Favorite pregnancy/parenting zingers

[BonBon]

Oh Alison...they just don't get it, do they? :nono: DH always just gives me his stock line, "You're pregnant!"

Ahhh, I forgot about the boy/girl comments. Nellie, you KNOW that if you guys decide to go for #3 that people are going assume that the only reason is because you have two girls. And if you have a boy and stop at 3, then you'll have stopped because you "finally got your boy". Once people found out that #2 was a girl, they announced that we had our "perfect family". Yes, the proper ratio of gender = Perfect Family.

I never quite understood the "adopted" qualifier either.

My IL's response when we told them I was pregnant with #2:

"So soon?"

Not followed up w/ANYTHING else. Not congratulations -- nothing. That was the end of the conversation.

[DCJenn]

When my mom called my grandparents to tell them that she was pregnant with me, my grandmother said, "well, that was stupid, you just got that big raise."

So, of course my mother got hysterical and hung up on her and then my grandfather called back and started the conversation with, "I understand your mother upset you...." but then he went on to tell her not to worry because I was a redheaded baby girl. kinda freaky that he knew that since she's a brunette and dad was blond.

[HeartRN]

Oh yeah, I LOVE how everyone shares their nightmare pregnancy and labor delivery stories with the expectant mom. I forgot about that.

Kelly

Guilty as charged! If they ask, I will tell, but I always attach the disclaimer "My labor doesn't have to be yours, and I hope it isn't!"

My personal favorite...."Bet you didn't know your ass was pregnant, too!" Granted, it was said in a light-hearted manner, but I certainly didn't take it light-heartedly! And for the record.....my ass WAS pregnant! :!

[SueC]

I hate the stupid assumptions people make regarding gender. It drove me crazy when we had our second girl. We actually WANTED another girl and were thrilled (we would have been happy with a boy, too but we loved that our girls would have a sister. After Mitchell was born, we always got the "Aww, you've finally got your boy"... and "I'll bet your husband is so happy", which again, we were thrilled to have him, but that wasn't why we went for a third. I felt like they weren't giving my dh much credit at all, to assume that he needed male offspring to be happy.

I felt like they weren't giving my dh much credit at all, to assume that he needed male offspring to be happy.

Exactly.

Those are the same types of things we heard about having 2 girls. People need to turn their filters on.

[Thirteen]

Overheard last week:
One student to another, in my class - "Dude, she's gettin' kinda fat."

*snicker*

[MrsK]

Yeah, I just loved the "you are so big" "are you having twins?" comments. (I gained less than 20 lbs during my pregnancy and every pound was hard-earned.) I used to just look at them and say, "Well, I am 8-and-a-half-months pregnant (jack*ss)." Also hated all those people that told me how wonderful they felt when they were pregnant. Made me wanna puke on their shoes.

[GrayMatterWife]

My boss (a JUDGE--someone who is supposed to show good JUDGMENT) said to me, when I told him I was pregnant with my second: "Oh, we just had one. We thought that was the way to go. One is best."

My boss then said to me, when I told him I was pregnant with my third: "Oh, I thought you were done. You had a boy and a girl. Didn't really need more, huh? Guess this was a surprise!" Uh, only to you.

My MIL said to me--without seeing me--over the phone--"So, you must be SO fat!" No, actually, I'm NOT fat. I'm pregnant. And I was very conscientious about what I ate and gained about 25-28 pounds--well within the proper range for my height and pre-preggo weight. Bitch. The fact that YOU got fat and never even tried to lose it and now endlessly complain about weight you gained 40 years ago should not be projected onto me as MY issue.

By rude eco-freak who thinks that reproduction is a crime against the Earth: "Just like a conservative! Hahaha! Trying to ruin the planet singlehandedly?" He was being light-hearted and meant it as a joke. I badly wanted to respond, "No, just trying to make sure that liberals are out-reproduced" but I held my tongue.

At my church (Episcopal): "So, you'll have three now. Does anyone do that anymore?" I can think of maybe--MAYBE--five families at our church with more than two children.

From a mother of a girl in DS's class: "Wow. So now you'll have three. It's going to be hard to be there for all your kids now." Why? Because people assume that I will not cut back on my selfish pursuits to sacrifice for my children? Thanks a lot.

Now, people REGULARLY volunteer to me: "So, you're done, right?" I just want to respond: "No, we were planning to go for it right now. But you're here and we'd be embarrassed to put on a show."

By rude eco-freak who thinks that reproduction is a crime against the Earth: "Just like a conservative! Hahaha! Trying to ruin the planet singlehandedly?" He was being light-hearted and meant it as a joke. I badly wanted to respond, "No, just trying to make sure that liberals are out-reproduced" but I held my tongue.

We get this, too. I wish I had a good response.

And, "I know what your husband does for a living, so I know you know how to prevent this!"

[scrub-jay]

We get this, too. I wish I had a good response.

And, "I know what your husband does for a living, so I know you know how to prevent this!"

When I tell ppl how many children DH and I are considering (anywhere between 2-5) I get comments like that too. I would just reply with something along the lines of: I think it is very important that people like YOU prevent it, but I feel my genes offer a lot to the world. muhahaha.

[Pollyanna]

To which you should respond, " well no birth control is 100% effective, so given the amount we have sex times a 1% failure rate I am honestly surprised we don't have more children". They will never mention your family size again

[alison]

Tara, that is hilarious!

[scrub-jay]

To which you should respond, " well no birth control is 100% effective, so given the amount we have sex times a 1% failure rate I am honestly surprised we don't have more children". They will never mention your family size again

To which you should respond, " well no birth control is 100% effective, so given the amount we have sex times a 1% failure rate I am honestly surprised we don't have more children". They will never mention your family size again

I am absolutely using this.