Stupid questions from first time mom

[Vishenka69]

Thanks girls, those are perfect answers. I feel so much better about not being a complete screw up as a parent, not that my baby has any choice in the matter or can comparison shop for someone better.

More stupid questions.

1. She's now not pooping at night and only peeing. Is that ok? Also unless it's a very heavy diaper, I don't change her in the middle of the night. She seems to be doing ok with that so far.

2. Last night we got a 6 hr stretch for the first time. It was awesome but my boobs were rock solid and woke me up before she was even totally ready to eat. Hopefully last night wasn't a freak accident and we'll have some more good nights. In that case what do I do about my boobs? Will they adjust on their own or should I sleep in cabbage? She still eats every 2-3 hours during the day, so that's the production schedule I'm on.

[SuzySunshine]

Not pooping at night is totally normal and not changing her if it doesn't seem to bother her is totally fine too.

If she does start sleeping like that consistently then yes, your boobs will adjust.

[alison]

Your boobs will adjust. I'd almost forgotten about the rock hard boobs and leaky nipples, ugh! That's so uncomfortable! I remember this when I quit bf-ing early on. You're doing wonderfully!!!!

[MrsK]

1. That's been our MO for a long time.

2. I get up at night to pump. Probably not a solution but that way I'm sure to have enough for day care, baby sitters, daddy's day out, etc.

[Michele]

I never wake a sleeping baby to change a diaper. And I rarely change my kids in the middle of the night even if they wake up. I'm not coherent enough at night. If their skin gets irritated I strip the diapers (cloth)...when their bladders get too big I change to disposables at night.

Along that vein, I don't pump in the middle of the night either. I just let 'em fill up and leak. Mine never slept through the night for more than a day or two in a row anyway. But your boobs will just adjust.

[houseelf]

Add that to the greasy hair, bags under my eyes, pants that are too tight, and a trashed minivan, I'm just a rocking hot babe.

Kelly

[alison]

Kelly! You are hilarious.
I am super grossed out by what I call "formula cheese."
It's so disgusting when it comes up half-digested.

[Amiens]

1. I had a friend who's daughter, seriously, grunted during her sleep. Not a little grunt, a noticeable grunt, sometimes she sounded like a little pig. So noises are completely normal.

2. I think it comes from the Johnson and Johnson lotion. The Body Shop makes a very yummy smelling baby body wash, hair shampoo and lotion: Burunti Baby.

3. I am sure she is fine. She will let you know when she is too hot or cold. I always went by how my kid's hands felt-- cold- I would throw another layer on, hot-- take a layer off.

4. My first definitely inherited my fair skin, and it was very apparent from the get go. I just made sure I put a mild baby sunscreen on her, and had a hat on and the shade pulled on the stroller.

5. For tummy time- we used the Boppy at the beginning and our kids were happy. I also did small increments of time- a minute here and a minute there, until they got used to it. At 2 months their head is disproportionate to their bodies, and at least my kiddos that seemed to be way they would fuss- having to lift up and move their huge head.

Kris- I laughed out loud at your "that is one more layer than I wear, cuz I may not be a fashionista, but I wouldn't be caught dead in a cotton shirt that snapped in the crotch with lap shoulders."

Kelly- you are hilarious!

[GrayMatterWife]

My thoughts... I'm sure all my answers are wrong and demonstrate i am a terrible mom.

1. Why do babies make very loud quacking and hacking noises and when do they stop?

Because they can. They stop when they don't like to do it.

2. I keep hearing about the wonderful new baby smell, but dd either smells like spit up milk or poop or both. Did i end up with the stinkiest baby somehow?

No, babies stink. People who say that they like "baby smell" really mean "oh, i just think babies are so cute and they chemical that they add to baby lotion makes the most pleasant scent that it allows me to overly romanticize my own memories of being a mother to an infant."

