Baby #2

[SoonerTexan]

Obviously I don't have kids...(and PLEASE may it not happen in the next week or so!), but I will say 4 out of the 5 of us were all 18 months apart and we loved it. I am incredibly close to my siblings--not to say there wasn't fighting at times, but I would do anything for them and I cant imagine what my childhood would have been like without them as my playmates (really my minions--I was the oldest and I still rule with them with a iron fist)

[SuzySunshine]

How do you know when you're done....? It seems like such a bittersweet thing.

We've always said we wanted two. I'm not a baby person, I've said that before, I HATE the first six months and with #2 I'm disliking into 7 months too. I was talking to a friend this weekend who has 2 and plans to have at least one more, her daughter is 4 and is asking for a sister. I can see A doing that one day and I can see myself thinking, you know I grew up with 2 sisters and loved it maybe we should try again. But then I can totally see us thinking well then we should add a 4th so they each have a sibling of the same gender. NOT GOING TO HAPPEN! Part of my reason is also because I know DH's job isn't going to get that much better after fellowship, I don't want to be outnumbered. Being outnumbered with two very involved parents would be one thing but not with a parent who won't be around much.

[alison]

Somehow I feel like #2 would be easier. I barely know anyone with babies, other than many of you guys, so so much of this has been winging it. I didn't even know there were formula powder dispensers until a stranger saw me fiddling with pre-portioned ziploc baggies full of powder!

I don't like babies much either. I'm thanking my lucky stars that dd sleeps through the night, takes 3 naps during the day that are each 1.5+ hours in length.

Maybe we should get a dog first?

[DCJenn]

Well, the only people who can really answer the question are you and your husband! My decision was based partially on our ages (43 and 42 w/ a six year old. There are some compelling reasons to have kids while you're young if you want a lot of them because let me tell you at 43, I'm TIRED- and I'm not a SAHM which is 300 times harder IMHO), partially because I've busted my ass for 25 years now at this career of mine and I'd really like to retire and go play before I'm dead and partially because as much as I love my kid, I'm really not all that into kids.

I have 12 more years until he graduates from high school- I'll be 55 and baby, I'm going to play. I see a no-upkeep downtown (some where) condo w/ no pets and a guest bedroom for the dude when he comes home from where ever he ends up. (college, the military, jail, it's still too early to tell)

Jenn

[Meenah]

I'm nine years older than Jenn and I have a 2 year old grandson!!!!!!!!!!

My girls are 21 months apart and I planned them that way!!!! I was super close to my sister (also less than 2 years apart) and wanted the same for my daughters. Of course I had 4 other siblings. My girls are very close, but growing up I always said "they play together well, and they fight even better". I would do it again.

[MrsK]

Are we crazy? Baby K is not quite 6 months old and I cannot stop thinking about having another. DrK even suggested I talk to my OB about how nursing may affect my ability to conceive. Of course, I am over 35 and we want at least one or two more before I'm 40. . .

[Urowife]

It's good to hear people's thoughts and experiences on this. We used to think we'd have three kids, but after having one (who is challenging in the sleep arena), I've said that I can do this ONE more time to give DD a sibling. But, there are days (nights) when I question even that! We will be waiting another year before trying to conceive again. I'd like a 3 year age difference at least.

[SuzySunshine]

Maybe those on here with more then 2 can offer their opinion but my friends who have more then 2 say their transition from 1 to 2 was the hardest transition.

[peggyfromwastate]

I don't know... Transition from 4 to 5 kicked my butt most of all. I think mostly because J was not a good sleeper at all. Didn't sleep through the night until about 6 months, she didn't nap hardly at all... Just didn't seem to need to sleep, really. She wasn't colicky or anything, and her reflux issues were less than some of the others. But, just the sheer number of kids and the amount of driving here and there and the after school activities... It's been really really hard.

For you Alison, you won't have these issues... But you may want to think ahead too- think ahead to the school days. If you want to have your 2 kids in school together, which is really nice and convenient IMO, you may want to try for closer spacing.

[ladymoreta]

MrsK, I'm right there in Crazytown with you! We're planning to wait until the very end of residency or right after to have our second, but I wouldn't be too disappointed if we end up with an "oopsie".

[mommax3]

Baby #2

I would say that going from 2 to 3 totally kicked my ass. My boys are all a little over 3 years apart, so when #3 came along, my oldest was in 1st grade and was playing soccer, so sleep deprivation or not, (and there was *plenty* of that, believe me) I had to adhere to a schedule for my oldest. Also, DH was never around (not much has changed on that front!) and we had just moved, so I didn't know anyone. So maybe it was a perfect storm of events, but the "trauma" of adding #3 to out family kept us from adding #4, which had always been our plan. I have to say, too, that #1 and #3 were difficult, extremely active babies, but #2 was (and is) blessed with a happy, laid back personality that made adding our second much easier than I had anticipated, based on the experience I had when #1 was born.

One more thing to add....I have seen many moms just in love with their babies when they are between 6 and 12 months who decide to go for #2, and in the interim, their oldest becomes mobile and parenting becomes much more demanding....they end up with an infant and a firstborn who is into everything and bears very little resemblance to the angel that inspired them to try again! However, moms have a way of rising to the challenges that present themselves, so I am sure all of you will do fine! Good luck!

[alison]

Sally -- great post!
Dd is a handful and then some. She's into everything. It's insane how active she is, but when she naps, she's out for a very long time. I think it's all the racing around that she does that just exhausts her. She rattles the bars on her safety gate... Rattles the bars on her crib when she's worked herself out of a swaddle.

When she wakes up from her naps, she's raring to go. She does The Worm in her crib while lying on her back... I have to be careful not to get kicked. If anything, the reason to have a second child earlier rather than later is that I've still got a little energy left to deal with this.

Uh-oh, she's up from nap now!

[Pollyanna]

Dh and I entered marriage with an openness to what God had planned for our lives. We never said we wanted a certain number of children because how could we possibly know what it would be like to have children. We didn't know if we would be able to handle one child, two, ten, or the possibility of not being able to get pregnant.
Going from one to two was very hard and explains the 3.5 year age gap between 2 and 3 . Each subsequent child has been easy/difficult for a variety of reasons. In terms of knowing when it was the right time, for us it is mostly when i felt like I was ready, and when we felt ready as a couple. I wish we had more during the med school and residency years but dh and I both know that it would have been too much for us at the time.
I think if you're thinking about babies then you likely are ready to at the very least begin the discussion and to start the fun of practicing

It is interesting to read other's experiences on how the personality of babies can actually affect family size! We have said many times that DS is determined to be an only child. I mean for starters he still sleeps in our bed!

However, we have always had the number 2 as our "ideal" family size. We started thinking about trying for #2 when DS was 18 months old. In many ways I don't feel ready for 2. DS still takes up all my time. But we also didn't want to leave it too long because 1) DH has a brother 4 years older and he always felt that he was more of a babysitter than a playmate. 2) It took us around a year to get pregnant the first time and I was paranoid about fertility issues that could have got worse as I got older. I guess I am just hoping that #2 is a little more laid back and sleeps a little more.

[alison]

Kirsty, this reminds me of something someone said to me today. I was at BabyGap this morning, and granted, I had dd in boyish clothes, but the saleswoman said to me: "it's true what they say about boys being more active than girls, isn't it?" I had taken dd out of her stroller and she was climbing on me and hollering out DA DA DA DA DA!!!!