Stupid questions from first time mom

[Vishenka69]

I've realized that collectively the parents on this site are more informative and helpful that any book, so decided to have a thread of all kinds of questions that pop into my (and possibly other first time parents' heads during the day). I can spend hours trying to find answers or just come here and get them from a trusted source.

1. Why do babies make very loud quacking and hacking noises and when do they stop? It literally sounds like she's trying to cough up a hairball. She only does this in her sleep but is often loud enough to wake me up, then I spend hours lying awake and trying to convince myself that she's not choking on anything.

2. I keep hearing about the wonderful new baby smell, but DD either smells like spit up milk or poop or both. Did I end up with the stinkiest baby somehow?

3. I'm constantly worried about either under or over dressing her. I remember hearing about the extra layer rule but can't seem to figure out what kind of layer it should be. She doesn't seem to be bothered by any of her outfits, so I'm wondering if it's just my problem and not to stress too much about it.

4. I'm also paranoid about giving her sunburn. I've been told that I shouldn't use sunblock until she's 6 months but I also don't want to spend the whole summer indoors. I can't figure out how to make sure that none of her skin is exposed to the sun at any point in time. I can keep her in the shade in the backyard but what do I do while walking in the park?

5. She's refusing to be on her stomach unless it's against either of us. Whenever I try to put her down on her stomach, she starts screaming within 10 seconds. Should I keep insisting on tummy-time or it's ok to give up for now (she's 2 months)?

[HouseofWool]

Julie - thanks for making me laugh today. It is really hard being a first time parent, especially when you don't a have a live body (mom or good friend) you can ask these types of questions. Here are my best (or worst) answers...

1. I have no idea why they do it. Maybe it is some sort of built in mechanism so we are assured they are still breathing. Caleb snored so loudly as an infant that it was unbearable. He had tonsils and adnoids removed when he was three. That's when he stopped. Otherwise, I stopped being bothered when I moved them to their own sleeping quarters.

2. C also smelled like puke all.the.time. The new baby smell pretty much comes from Johnson and Johnson.

3. I never really understood that either. When the weather is mild, I put a onsie plus an outfit. So, that is one more layer than I wear, cuz I may not be a fashionista, but I wouldn't be caught dead in a cotton shirt that snapped in the crotch with lap shoulders.

4. I never really figured out the sunburn thing either. I put sunscreen on them and went. So far so good. I did keep to the shade, but I was tired of being cooped up as well.

5. At that age, tummy time was probably 15-30 seconds before they started howling like banshees. Fuck it. My sanity is more important than their neck muscles. As she gets bigger it will get better. Have you tried draping her over a bobby so that she can move her arms? That can stretch it out to like 20 seconds before the hysterics start.

And my apologies if this is too flippant, but it has been that kind of night around here.

[Michele]

Re: Stupid questions from first time mom

3. She'll fuss if she's too hot or cold. You are probably over stressing.

4. Sunblock too early is better than sunburn. But a little sun is probably ok too. After all it's how we convert vitamin D into it's usable form. Hats and umbrellas create shade as well.


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[Michele]

Re: Stupid questions from first time mom

5. Mine got tummy time when they wanted it. Both walk just fine now. And can hold their own heads up while they walk.


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[alison]

5. Another way to do tummy time is to hold the baby against your chest and she'll lift her head.
We didn't have this problem, because tummy time was the lesser of two evils for dd, who hated being on her back because of reflux.

At dd's 6-month check up, the pediatrician said we could have started with sunblock earlier than 6 months. Maybe you could bring this issue up at your next well-baby appt., and she what your pediatrician says. I went all nutso and bought Mustela sunblock, but it made dd look as pale as a ghost. That stuff comes out thick and doesn't spread well. Dd would get so pissed off that I finally switched to Neutrogena Baby. Just FYI, if you're in the market for sunblock. Hats are great, too. Start her with hats very early, because if you have a crazy dd like mine, who takes a few days to get used to new hats, she'll just yank the thing off her head every time...

I can't believe you have a baby, J. Weren't we just PMing each other about how we're both happy sitting atop our fences?

[DCJenn]

If you're worried about the sunscreen thing, (and I was) I got the fancy schmancy stuff from Whole Foods.

Jenn

[HouseofWool]

I will say that now that the kids are older, I do find that I like to nuzzle into their necks and smell them... Or maybe I am just a wacko who needs a life.

[MrsK]

1. Sorry, I'm not familiar with the quacking sound.

2. I agree with the Johnson & Johnson comment. But I also think my baby smells delicious most of the time.

3. An extra layer means that if you are comfortable in a t-shirt and shorts, dress the baby in long sleeves and leggings.

4. I read that the precaution against sunblock before 6 months old is really more to avoid giving parents a false sense of security. Treat her like a little vampire. No direct sunlight until she's past 6 months and then uses sunscreen. Hats, shades, umbrellas, etc when out of doors.

5. They all hate tummy time. However, time on your and daddy's chest counts as tummy time. So does playing airplane. BabyK loves being an airplane but hated tummy time until just recently. Tummy time goes a lot better at day care when they put another baby in front of him. They lift their heads to look at eachother and forget that they are working. It's like exercising with a friend.

[Pollyanna]

1. Babies make those sounds to scare the heck out of their parents, I'm sure of it

2. I think all that stuff is part of the yummy smell, but I'm weird that way. When our babies were only eating breast milk their poop smelled like buttered popcorn, lol!

3. I'm sure you have her dressed perfectly, try not to worry too much.

4. Don't worry about the sun. Be reasonable when you are out, give her a hat, keep her shaded in the stroller, make sure she is hydrated, etc. Our kiddos are AZ babies and we have never had an issue with a sunburn.

5. Tummy time was one of those, eh, things for us. We just didn't worry about it too much and like Michele's children ours have all gone on to crawl, walk, etc.

[alison]

Buttered popcorn, hahahahahaha! TARA!

[Michele]

Re: Stupid questions from first time mom

That's the smell! Like movie theater buttered popcorn. I couldn't place it!


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[peggyfromwastate]

We were told by the pedi to take the baby out practically naked (for stretches of 15 minutes a time, but we could do 15 min sessions once every hour or so) to help with the jaundice. This was when J was only about 4 days old. I've never really worried too much about the sun. And if you think about it, 15 min direct sun on a newborn (we're talking August rays too) is pretty intense, and she never burned at all. So that should give you at least stretches of 15 minutes where you don't need to worry about it!

They sell all sorts of *rash guard* shirts for babies now with the 50 SPF built in. You could invest in one of those shirts for the swim season. They make super-mild baby suntan lotion now. I don't see why it would be a problem to start putting it on your baby's arms, legs, etc. (I'd ask the pedi of course, but I can't see how it would possibly hurt).

My kids hated tummy time so I just didn't bother. Who needs to provoke more crying? Happily, no long term damage.

For dressing, I just didn't worry about it unless the baby was fussing. I'm amazed at how babies seem to be able to regulate their temperature much better than adults.

I agree with the Johnsons and Johnsons observation. So the sweet baby smell is right after a bath generally! Before they've had a chance to eat and spit up...

[houseelf]

FWIW, not only does my baby smell like some mixture of puke and poop, I do too. I think that it is a real turn on.

Kelly

[peggyfromwastate]

You crack me up Kelly!!!

[DCJenn]

and not to worry, mostly my kid smells like wet dog. When he's fresh out of the bath and in fresh jammies then MAYBE for 10 minutes he smells good.

Just wait until you feed her some 'real' food and your adorable baby has garlic breath. It's alltogether wrong.

Jenn