We just got back from a trip to visit DH's sister's family. She is a married, working mom with two kids who aren't in school yet (one will start kindergarten in September).
SIL is smart, funny, and generous to a fault. I like her but haven't spent a lot of time with her when we both have had kids.
This week was fun BUT....(you knew it was coming ) SIL is one of those people who travels a lot with her job. Grandma and my BIL pick up the slack a lot. Okay...different strokes....you know the drill...no biggie.
Here's the thing. She doesn't play or truly interact with her kids. EVER. She pulls stuff out and says "play." If there was any other adult playing with her kids or mine she would disapear....take a nap, go on a walk, answer email....she did NOT participate but took the time to do "her" stuff. HUH????
At one point early in the morning (when DH and I were packing sandwiches and feeding her kids -- getting ready for the day) she poked her head out of her room and said "oh great...you guys took care of everything. I'll be out when you're done and I'm showered."
I don't think she sees the value in 1.) interacting with her kids on their terms and 2.) participating in their lives when they are not upset and needing her.
I was just....surprised. She's a fixer. If they "need" her she's there to "do" stuff but the regular interactions aren't valued very much it seems. She sees her kids so infrequently and yet she was SO happy when anyone else took over the situation. Keeping her off her cell phone, blackberry or email was a task. I never noticed this with her before.
I am NOT the perfect parent. That's not my point. It was just so weird to see her priorities laid out so blatently and her kids were not even in the top three.
SIL is smart, funny, and generous to a fault. I like her but haven't spent a lot of time with her when we both have had kids.
This week was fun BUT....(you knew it was coming ) SIL is one of those people who travels a lot with her job. Grandma and my BIL pick up the slack a lot. Okay...different strokes....you know the drill...no biggie.
Here's the thing. She doesn't play or truly interact with her kids. EVER. She pulls stuff out and says "play." If there was any other adult playing with her kids or mine she would disapear....take a nap, go on a walk, answer email....she did NOT participate but took the time to do "her" stuff. HUH????
At one point early in the morning (when DH and I were packing sandwiches and feeding her kids -- getting ready for the day) she poked her head out of her room and said "oh great...you guys took care of everything. I'll be out when you're done and I'm showered."
I don't think she sees the value in 1.) interacting with her kids on their terms and 2.) participating in their lives when they are not upset and needing her.
I was just....surprised. She's a fixer. If they "need" her she's there to "do" stuff but the regular interactions aren't valued very much it seems. She sees her kids so infrequently and yet she was SO happy when anyone else took over the situation. Keeping her off her cell phone, blackberry or email was a task. I never noticed this with her before.
I am NOT the perfect parent. That's not my point. It was just so weird to see her priorities laid out so blatently and her kids were not even in the top three.
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