Okay, don't judge me ...

From the backseat I hear "We can't turn left you dumbass" from my angelic four year old.

Thanks Laura, I needed that laugh.

Jane - no judgement here. Although I've miraculously managed to avoid my kids saying the big ones, Quinn has dropped a few well-timed "Dammit!"s, and one "Who the hell is that?" Mostly mine will recognize that these are words that I only say when I'm really frustrated, so they'll earnestly inquire "Why did you say 'shit' mom?" A few weeks ago I'd let Quinn go back to the toy section of World Market to look for something he'd dropped while I waited for the staff to assemble my gift bags. When he didn't turn up after a couple of minutes, I went back there - and he was gone. I went straight to the bathroom to look for him (I'd been standing in front of the store exit, so I knew he was still in the building), and he walks out, drying his hands. I said "Quinn! You scared the hell out of me!" and he spent the rest of the afternoon saying "I'm sorry I scared the hell out of you, Mommy."

My friend had a habit of saying M*thrF'er, and thought she'd toned it down in time to avoid her son picking it up. Then one day she stubbed her toe really hard while walking around her kitchen. She said "MOTHER ..." and her son (w/o looking up from his train table) said "F*CKER" as though they'd been playing a word association game or something.

[SuzySunshine]

I say jackass all the time in the car - I'm just waiting for A to repeat it, we've all been there!

[peggyfromwastate]

We've been through the dammit era too...

I really started to clamp down on my own bad language when DH started to lecture Kate about music that has bad language and Kate said *Well, Mom said that yesterday...*. It's like I need a parental advisory sticker or something to warn DH that occassionally I lose it...

Sigh.

Sometimes nothing fits like *Dammit*...

In traffic, when talking about other drivers I've been saying *Doofus* which was a word that Alison used a while back and I think it's been a good sub for... you know... jackass, or idiot... Plus I like to say Doofus.

[diggitydot]

I'm laughing so hard that even the dog woke up long enough to give the "WTF" look.

I admittedly have a mouth that could make a longshoreman blush. My kids do not swear, even a little. We've had long talks with them since they were all very little about what constitute "big people words" and "little kid words". So far, so good.

And then there's my sister. The 6th grade teacher who won't even let her kids say "poop". (It has to be "poo".) Last week she's driving my 9 y/o nephew and his buddies to football camp, about 40 minutes away from her home. For some unknown reason, my darling nephew is obsessed with hobos. He doesn't call them bums or homeless people. They're hobos. So he an his gaggle of 9 y/o friends are pointing them out on the streets of Portland. "There's a hobo," and "Whoa, there's another," filled the back of my sister's SUV. The boys soon saw a woman hobo and couldn't quite figure out how to classify her. One of the boys said something about a bag lady. To which, my darling nephew transforms into his potty-mouthed aunt and says, "Hey, that's a hobag!"

My mortified sister just about shit herself right there in the carpool lane. When she read my poor nephew the riot act, he looked at her innocently and with a slightly proud-of-his-own-cleverness look said, "What, mom? Hobo + bag lady = hobag!"

Trying not to laugh hysterically, my sister calmly explained to him that no, that is decidedly NOT what that term means and he needs to not use it ever again.

Me? I laughed so hard I cried when she called to tell me.

[PrincessFiona]

LOL I'm late catching up on threads, but there is no judgment here.

Aidan is in montessori school and they learn the sounds of the letters before they learn the names of the letters.

When he was reviewing "f" he did "ppphhhh .... like phawk"

I. Nearly died when the teacher mentioned it to me. We aren't big f users but it does sometimes slip out.

[Ladybug122]

we had a problem with this about 8 months or so ago... Very embarrassing, especially when he did it at daycare. In my defense, he totally picked it up from DH. Anyway, we ignored it for months...didn't work. So, in tune with my usual parenting strategy which is to not make a big deal out of most things, but really go nuts when it counts, one day, I waited until he said the word and I acted totally shocked and immediately put him in time out. Said, "that's not a nice word, we don't say that word in our house, and I never want to hear you say it again." It only took about 2 or 3 punishments for him to catch on. As a side note, I did feel sort of guilty with the surprise attack, but hey, it worked. Now he is the "bad word police" and will tattle on DH if he says anything, as well as tattling on anyone else (my family is frequently offending...).
However, once in a great while, he'll test me out and say a word rhyming with the curse word he used (f-word). he'll say "oh, duck" and look at my reaction... little stinker...

[JC76]

This thread made me laugh outloud. I can only imagine what sort of stuff will come out of my son's mouth someday. My husband and I are the WORST.

As a teacher, I have to keep a straight face when kids says stuff ( and follow the discipline rules)

but the whole family was at the beach earlier this week and my kids started pretending they were me at school and saying "Korah, pick that shit up!" (we were talking about what names are in-style for different ages and they thought the "names starting with K" phenomena was noteworthy) "Take out your textbooks @$#%%^$!" etc. and they were rolling on the floor laughing as they have never heard me swear.

I was afraid something would pop out of my mouth when teaching so I practiced my own all-purpose word that sounds sort of like Oops-sa-lah and my students love it. I trained an entire third grade to say "Tarnation!" and their parents wrote me thank you notes.

[HouseofWool]

I trained an entire third grade to say "Tarnation!" and their parents wrote me thank you notes.

I love it!