Speaking of names....

[Amiens]

So would this be cruel? Read the situation and dilemma, and then ask would it be mean.

Let me give you the situation first: We have a really hard time picking out boy's names. For example- Pregnant with Brigham~ we had a couple of names picked out, and held out on telling family members until I was 8 months along when my MIL got it out of Matt. The name we really liked was Jackson Earl (Earl is a family name), anyway my MIL ruined the name for us by saying "oh you can't name the baby that, I will always think of Michael Jackson." GREAT!!! Needless to say I had our son, and he went home unnamed because we were flip flopping on the 2 back ups we had- we chose Brigham- it suits him well.

So there is a name that we both really like for a boy- it's pretty much the only name we can agree on- Preston. Here's the dilemma: it's Matt's brother's middle name, and Matt approached him when we were pregnant with Brigham and said "We like the name Preston, can we use it?" BIL replies : "No, because if I have a boy we are naming him Preston Joshua (BIL's name inverted)" (Umm Matt's comment- Uhh real original.) Now mind you- BIL and wife have 2 girls, and have said they only plan on having 4 children, and they are not having another one for at least two years. Matt said "Well what happens if they have 4 girls, I guess the name is still up for grabs- so we'll have a 5th, a boy and name him Preston."

Anyway, Emma is hung up on a name for a girl that I am not fond of- Brooke. You ask her "Emma, if the baby is a girl what should we name her?" She replies- "Brooke" If you suggest anything else she says "No her name is Brooke!!!" Well, yesterday I asked Emma "What happens if it's a little boy, and you will have another brother. What should we name him?" Emma replies "What do you like mommy?" I told her "I really like the name Preston." Emma- "I love that name! Let's name the baby boy Preston!" :thud: So I look at her and I say "Emma when you see Uncle Josh on Sunday, you tell him 'Uncle Josh if the baby is a boy, he'll be Preston.'"

I doubt she will remember, but was that mean? If you were in our shoes would you try and keep the peace and come up with another name, or say to hell with it and use it anyway? Granted this won't be come a big issue for another week when I find out the sex of the little tyke.

Crystal

PS- I don't hate the name Brooke, I just look at the kids we already have and we already have a Br name. I want a different consonant.

[Flynn]

I think names are "fair game" and whoever has a child and wants to name them that -- go for it. You can't "call" names like we did when we wanted the front seat in the car when we were kids!!!!!!!!!!!

Name the child what you think is good for your immediate family!

[mommax3]

The only reason I would hesitate with the name Preston is because it is your BIL's middle name. Having said that, I would also say that Jackson is a great name and it doesn't matter what your MIL said.....once she had a grandbaby named Jackson, she wouldn't be thinking of the gloved one everytime she heard the name. Maybe you should reconsider Jackson?

When we had our second boy, I asked my oldest what we should name him and he was adamant about naming the baby Thomas. That came about because we had a book about becoming a big brother, and in the story, the new baby was named Thomas, so Luke decided that our baby would be named Thomas also. I wasn't a fan of Thomas for a first name, and hadn't actually considered it at all, but since Luke was so determined, our second baby ended up being named Joel Thomas. So maybe Brooke could be a middle name?

Names are your business and your business only......go with what you want.

Sally

[Auspicious]

I agree that the primary rule is "first come, first served" with baby names, but I think in this case that's trumped (by a hair) by the fact that it's your BIL's own name that he wants to pass to a son. I think you would be within your rights to go with Preston, but I think I would walk away from it. . . maybe . . . it's a tough call.

We have Lisa Jean, Lisa Marie, Levi and Levi, Kaityln and Kayleen, Robert, Robert, Richard, Richard, Richard Jr, Richard Jr and thats just what I can think of without getting out the family tree. Those are siblings, neices and nephews and great neices and nephews. There isn'/wasn't anyof conflict from what I can tell.

[Sheherezade]

We had a name conflict with my brother over a girl's name. We backed down. I think there would have been trouble. You know your family best. You'll have to decide. I can see it going either way.

Well, I like Jackson. Jack was our boy name for Bryn. My only hesitation was that we also lived on Jackson Street -- but we don't any more! Do you think you would call him Jack or Jackson? The only way that would remind me of Michael Jackson would be if you named him Jackson Michael. I'll bet your MIL will a) forget about it or b) get over it after the baby arrives.

The Preston thing is a touchy issue. I agree with the "first come, first served" with the caveat about it being his middle name. Yikes.

