget to add increases for life insurance and disability insurance premiums, perhaps the most important investment of all!

Kelly