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I could not figure out for the LIFE of me how this spiraled downward like it did...how did this become a conversation of SAHM v. SAHW? Her post mentioned nothing about being a SAHM. Her precise question was: "what's not to like about staying at home?" and then she solicited "How can a person be bored at home, because you can read, explore your own interests, take adult ed classes, do research online, etc. I'd love to hear thoughts on this." This had nothing to do with kids or being a SAHM. I could not figure out: where did the jump to being a SAHM come from? Then I re-read the thread title: "SAHM v. SAHW." Ah, I see. There is a complete disconnect with between the title and the content of the original post. Maybe the better title would have been "WOHW (work outside the home wife) v. SAHW."
To answer the original question: The only thing not to like about being the type of SAHW you've described is that your life would be all about you. All the time. Every day. Your interests, your needs, your comfort. It sounds fun in the short term, but unchallenging and a little boring in the long term. It sounds more like you want to be a FOOMW (Focused Only on Me Wife)--and, by the way, who doesn't kind of dream of this every so often?! However, I know quite a few SAHWs--and in reality, very few of their lives are centered around their own indulgences. Many are SAHWs for a purpose: to take care of elderly parents, or they have husbands with jobs that essentially need a full-time wife to accompany/support him in professional duties, or they are committed to volunteering in their communities. But being a SAHW for the sole purpose of indulging yourself sounds FANTASTIC...for about a month...then it just sounds dull in its self-centeredness. But maybe it's just me and I have ridiculously low self-esteem...but I could not imagine that I am interesting enough to spend all my time focusing on.
However, on the issue that your title seems to want developed: the difference between being a SAHW and being a SAHM...the problem is, you've set up an invalid, incongruent comparison. The SAHW lifestyle you've described in your thread is a life centered all around YOU. And your needs. And your sense of self-fullfillment. So, in that sense, there is no valid comparison to being a SAHM. SAHMs focus on their children. They have no time to be concerned about being "bored" (under-stimulated at times, I am sure--there are Saturdays where I am BEGGING to have a multi-syllabic conversation...I can't imagine going the entire day without having an adult conversation). SAHMs have little time for self-development. That is just not "where they are" in their lives. They are about selflessness and sacrifice.
However, if you are envisioning a SAHW lifestyle that involves spending your time serving others (like my friend who is a SAHW because her husband is a big-time department chairman and needs her available AND her mother, with dementia, needs her attention), then I would say that you can get a more accurate comparison with being a SAHM. If you plan to spend your life as a SAHW caring for other people--through meeting family obligations, volunteer work, etc.--then I would say that there is LOTS not to like about being a SAHW...just like there is a lot not to like about being a SAHM! It is hard, unpaid work for which you get little societal reward. It is about being bigger than yourself, and your needs, and your wants--every, single day. Sometimes, it is EASIER to WOTH than to be that kind of SAHW or SAHM.
To answer the original question: The only thing not to like about being the type of SAHW you've described is that your life would be all about you. All the time. Every day. Your interests, your needs, your comfort. It sounds fun in the short term, but unchallenging and a little boring in the long term. It sounds more like you want to be a FOOMW (Focused Only on Me Wife)--and, by the way, who doesn't kind of dream of this every so often?! However, I know quite a few SAHWs--and in reality, very few of their lives are centered around their own indulgences. Many are SAHWs for a purpose: to take care of elderly parents, or they have husbands with jobs that essentially need a full-time wife to accompany/support him in professional duties, or they are committed to volunteering in their communities. But being a SAHW for the sole purpose of indulging yourself sounds FANTASTIC...for about a month...then it just sounds dull in its self-centeredness. But maybe it's just me and I have ridiculously low self-esteem...but I could not imagine that I am interesting enough to spend all my time focusing on.
However, on the issue that your title seems to want developed: the difference between being a SAHW and being a SAHM...the problem is, you've set up an invalid, incongruent comparison. The SAHW lifestyle you've described in your thread is a life centered all around YOU. And your needs. And your sense of self-fullfillment. So, in that sense, there is no valid comparison to being a SAHM. SAHMs focus on their children. They have no time to be concerned about being "bored" (under-stimulated at times, I am sure--there are Saturdays where I am BEGGING to have a multi-syllabic conversation...I can't imagine going the entire day without having an adult conversation). SAHMs have little time for self-development. That is just not "where they are" in their lives. They are about selflessness and sacrifice.
However, if you are envisioning a SAHW lifestyle that involves spending your time serving others (like my friend who is a SAHW because her husband is a big-time department chairman and needs her available AND her mother, with dementia, needs her attention), then I would say that you can get a more accurate comparison with being a SAHM. If you plan to spend your life as a SAHW caring for other people--through meeting family obligations, volunteer work, etc.--then I would say that there is LOTS not to like about being a SAHW...just like there is a lot not to like about being a SAHM! It is hard, unpaid work for which you get little societal reward. It is about being bigger than yourself, and your needs, and your wants--every, single day. Sometimes, it is EASIER to WOTH than to be that kind of SAHW or SAHM.
I love you so much.
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