Bryn had a name for Anna, too. Can't remember what it was but she forgot about it quickly!

We had a name conflict with my brother over a girl's name. We backed down. I think there would have been trouble. You know your family best. You'll have to decide. I can see it going either way.

I think thats a really good point, its your family. My family would have no problem with a first come, first served policy or duplicate names, but thats just my family. Everyone is different.

[SuzySunshine]

I think I'm going to have to side with the fact that its his name and he should have the right to name his son that. I know I would be mad if someone took my husband's name without asking when they know we're planning to have chidren and might want to use it.

My dad had always wanted a son and instead he got three daughters, when my aunt, his youngest sister was pregnant this last year she asked all three of us girls if we would mind if she used dad's name. I thought it was very nice of her to ask and we all gave her permission though I have no doubt that she would have not used it if we asked her not to.

I do have 1st cousins that share the same name but they are female, I guess that makes a little bit of a difference to me because family names don't tend to be passed down in females as much.

But like someone else said, you know your family better than we do. If its going to cause a major riff I would proceed with caution.

[PrincessFiona]

I think you have to do what is best for your family (Remember, Aidan's middle name is 'Adolf' after Thomas' dad despite the controvery it caused). That being said, I think you have to keep Preston as a middle name and go with a first name. If you like the sound of Preston, there is always Tristan (I just heard that last week..though writing it..it looks kind of funny) or...Aidek :>

It's tough to be in a situation like that. We named our oldest Andrew and then a friend of mine who had an older Andrew was kind of offended. She made a point of saying that she had named her son Andrew first. Her daughter was then 'Avery'..and when we found out we were pregnant with Amanda she said "you may NOT name her Avery"

People can be so funny. Myself included of course.

kris

[Amiens]

Being the "chicken" that I can be at times, and I hate conflict- we probably will not use the name Preston. Part of Matt wants to go ahead and say tough luck and use it, but he feels the same as me.

The name Jackson is still ruined- MIL hasn't forgotten, and has brought it up a couple of times how grateful she is we didn't name Brigham that name. She made that comment during the recent trials.

Matt and I are determined this time to stand our ground and not tell family the names we are thinking of. I feel like I don't need comments from the peanut gallery. I don't mind telling friends because well we don't have to interact with them at family get togethers.

We have one other name that we are flip floppy about for a boy, but scared of the increase in popularity. I know popularity shouldn't be a bad word, but when I take my kid to the park and hear "Emma" shouted from 10 different moms and my own daughter looks at me in confusion. It makes step back and think hmmm......

Luckily this will all be narrowed down to one sex in the next week.

Crystal

I say BIL should be honored that you considered using his name (could be interpreted as naming on honor of him, after all), and it was v. nice of your dh to ask ahead of time.

People and their opinions really stink when it comes to baby names if you ask me. Go ahead and snicker behind the parents back AFTER they name their kid (like when dh's cousin named his kid Tane). Hey - I'm married to a guy named Jigar - who am I to talk??

[Rapunzel]

My husband's brother and sil had twin girls about nine months ago. One of them is named "Rose" which is one of my twin girls middle names (who was 5 at the time of the birth). It annoyed me for a few weeks. But, honestly, it's more of a complement than anything else (they obviously't really liked the name) so I don't care anymore.

Maybe your bil will be touchy about his nephew sharing his name for a bit but he'd have to be particularly juvenile to let it affect him for very long.

As far as the entire "Jackson" and MIL thing goes: I really love the name Jackson. And, I particularly like the name "Jack". Very nice - very masculine. And, I do NOT think of Michael Jackson when I hear "Jackson". Actually, I think of Andrew Jackson (the President, that is). It seems more of a rugged, manly man name than anything else. I'd just name him the original boys' name you had picked for Brigham and tell your MIL to go fly a kite.

Jennifer

[SuzySunshine]

I agree about the name Jackson, its a great name. I also agree with you about not telling family your names. My MIL will be the first one to derail anything we pick out and I"m not letting that happen!

[SueC]

Yeah, I would definitely not tell them when you finally do settle on a name. I personally see nothing wrong with using Preston, but if they are going to be pissy about it and you want to keep the peace, I guess you should avoid it. I personally would be flattered if somebody wanted to name their son after my dh. There were multiple names amongst the cousins in my family and it never was a big deal--I was a good 10 years younger than the other "Sue" type name so I don't think anybody cared.