More Children?

I feel for you. Hubby is a third year medical student and i also want another child so bad. Maybe it is because so many people are having babies right now. If we do end up having a child in the next 18 months I will definitely use Medicaid. I figure I will be paying it back in taxes until die. Now only if I could convince my dear sweety. Good luck.

I feel for you. Hubby is a third year medical student and i also want another child so bad. Maybe it is because so many people are having babies right now. If we do end up having a child in the next 18 months I will definitely use Medicaid. I figure I will be paying it back in taxes until die. Now only if I could convince my dear sweety. Good luck.

Agreed. Maybe if I show my husband this post he will realize that others think using Medicaid is ok .

[MDPhDWife]

I was working when we got married & had our children. We were insured through my employer. I became a SAHM when DD1 was 4 & DD2 was 11 months old. Since DH was participating in the MD/PhD program he received a monthly stipend & health insurance for himself. The kiddos & I qualified for medicaid even with DH's stipend. We were able to live off just the subsidized student loans (along w/ the stipend) until this year when his programs' funding got cut along with his stipend.


I'd recommend either medicaid or the state program. Our state is set up so that if you don't qualify for medicaid, there's a sliding scale insurance available that's pretty comprehensive & low cost.

Raising a family during med school is tough, but not impossible. You just have to get creative financially. Hope this helps.

[Vanquisher]

Agreed. Maybe if I show my husband this post he will realize that others think using Medicaid is ok .

Many of us more seasoned members often show our at-home dawkters this board and threads herein to show them how unreasonable, silly, stubborn, or otherwise wrong they may be. Go with the Medicaid. I did it when I was pregnant with my DD during dh's 4th year of med school. Now, we see Medicaid patients on a daily basis in our practice, and we write off a ton for them. That doesn't even figure into the taxes we pay not only as a business, but personally as well.

You aren't trying to mooch off the system and stay on assistance forever so that you never have to work. You are using it not only for its intended purpose, but you will more than make up for it and really, very quickly.

[alison]

Like in the movie Babe!

Good luck to you--and welcome!

[scrub-jay]

Like in the movie Babe!

Good luck to you--and welcome!

Babe were Border Collies. Fly and Rex. Yes, I was raised with shepherd dogs. McNabs and more recently Border Collies, but Aussies (Australian shepherds) are in the same smart, herding dog category. Kelli - how is she with your son? (I have doggie-fever). I really need to stop hijacking.

Babe were Border Collies. Fly and Rex. Yes, I was raised with shepherd dogs. McNabs and more recently Border Collies, but Aussies (Australian shepherds) are in the same smart, herding dog category. Kelli - how is she with your son? (I have doggie-fever). I really need to stop hijacking.

No worries! She's not hyper like most Aussies/Border Collies (we got her from the rescue organization and she's a bit older, missing an eye...she's got a lot of baggage ) She is the dominate one and it took a while for our beagle to be ok with her. She still bosses around our beagle and she nips at people's heels when they're at our house so she has to stay in the garage. She does sometimes growl at our son (though, so does our beagle but she's all bark and no bite) so we don't let her be near him unsupervised. She'll tolerate his hugs and kisses though but sometimes he can be a bit rough and she doesn't like that. She's never bit him or shown her teeth to him, she just growls kind of makes it known that she's uncomfortable. She's a sweet dog, I sometimes wish we had a few goats for her to herd, she'd be in heaven!

Hijack... I am the biggest dog dork and yet I had never heard of a McNab. Had to look them up, what a cool dog and from my most favorite part of the country!

[Ladybug]

Another perspective, take it for what it is, but if having another child right now will create stress for your husband (maybe the insurance issue is just part of his concerns, but it's the easiest to label) and your families finances then it might be in your family's greater interest to hold off for a few years until you've moved past this stage in your life. Yes, it can be done, but honestly evaluate the impact it will have on everyone and find out if his hesitations aren't more layered.


The financial aspect of it can be addressed with some creativity. If your spouse is overwhelmed, financially and emotionally, with medical school and a new family then try to support him in that until he can grow to the place you're already in. It will happen.

