BabyDummy Questions: Infant Edition

[Thirteen]

1) My son isn't really sleeping during the day. He is obviously tired, but nothing I do will get him to sleep. If he does crash, it's for 15-20 minutes at a time, and only after he's had access to nipples. He will take a pacifier, but likes to spit it out in protest and get angry that I offered him anything other than myself. Any ideas?

2) I am in a new mommy group. They all seem to be quite hostile when it comes to the physical activity/being ok for sex thing, but I'm not exactly identifying with them. This makes me feel like a traitor, but... I actually like my husband still. And I miss being with him. I feel okay for activity AND I feel okay for sex. And yet, I have this sneaking suspicion that I can't say anything because I might be ostracized, and I just got comfy with these women. Do I say anything? Am I a weirdo for actually wanting to be intimate with my husband?

3) When can I/should I introduce a lovey? I've received 2 as gifts, but I thought you aren't supposed to put anything in the crib until they are older. I'm hoping this helps him

4) Introducing the dogs to Bean has gone 50/50 - Oz (the little one) is super great with him, while Titus is convinced he might be a wounded squirrel or something, looking for a quick way out of this world. When Bean cries, it makes Titus escalate. I'm pretty frustrated, and I'm a very seasoned pet owner. Ideas from the animal crowd?

5) Dry skin on Bean. It only happens on his face. I lotion it, but it doesn't seem to make much of a difference. I'm only washing it with water at this point. Am I doing something wrong?

Thanks, everyone!

[SoonerTexan]

2) I am in a new mommy group. They all seem to be quite hostile when it comes to the physical activity/being ok for sex thing, but I'm not exactly identifying with them. This makes me feel like a traitor, but... I actually like my husband still. And I miss being with him. I feel okay for activity AND I feel okay for sex. And yet, I have this sneaking suspicion that I can't say anything because I might be ostracized, and I just got comfy with these women. Do I say anything? Am I a weirdo for actually wanting to be intimate with my husband?

Weird. Just ditch them and move to Dallas!

[scrub-jay]

1. I had a non-napper, but she wasn't tired during the day. What's wrong with nursing him down for now?

2. I feel sorry for them. You are completely normal in my book. As long as you have dr okay... I say go for it and enjoy it!

3. Ask your ped. We kept things out of her crib until she was 6+ months, except we did have a sheepskin in there early on. This was a mom-instinct thing for me.

4. No advice, I have a cat who finds dd a mere annoyance to his 20 hour-per-day nap schedule.

5. Vaseline helped immensely, then we switched to Aquaphor. Now, we do a mist with water (like a little plant) followed by Vanicream (standard eczema treatment these days). Every baby in these parts suffers from dry skin/eczema because it is super arid.

Hope this helps!!

[ladymoreta]

1) Ugh, DS was a 30-minute napper for forever! Unfortunately, the only thing I found that would get him to sleep longer was to hold him. I'd have to rock him to sleep, hold him for 10 minutes, then I could lay him down and leave the room for about 20 minutes until he woke up. Then I'd go in there and hold him and play on my phone for the next 30-60 minutes until he woke up. At no point could I lay him down after the first wake-up, or it was all over. Eventually his nap time lengthened to 45 minutes, then an hour, then an hour and a half. Now they're usually between 1.5-2 hours.

2) Weird people. I get wanting to wait - I didn't feel healed enough until 8 weeks - but it's not that I didn't want to. If you like them and otherwise enjoy the group, just ignoring that topic would work. It'll pass soon as they all start feeling better. But if they continue to bash their husbands, it probably wouldn't be very pleasant to keep going.

3) I haven't gotten DS to attach to one, so I'm not sure. You can let him fall asleep with it, then go take it out of the crib. I think something small with no choking hazards (buttons, eyes, etc) is probably okay around 6 months.

4) No clue, sorry.

5) Dry skin is pretty common, and I think it'll clear up on it's own. Have you tried Aquafor? It's a thicker cream. Could it be eczema? I think there are special baby lotions designed for that.

1) My son had to nurse to nap until he was about 4 months old. We started working on soothing him to sleep in other ways at about 3 months in anticipation of my return to work. I'd nurse him to a sleepy-but-not-quite-all-the-way-to-sleep state, then rock, sing, stroke his tummy, walk, bounce, or do anything else to keep him calm until he drifted off. It took a lot of practice, and many times I'd give up and just nurse him down, but now our nanny and my mom can usually get him to nap just by rocking. If I'm around though, he still wants to nurse.

