Favorite pregnancy/parenting zingers

[MrsK]

And another one I think I've shared before from post-pregnancy... said to me by a lady sitting at the table next to us in a restaurant while she was fawning over my mixed race daughter - "How long have you had her?" My response was something like "since conception." Cue awkward silence.

You know, I think someone wrote in to Miss Manners about this one too! The writer said that her husband was Chinese. She was caucasian and their baby looked Chinese. The suggested response was, "She takes after her father." The rationale being that when the child is older, you don't want her to feel awkward explaining her background.

Regarding the "hands full" comment. . . I've never taken offense to it either and I'm probably guilty of saying it to other moms too. I guess it just is one of those obvious and unhelpful comments when someone truly has their hands full. Or perhaps it implies that they have too much on their hands/too many children though I've never taken it or intended it that way.

[Pollyanna]

What's wrong with the hands full comment? I have one kid and when she decides to have a meltdown and throws things out of her stroller, I feel like it's a relief when someone acknowledges that I've got my hands full.

Someone telling you that you have your hands full is offensive?

It's not so much the words in that comment that are offensive it is when people say it with an eyeroll and a ,"why would you have so many kids" inference under the comment. That is what is offensive, the "you have your hands full" statement from a well meaning person is not offensive in the least.

[alison]

Gotcha, Tara. I was just a little worried, because I've definitely said it more than once!

Yesterday in the store, a kind man said, "Well, look at your cart full of angels!" They're not always angels, and I am overwhelmed. But I get tired of people feeling sorry for me, and it is so refreshing when people ENJOY my kids!

[fluffhead]

I've thought of tasering the people who make "Mr. Mom" comments to me when I'm out with the brood.
DW has gotten comments at the hospital along the lines of "you people breed like rats"....lovely.

[BonBon]

I agree that the hands full comment is all about the delivery.

One of my favorite zingers is when DD1 was a week old, we took DS to the hospital lab for some bloodwork. It was early November, but temps were in the mid-high 60s. I was wearing a t-shirt and DD was wearing a neck-to-toe outfit. The old bag volunteer at the desk came over to peer at DD and said "Your mother must not love you. You have no hat on." Seriously, what is UP with old people wanting your baby to wear a flipping hat?! We were inside, for crying out loud.

I have some other zingers, but they're quite painful ones.

[BonBon]

DW has gotten comments at the hospital along the lines of "you people breed like rats"....lovely.

Nice. Idiots.

[Michele]

Along the breeding like rats thing...one of Russ' old resident mates posted a FB status about liking fried pickles, someone commented that she must be pregnant, Russ commented that since he likes fried pickles could he be pregnant, and the response was no but your wife probably is. :insert eye roll:

[Thirteen]

"thank God it's a boy!"
...what makes you think I'd feel ANY differently if it was a girl?

[scrub-jay]

"thank God it's a boy!"
...what makes you think I'd feel ANY differently if it was a girl?

haha, we got "Thank God its a girl!!!"

I'll toss mine in the mix:

From MIL (upon hearing the news):

"Oh NO!!! What are you going to do?!"

Me: wth?! What do you think I am going to do? I am going to give birth and have a beautiful, brilliant, loved child. GRRR. This is one of the more subtle ones I can think of.

[DCJenn]

Well, Fluff, she could always go into painful clinical detail about how no, you don't exactly breed like rats along with lots of rat sexlife details. that should shut down that line of conversation forever.

j.

[Phoebe]

Someoone said to DH, "I am going to take you to the urologist after this".

[MrsK]

When DrK and I were engaged a casual friend asked him if we were planning to have children. When DrK said yes, his friend responded "Then you might as well slam your d*ck in a car door right now cuz you'll never use it again after you have kids."

When DrK and I were engaged a casual friend asked him if we were planning to have children. When DrK said yes, his friend responded "Then you might as well slam your d*ck in a car door right now cuz you'll never use it again after you have kids."

Holy crap!

[scrub-jay]

When DrK and I were engaged a casual friend asked him if we were planning to have children. When DrK said yes, his friend responded "Then you might as well slam your d*ck in a car door right now cuz you'll never use it again after you have kids."

WTH?! I *almost* feel bad for the friend. Sheesh!