Open mouth, insert foot (not mine for once!)

[JC76]

So I'm out to dinner on Memorial Day with my 8 month old mixed-race daughter, my parents and their best friends. Of course, DH is not with us cause he's working. It's crowded in the restaurant and as we sit down a woman at the table next to us leans over to look at the baby in the car seat and starts gushing. She goes on and on about how pretty she is, asks me all these questions, like how old is she, what's her name, etc. Then she asks - "How long have you had her?" And I was like, huh? I truly had no clue what she had just asked me. So she says it again - and then I realized... she thought she was adopted!

This was a first for me. And the twisted part of me that enjoys seeing people embarass themselves kind of enjoyed it, I have to say.

I was like "Oh no, she's all mine. I earned every inch of her, trust me. Her dad is Indian, I guess she looks a little more like her dad than me. But yeah, I've pretty much had her since conception. Thanks."

The poor woman was mortified. Total deer in the headlights. After having babbled on for about a minute she truly had no idea what to say next. I loved it. So funny to me that my in laws actually have expressed nervousness when they take Zoe out in her stroller in the city thinking that people might perceive her as being white and not belonging to them and being suspicious of them (which I think is pretty ridiculous, but they've been subjected to racism their whole life, so I can't blame them for being paranoid).

Little do they know that apparently I'M the one who doesn't match!!

[HouseofWool]

Wow - you handled well. I like the "since conception" line.

[Thirteen]

This was definitely a topic mentioned in a larger thread that I posted on.
My two best friends have had this happen with their biological children, and I keep wondering if it will happen to me too?
Sounds like you handled it with a lot of grace - go you!
I hope to have the same reaction, should I ever be in the same situation

[alison]

I think with the mixed babies, you have to cut people a little slack! I don't think it was meant to hurt you. When dd was little, I was sitting somewhere with her and was playing with my iPhone while dd entertained herself. Someone came up to me and asked if I was being paid to fiddle with my phone. She must have thought I was dd's nanny!!! Hahahaha!

[Vanquisher]

I think with the mixed babies, you have to cut people a little slack! I don't think it was meant to hurt you. When dd was little, I was sitting somewhere with her and was playing with my iPhone while dd entertained herself. Someone came up to me and asked if I was being paid to fiddle with my phone. She must have thought I was dd's nanny!!! Hahahaha!

Holy crap! That is really rude.

My kids are white and look like me, but even I've been asked if my son was adopted when he was a baby. Both kids are blonde and DH and I are brunette. I constantly get comments about people wondering where they got their hair from. Ummm, I was blonde until I was 5. My hair has just gotten a lot darker as I have gotten older. The questions are fewer and further between now though. I think it is because I have two kids that look like each other now. I should have quipped that the UPS man is blonde. Whatever. And, if they were adopted? Doesn't make them any less mine.

Even MIL, when DS was a baby, wondered where he got his hair. I told her I was blonde as a child, and she didn't believe me until I showed her pictures! I think her real motive was hoping that the child wasn't her "bloodline," she would then point this out to dh, who would divorce me, and then she could be rid of me for good. Too bad, bitch.

[SoonerTexan]

Someone came up to me and asked if I was being paid to fiddle with my phone.

Well, that'st just plan rude, but you could also take it as a compliment that you look young

[peggyfromwastate]

I think with the mixed babies, you have to cut people a little slack! I don't think it was meant to hurt you. When dd was little, I was sitting somewhere with her and was playing with my iPhone while dd entertained herself. Someone came up to me and asked if I was being paid to fiddle with my phone. She must have thought I was dd's nanny!!! Hahahaha!

wow. that's just wrong. you should have said something in German to really throw her off.

[peggyfromwastate]

our kids look very very white. until summer, then they "brown up" and by the end of summer the boys anyway look brown enough to pass as hispanic... DH looks polynesian more than hispanic, but he has never had any strange looks or anything with the kids... Maybe this is something more common in other parts of the country- where we live mixed families are the norm.

[alison]

our kids look very very white. until summer, then they "brown up" and by the end of summer the boys anyway look brown enough to pass as hispanic... DH looks polynesian more than hispanic, but he has never had any strange looks or anything with the kids... Maybe this is something more common in other parts of the country- where we live mixed families are the norm.

There are a lot of mixed families here, too.

My dad can pass for a whole lot of different backgrounds. Once he was asked what tribe he belongs to.

[Meenah]

wow. that's just wrong. you should have said something in German to really throw her off.

That is funny. I would pay money to see that reaction.

[MDPhDWife]

That's too funny Alison! Mixed families are really common here too so we don't usually get a lot of comments. Even though my DD's have different dad's everyone is always commenting on how much Isabella looks "JUST LIKE" my DH who is not her dad. I think it's just because she's darker than Gracie and my DH is a darker skined hispanic. He often gets comments though that he looks just like Tiger Woods which didn't used to bother him much until recently.

[Thirteen]

He often gets comments though that he looks just like Tiger Woods which didn't used to bother him much until recently.

*hijack* My ortho looks like Tiger, but I didn't tell him in lieu of recent events.

[alison]

Dd is starting to get curly hair. That's from her white side. I spend a lot of time boinging them, because I've never seen anything like it in my family before!

[HouseofWool]

Dd is starting to get curly hair. That's from her white side. I spend a lot of time boinging them, because I've never seen anything like it in my family before!

Pictures? S has curls, just like I did as a baby. Very cute. And now that C has let his hair grow out a bit, it is wavy too.

I was like "Oh no, she's all mine. I earned every inch of her, trust me. Her dad is Indian, I guess she looks a little more like her dad than me. But yeah, I've pretty much had her since conception. Thanks."

.....

The poor woman was mortified. Total deer in the headlights. After having babbled on for about a minute she truly had no idea what to say next. I loved it. So funny to me that my in laws actually have expressed nervousness when they take Zoe out in her stroller in the city thinking that people might perceive her as being white and not belonging to them and being suspicious of them (which I think is pretty ridiculous, but they've been subjected to racism their whole life, so I can't blame them for being paranoid).

Little do they know that apparently I'M the one who doesn't match!!

I get that kind of stuff pretty often. Lots of beating around the bush "Ohhhh ... look at their dark hair, big, brown eyes, dark skin ...." I don't agree with Alison that we need to give folks a break, and I think what that person said to you (Alison) is incredibly rude! They actually thought it was okay to speak to a nanny like that?? This is a melting pot of a world, and people are just going to have to get used to families coming in lots of different combinations.