Good luck!

[peggyfromwastate]

also just to throw it out there- I have all sorts of spacing between my kids, but from DD1 to DD2 and DS1 (they are twins) there was 5.5 years. I liked this spacing. Going from one to two kids is a huge transition. It really is. It is a lot more stress. Just going to doctor appts is hard. There is childcare to arrange for your son, the pregnancy fatigue while chasing after a toddler, etc., etc.

The other spacing I have is from DD2 and DS1 to DS2 3 years, and from DS2 to DD3 4 years. So I guess I prefer longer spacing than a lot of people... That's just how it worked out for us. FWIW the most stressful time in my life was when I was pregnant with DS2 and I had the twins still in diapers... Yikes, that sucked.

I understand baby fever. But I just wanted to add that it's not all bad to wait a little while. I think that having a baby in med school is a little bit easier than in residency, but not by a whole lot. And that was in my situation without any extra financial pressures.

Good luck!

[oceanchild]

It's through the insurance plan through the med school. The spouse fee is highest and a dependent child is less (maybe because they assume the spouse is most often female therefore could possibly become pregnant?)

Nah, they just want adults on their own employers' plans whenever possible. Most employers do that.

I don't have any advice, really. I've recently gotten pretty deep into baby fever, but I don't want to do something that will stress my husband the hell out (which it will) just yet. So I'm doing my best to keep it at bay.

[Thirteen]

Hi Kelli! Welcome to our site
So, as the current "Baby Enabler," I have to chime in.
I think what others have said (stress of med school + providing) are pretty spot-on reasons regarding why your DH may be uncomfortable with a new addition. They worry about so much more than we know. (And it doesn't help that the dawkter ego is also present). But anyway, regarding Medicaid/Medicare: one of DH's good friends/fellow resident had her first child during MS-3. Her husband became a SAHD to avoid childcare costs, and they had to go on assistance to do so. I know there's a stigma attached to that sort of thing for a lot of people, but, this lifestyle and training process is not the norm for others anyway. You could wait a few years, and TTC during residency -- however, if your husband is already stressed out, it doesn't get any easier during training, IMO. Intern year is hard - there is so much to adjust to, and you will probably have to move for Match as well. If you can, try talking to him more about it: perhaps come up with a pro/con list, so you can know where he stands and if the insurance thing really is an issue, or if there's a bigger one.
Having said all that, once you talk, there is no harm in considering another child during medical school (even if it means some sort of assistance). Just like most things in medicine, you do what you have to do while realizing that this life is not typical. I wish you good luck in these conversations with T, and again, welcome to our site!

[scrub-jay]

Nah, they just want adults on their own employers' plans whenever possible. Most employers do that.

I don't have any advice, really. I've recently gotten pretty deep into baby fever, but I don't want to do something that will stress my husband the hell out (which it will) just yet. So I'm doing my best to keep it at bay.

So... you dont want to do a brunch sometime soon?

[Pollyanna]

I know all about baby fever, indicated by our 5 children . Two babies are more than twice as hard as one. No seriously, going from 1 to 2 was a challenge. Just consider all the stresses, money will be just one of many. I am not sure what year your hubby is in but if you have not yet reached MS3 then you haven't reached the, "holy crap, what did I get myself into stage". We had our 4th when dh was an MS1 and our 5th when he was a PGY4. I had baby fever the entire time but had to work at the University to pay for med school and get good healthcare etc. In the end, I am very glad we waited even though we have a bigger age span between the children, it was better for our family as a whole. Good luck and welcome!

ETA: Sorry, I just saw your introduction post. I see you are MS2. Try and hold off that baby fever until you at least hit MS3, it is an entirely different bag. He won't be home, you will have many days when he leaves before you wake up and is not home until you are alseep. Our kids would go days without seeing dh simply due to their schedules not matching. If you make it through MS3 surgery rotation and you still want baby number 2 during med school then go for it. FYI: MS4 is a nice time for a baby.

[oceanchild]

So... you dont want to do a brunch sometime soon?

Enable away, darling.