Stupid questions from first time mom

[scrub-jay]

To answer your question for your "research" -

Essentials (or more accurately - stuff we were really glad we had, I've bolded real essentials):
- HEATH INSURANCE/GOOD PRENATAL CARE
- Sleepers/jumpers/onesies (we didn't have enough jumpers and had to buy more week 1)
- Newborn diapers (we started with these and then moved to cloth when the cord fell off)
- Crib/bassinet
- Pack n play (luxury, but it has been nice to put her in it when we are in the living room)
- Small video camera (we have a Kodak Play Sport)
- Baby bjorn (or carrier of your choice)
- A good parenting-type book to know what to "expect" and help you realize what you are going through is normal!! We are fond of Penelope Leach's "Your Baby and Child" (new British version) but there are many good ones out there.
- BOB stroller with infant car seat adapter (worth every dime, luxury -yes, but nice)
- Good diaper bag (we love our ju ju be bag)
- blankets, wash cloths, burp cloths
- Infant car seat (we were so glad to get it...she was so tiny leaving the hospital, even at 8 lbs)

Non-essentials:
- All swaddling products (this is extremely baby-choice, she was never a fan!)
- Big plastic baby bath (it is a luxury, but we could have done it in the sink
- Swing (she is only one month old so she may like it more later)
- Pacifiers

These are just a few off the top of our heads, I guess some of the things are more luxury than "essential" but we are the type to buy quality that will last. However, don't go off and buy everything, wait until after the baby shower - you'll get plenty of the essentials.

ETA: Honestly, go with your gut. It is amazing how particular babies (at least from my one month of experience with my one baby) are regarding items they like or do not like. I wish we could create a "Baby stuff trading board" on here for all of those things you thought your baby would love, but just doesn't. There is a really good thread on here somewhere where the really experienced parents chimed in - that one helped me out immensely when we were shopping for stuff.

[Pollyanna]

! We are fond of Penelope Leach's "Your Baby and Child" (new British version) but there are many good ones out there.[/B]

I LOVE Penelope Leach!!! I have used her book with all our kiddos. I used to watch her show even before we had babies.

[GreyhoundsRUs]

I'm doing some, uh... research. Yes, research.

As a non-mom, the only essential I can think of is the infant

I'm excited to hear more soon!

[scrub-jay]

I LOVE Penelope Leach!!! I have used her book with all our kiddos. I used to watch her show even before we had babies.

So do we!! She has a new edition of her book coming out in September I think, but DH discovered that it had already been published in the UK, so he ordered that version (luckily Amazon converts $$ to pounds). It is great fun to read it - using the British spellings and translations for things. I have been thinking of our stroller as a "pram" or a pacifier as a "dummy." So far the advice has been very practical and her attitude is very "take it or leave it" and not too preachy. My mom suggested the book as she raised me with it.

[alison]

I'm actually happy that I bought a changing table, although I can see how some of you wouldn't find it essential. Dh and I aren't spring chickens anymore, and so it's nice to have dd at a height where we don't have to bend over or kneel down.

Jenn gave me the book Baby Bargains, and there's a nice little page in there, where the authors go over what's essential from the get-go, and what can wait until 3 months, 6 months, etc. For instance, you don't need a high chair until much later (we bought one at 6-7 months).

[Michele]

Re: Stupid questions from first time mom

Essentials?

-food source
Breastfeeding requires less "stuff" but can be more work in the beginning.

-safe place to sleep
Whether in your bed, crib, bassinet, swing, carseat, a place you feel your baby is safe.

-safe place to just be (for when mom has to pee/shower/etc)
Can be the crib, carseat, etc. Or a bouncy seat or walker when baby is older.

-clothes
I probably went through 10 outfits per week (poo leaks/spit up) and my kids only wore onsies and footed sleepers for a long time.

-diapers/wipes/rag/blanket

-carseat

-babycarrier (wrap, sling, pouch or bjorn)


You can probably get by with just that. All the other stuff just makes babies (and their care) more fun!

