stressed

[MrsK]

Where does he sleep well? Is it possible that it is something in the crib? The feel of the sheets, the crinkle of the mattress cover... Babies are so weird about sensations.

If a bed time routine isn't working and what you are doing during the day is, can you try to replicate that?

That's just it. During the day, we put him down in the crib and he sleeps without any protest. We've tried adjusting the temperature in his room (perhaps it's warmer during the day), the light, the noise (leaving the tv on in the next room), etc. I've tried putting him in the crib at night and walking away as I do during the day and he freaks out. I've tried singing, shushing, putting him in the crib once he is asleep, etc. and he still freaks out. It seems to be more about the time than the routine.

Shakti - I've used the wipes when he makes a mess during the day. Sometimes it's enough, sometimes it is not.

Ultimately, I know we are going to have to impose a bedtime routine. I just don't know when to start it -- at what age, not what time.

[DCJenn]

Our experience is obviously unique but Nikolai moved from the Russian NICU to the orphanage when he was four months old. From then on he was on a never-to-be-deviated-from routine. He is the greatest sleeper EVER. He's in bed at 8:00pm every night unless we're doing something (like going out for dinner). In fact, if he's tired, he'll even suggest going to bed. If we've had a late night, the next day we'll put him to bed earlier and he's fine with it.

When we brought him back from Russia, I stuck to the same routines, generally. It was GREAT. Of course when he dropped the morning hour and a half nap, I had to make a huge adjustment to MY day. However, even now he does infinitely better when we stick to the same general routine.

Jenn

[moonlight]

Our experience is obviously unique but Nikolai moved from the Russian NICU to the orphanage when he was four months old. From then on he was on a never-to-be-deviated-from routine. He is the greatest sleeper EVER. He's in bed at 8:00pm every night unless we're doing something (like going out for dinner). In fact, if he's tired, he'll even suggest going to bed. If we've had a late night, the next day we'll put him to bed earlier and he's fine with it.

When we brought him back from Russia, I stuck to the same routines, generally. It was GREAT. Of course when he dropped the morning hour and a half nap, I had to make a huge adjustment to MY day. However, even now he does infinitely better when we stick to the same general routine.

Jenn

Kids like this is what keeps me going on this schedule. It was hard to get started with it. BUT WOW do I love the fact that my 2 month old (nearly 3mo) is sound alseep and it's only 8:41pm. Thanks Jenn... that gives me hope! LOL!

[moonlight]

That's just it. During the day, we put him down in the crib and he sleeps without any protest. We've tried adjusting the temperature in his room (perhaps it's warmer during the day), the light, the noise (leaving the tv on in the next room), etc. I've tried putting him in the crib at night and walking away as I do during the day and he freaks out. I've tried singing, shushing, putting him in the crib once he is asleep, etc. and he still freaks out. It seems to be more about the time than the routine.

Shakti - I've used the wipes when he makes a mess during the day. Sometimes it's enough, sometimes it is not.

Ultimately, I know we are going to have to impose a bedtime routine. I just don't know when to start it -- at what age, not what time.

I dont' know... I think my Dd was a bit too young for a night time schedule at 6 weeks old. We were still on whatever feeding and sleeping schedule she felt like. It sounds to me your doing everything right. I can't imagine what's keeping him freaked of the bed at night.

Are you concerned because you’re going back to work soon? <HATS OFF to all you working moms!!> I can't remember if you said anything about your child care arrangements. I know when I worked at the day care in college the nursery teachers were wonderful about keeping to a schedule for the babies. The parents loved it because it made life for them easier at home. If he is going to a center he'll have some gentle help in getting a routine going, maybe?

[alison]

Dd loves her bath-swaddle-bottle-binky-bed routine. From start to finish, it's something like 20 minutes. Dh does the swaddling and binky parts of it 75% of the time. I'm a little nervous, because he'll be out of town from Sunday to Wednesday. I hope she won't know the difference between dh's brother and dh, and I can use him for those parts of the routine.

Moonlight, it sounds like things are really coming together! She did wonderfully at dinner, so kudos to you!

[MrsK]

I am concerned because of my return to work. Also, DrK is starting night float so I'll be dealing with our nightly 3-4 hour tantrum alone.

I spoke with a friend tonight who is a sleep psychiatrist. He says that BabyK is too young for an evening routine and suggested that we start the routine at about 6 months -- which sounds late to me given what you all have said.

[moonlight]

I am concerned because of my return to work. Also, DrK is starting night float so I'll be dealing with our nightly 3-4 hour tantrum alone.

I spoke with a friend tonight who is a sleep psychiatrist. He says that BabyK is too young for an evening routine and suggested that we start the routine at about 6 months -- which sounds late to me given what you all have said.

To me it sounds like you a mini night schedule and I think that is such a smart idea. I didn't know up from down at six weeks! Now, we've just got to talk your Ds into believing it's a good thing as well!

[HouseofWool]

With Caleb, I started him on a schedule at 6 weeks. It was either that or lose my sanity entirely. For him it worked. I'm sure that I have any good suggestions for MrsK.

[Pollyanna]

I never, ever have bothered with a bedtime routine. Some babies crave it, mine didn't. With all 3 I'd wait for the big "bedtime" until I was going to bed (for the first 2-3 months). 2 of my kids slept through the night at 8 weeks, one (Quinn) took more like a year.

I didn't bathe them every day, either. Every other was more like it. If they made themselves into a big mess inbetween baths I'd use a baby wipe to clean them up (works great on hair, too).

There is no reason to make having a newborn be more work, more steps, or more stressful than it needs to be.

This is us too. Baths were more like on a weekly basis. We just do the "top and tail" method of keeping baby clean (bottom, face and hands) with either a wipe or washcloth. I have always found that our babies fell into their own schedule eventually. You could just tell when they needed to go down for the night. Of course with our first we were much more scheduled, now it is just not possible.

[Pollyanna]

I am concerned because of my return to work. Also, DrK is starting night float so I'll be dealing with our nightly 3-4 hour tantrum alone.

I spoke with a friend tonight who is a sleep psychiatrist. He says that BabyK is too young for an evening routine and suggested that we start the routine at about 6 months -- which sounds late to me given what you all have said.

I agree, 6 months is more realistic for a bedtime routine that will really stick. I know those nightly crying sessions are exhausting and feel like they will never end bit I can "almost" guarantee that they will be done by 12 weeks. Just about when you think you cannot take one more night of crying it will get less and less and you will be running to make sure the baby is breathing.