3. I'm constantly worried about either under or over dressing her.

Dress her like you'd want to be dressed. I never understood why people always assume that babies are cold. If she's cold, you'll be able to tell--just like with grown-ups...her skin will feel cold and she'll be tense.

4. I'm also paranoid about giving her sunburn.

I put sunscreen on my babies, but i never paid attention to all the "don't do that!"s i was told about. My kids at peanutbutter at 10 months (which is really funny to watch, by the way). I put rice in their formula (two no-nos in one act!). I let them sleep on their sides, and if they rolled onto their backs, i let them stay there. I guess i am a bad mom with comfortable kids. And being sunburned is not comfortable. But, if you are concerned, pop a hat on and a long-sleeved, very light shirt. She'll be fine.

5. She's refusing to be on her stomach unless it's against either of us. Whenever i try to put her down on her stomach, she starts screaming within 10 seconds. Should i keep insisting on tummy-time or it's ok to give up for now (she's 2 months)?

tummy time is dumb. Tried it a couple of times with my son, who hated it. Who could blame him? Dumped on the floor, left to lie miserably on his stomach, unable to crank his body around easily. I'd have been pissed, too. Didn't do it with either of my kids, and they are fine.

[Vishenka69]

Once again a huge thank you. Alison, there are days when I so miss my nice and cozy fence that I feel I've been so rudely pushed off.

Can't believe I'm all out of stupid questions, but I'm sure I'll come up with some in a day or two.

On the topic of mommy fashion - I got to our music class a bit early this week and saw the previous group leave. All the kids were wearing the most adorable coordinating outfits and all the moms looked so depressing as if they got dressed in the dark and their only options were 10 year old work out or yard clothes. They obviously put a lot of time into choosing the clothes for their children, why not spend an extra 5 minutes on themselves. It was really sad to watch.

[Vanquisher]

On the topic of mommy fashion - I got to our music class a bit early this week and saw the previous group leave. All the kids were wearing the most adorable coordinating outfits and all the moms looked so depressing as if they got dressed in the dark and their only options were 10 year old work out or yard clothes. They obviously put a lot of time into choosing the clothes for their children, why not spend an extra 5 minutes on themselves. It was really sad to watch.

I'll take this one:

1. Baby clothes come coordinated already, often with matching accessories. When it comes to putting an outfit together for ourselves, we are clueless.

2. We are tired, and we don't have an extra 5 minutes. By the time we have managed to get the baby happy, dressed, fed, and ready to go out the door, we are exhausted and hope that people will only pay attention to the cute baby.

3. Our cute clothes don't fit us anymore. We don't have the time, money, or energy to shop for new outfits for ourselves. It's all sucked up by the baby. We also keep hoping that we will fit into our old cute clothes.

4. We stopped caring.

5. 10 years later, we can't see the fashion train anymore, let alone buy a ticket to get on it. It's sad, but true.

[ladymoreta]

3. Our cute clothes don't fit us anymore. We don't have the time, money, or energy to shop for new outfits for ourselves. It's all sucked up by the baby. We also keep hoping that we will fit into our old cute clothes.

This is so true for me right now! I have just started fitting into my very not-flattering fat pants, and I only have a handful of non-maternity shirts that fit, but not well. (But my maternity shirts are now too big.) I'm not sure when I'll be able to go shopping again, and I only have about $60 total to spend when I do. I stay in my pajamas most days when I don't have anywhere to go, so I can "save" the clothes that fit for when I do. I'm becoming the definition of a frumpy housewife!

[SuzySunshine]

What Heidi said! I went shopping for myself on Thursday and I didn't even really know where to start because I really haven't bought me clothes since before I was pregnant with Adele!

[Urowife]

I SO need a personal shopper - sign me up!

[scrub-jay]

As the childless sympathizer who can find a good bargain, I really wish I could travel around and be everyone's personal shopper. As soon as DH starts making some solid bank, that's what I'm doing for a career.

Promise?!