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So, my 5 year old and I went to battle this morning, and I lost. Big time. How is it that I let myself be manipulated by a 5 year old? How is that even possible??
My daughter has discovered that she can get me to do anything if she uses the "bad mommy" angle. She's sneaky about it, too. Today, she asked me (politely) to help her with a project she was doing while I was dilegently working at the computer. I helped, but then told her I had to get back to work. She was good for a while, but then quietly said "I don't like it when you ignore me." Ouch. Then, she asked me to go out in the garden with her to work out our garden plan. I said ok and we got dressed appropriately. Once outside, she asked if we could talk while we were on the swings. So we did. It was fun. Then I went over and started raking. She asked if we could do a project together. I told her she could join me raking. She declined-no surprise. Then I said we could weed this section of garden. No takers. Then, I teased her that she only wanted to do a project that SHE picked. She retaliated with "Why are you always so mad?" I told her I wasn't mad, but I wanted to get some work done. She continued "You're mean. Daddy plays with us." I explained that Daddy works all day and plays with them on the weekends and before bed.....but I'm home all day and can't play ALL the time. I like to do other things and have my own projects. She went at me again "You're always mad at me. I don't like you." I TRIED to walk away.....I told her that she had hurt my feelings and that I was going inside. She followed me and I....burst into tears.
I ended up telling my FIVE year old that I need to do my own things and that I don't like feeling like a bad mommy when "mommyhood" is my top priority these days. Further, I told her that it was hard for me to give up every other project in my life and then get yelled at for doing a bad job. I also told her that maybe I should get someone else to come do this, because I'm so bad at it.
So, we ended up talking it out. I tried to get to the bottom of her issues with my "anger". Honestly, I think she thinks I'm mad whenever I tell her no or "I'm busy". So I guess I'm mad many times a day!
I apologized for my outburst and told her that she and her brother are my top priority and I wouldn't give them up for the world. She seems fine with it - it helps that she has a NASTY temper herself. Still, I'm wondering how much therapy she's going to need...and how much I need. So, was this just a bad day or did I blow it big time? I've got to be more tuned in to this "bad mommy" angle of hers - seriously, she's working it. And it works......
My daughter has discovered that she can get me to do anything if she uses the "bad mommy" angle. She's sneaky about it, too. Today, she asked me (politely) to help her with a project she was doing while I was dilegently working at the computer. I helped, but then told her I had to get back to work. She was good for a while, but then quietly said "I don't like it when you ignore me." Ouch. Then, she asked me to go out in the garden with her to work out our garden plan. I said ok and we got dressed appropriately. Once outside, she asked if we could talk while we were on the swings. So we did. It was fun. Then I went over and started raking. She asked if we could do a project together. I told her she could join me raking. She declined-no surprise. Then I said we could weed this section of garden. No takers. Then, I teased her that she only wanted to do a project that SHE picked. She retaliated with "Why are you always so mad?" I told her I wasn't mad, but I wanted to get some work done. She continued "You're mean. Daddy plays with us." I explained that Daddy works all day and plays with them on the weekends and before bed.....but I'm home all day and can't play ALL the time. I like to do other things and have my own projects. She went at me again "You're always mad at me. I don't like you." I TRIED to walk away.....I told her that she had hurt my feelings and that I was going inside. She followed me and I....burst into tears.
I ended up telling my FIVE year old that I need to do my own things and that I don't like feeling like a bad mommy when "mommyhood" is my top priority these days. Further, I told her that it was hard for me to give up every other project in my life and then get yelled at for doing a bad job. I also told her that maybe I should get someone else to come do this, because I'm so bad at it. So, we ended up talking it out. I tried to get to the bottom of her issues with my "anger". Honestly, I think she thinks I'm mad whenever I tell her no or "I'm busy". So I guess I'm mad many times a day!
I apologized for my outburst and told her that she and her brother are my top priority and I wouldn't give them up for the world. She seems fine with it - it helps that she has a NASTY temper herself. Still, I'm wondering how much therapy she's going to need...and how much I need. So, was this just a bad day or did I blow it big time? I've got to be more tuned in to this "bad mommy" angle of hers - seriously, she's working it. And it works......
. ) 
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