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[alison]

I think Michele's right on with her post, although I will say breast feeding DID NOT work for me. My milk didn't come in in earnest until day 8. So, do you starve the kid with sucking on empty breasts like I did? Formula isn't evil, even if it seems like everyone around you is telling you you're not going to have a bond or are permanently damaging your child's immune system by doing so.

[DCJenn]

If you go into baby stuff purchasing with the same mindset that you go in to buying a used car, you'll be fine. Remember, the goal of the stores and the people in the stores is to make you buy stuff. I can't recommend Baby Bargains highly enough- it's the consumer reports for the baby schlock. Baby needs are very basic- food source, place to sleep, something to wear, something to do while awake and people- preferably mom and dad. Everything else is marketing and preference.

The bridal, baby and pet marketing people are evil.

Jenn

[alison]

Sorry -- I didn't mean to get all emotional in this thread. I just have a hard time believing that bfing works for everyone. I would say then instead that it's good to have a few bottles on backup, just in case the bfing doesn't work out for you.

[scrub-jay]

Sorry -- I didn't mean to get all emotional in this thread. I just have a hard time believing that bfing works for everyone. I would say then instead that it's good to have a few bottles on backup, just in case the bfing doesn't work out for you.

I think you have a very valid point alison, although we got bfing to work there are many who do not and using formula does not make you a bad person or parent. Like everything pregnancy/child-rearing related, there are extremists on every side who make new mothers feel guilty. (My issue has been with going back to work - I am really struggling with it). IMHO parenting decisions are not black and white so it is really not appropriate to judge.

[MrsK]

bfding is not for everyone. No one should feel pressured to bfeed or not to bfeed. It's a personal, physical, medical, and emotional issue. I'm pleasantly surprised that it's worked for me but every day I make the decision over again. Personally, I've found it very rewarding -- almost addictive -- but I don't beat myself up for slipping in a little forumla when I have to.

Crystal -- thinking about returning to work is worse than actually doing it. Once you take the plunge, it's not that bad . . . especially if your work is busy and rewarding for you.

[ladymoreta]

Yep, I cried in the pediatrician's office when I went in and found out my baby had lost too much weight at first and I needed to supplement. Looking back, it seems so silly now that I felt anything but happiness that there was another way to feed my baby until my milk came in. (And that a great alternative exists in case it hadn't.) Highly recommend having a can of formula on hand, just in case.

[Vishenka69]

The little stinker still won't regularly nap during the day. Some days she'll nap for only 30 minutes (between 9am and 9pm) and some days for 3+ hours. I feel so guilty complaining about that since she does sleep 7-8 hours at night. She does sleep more on the days I have the babysitter (may be we should take it as a compliment that she wants to be entertained only by me or DH), so I'm thinking of having her come in one more afternoon a week. Since she's almost 16lbs, I'm not a big fan of carrying her around for hours even with assistance of a sling or carrier.

In regard to BF'ing, I found that renting a pump from the hospital made more sense for me than buying something top of the line. I would also suggest getting bottles and a can of formula (either the hospital or the peds office often have free samples) even if you plan on BF'ing because you never know when your milk will come in or how much you'll have.

I think a baby paraphernalia exchange would be great. DD is completely indifferent to various sleep-assist devices but loves swaddles.

[Thirteen]

I forgot I hadn't replied to this! Yikes!
Well, the research right now is just research -- we have started TTC, but I won't know anything definite for another week or two.
My baby fever is highly contagious, and spread to DH, who caved very quickly on waiting until the fall.

[scrub-jay]

I forgot I hadn't replied to this! Yikes!
Well, the research right now is just research -- we have started TTC, but I won't know anything definite for another week or two.
My baby fever is highly contagious, and spread to DH, who caved very quickly on waiting until the fall.

Congrats...good luck with TTC! Keep us updated!