He still only sleeps in ~20 minute increments, unless he is being rocked or worn, then sometimes he'll go much longer. If he really needs sleep we go for a walk with him in the sling or ergo. Have you tried that? It doesn't help if you need to rest or get things done during nap time, but at least baby gets a good stretch of sleep.

2) Um, I think you're perfectly normal and healthy and happy. I probably wouldn't say anything to the moms group just because, well, why make it an issue?

No advice on the others, but it sounds like you're doing great!

[MrsK]

Regarding 2, a lot of women feel reduced sex drive or discomfort or exhaustion and think they are alone. Perhaps you stumbled upon a group where they are trying to be more open and sympathetic and open about that. I know that it was a relief for me to find a couple of my friends felt the way I did, that I had not fallen out of love with my husband or become fridged, that my libido would return and I could be reassured that sex would be enjoyable again. Great that you are not struggling with that but many women do.

[Deebs]

Regarding the daytime sleeping- DS ONLY slept in his swing during the day. He's not a great sleeper now, either. I finally gave in and just put him in the swing for naps. It totally saved my sanity. Do what works!

[Urowife]

1. I, too, had a nurse-napper. I held or laid down with my DD for her naps for a whole year(!) It was the only way that she would stay asleep longer than 20-30 minutes, and it gave me a break even though I had to stay with her. I played on my ipod (caught up on iMSN and surfed the web). Sometimes, I slept too After about a year, I was able to sneak away and sometimes I'd have to go back in and nurse her back down. Gradually, she just started staying asleep longer. I probably could have tried sneaking away earlier than at 1 year old, but I had come to treasure my "down time".

2. What MrsK said and if you like the group, stick with it. But, if they are just husband bashers, they might not be very fun moms to hang with.

3. I could never get my DD to like a lovey. Even now at 2 years! It overstimulates her to sleep with a stuffy. I would think at 6 months it would be fine, and potentially before that if you feel comfortable. My nephew liked to sleep with his burp cloth

4. I don't have very good advice because we had to rehome our dog because she eventually snapped and scratched our daughter out of aggression. She had always been a bit of an anxious dog, and once DD started walking, our dog felt even more insecure and threatened and one time, DD just touched the dog's back, and the dog snapped at her face and fortunately just scratched her. It could have been worse. So, we made the decision to rehome the dog. We miss her terribly still, but know that there was likely very little we could have done to change things. (We had already sought out special training with a behaviorist for other issues, and while we were able to manage those issues with training and distraction, we felt that it was unsafe to try to "train" our dog to be okay our DD - we felt that we would always be uneasy and worried that she might attack). I hope that you can find ways to help your dog be comfortable. Definitely seek out help from an animal behaviorist, not just a dog trainer, if you feel you need professional help.

5. Aquaphor - it's thick and greasy, but it definitely helps with dry skin and other skin ailments.

1. I, too, had a nurse-napper. I held or laid down with my DD for her naps for a whole year(!) It was the only way that she would stay asleep longer than 20-30 minutes, and it gave me a break even though I had to stay with her. I played on my ipod (caught up on iMSN and surfed the web). Sometimes, I slept too After about a year, I was able to sneak away and sometimes I'd have to go back in and nurse her back down. Gradually, she just started staying asleep longer. I probably could have tried sneaking away earlier than at 1 year old, but I had come to treasure my "down time"..

This was Mattie. I just got really, really good at MarioKart, and was grateful for my very-low-standards where housekeeping was concerned.

None of the 3 of mine ever liked a lovey, but now Mattie is suddenly very specific about what she "needs" to sleep with. It's a PITA, frankly.

[diggitydot]

DS has had a tiny stuffed dog clenched in his fist every night since he was probably 6 months old. He still has the same one. It's ragged, faded, worn, and threadbare. At almost 9 y/o, he's added more little stuffed doggies to his menagerie but still sleeps every night with his "first love".

Some kids attach to and feel comforted by wubbies, some don't. (Extra credit if you can name the movie "wubbies" came from.)

Experiment until you find whatever works for your kid.

[Auspicious]

(Extra credit if you can name the movie "wubbies" came from.)

Mr. Mom! (I think . . . ?)

[diggitydot]

Yup. One of my faves.

"I understand that you little guys start out with your woobies and you think they're great... and they are, they are terrific. But pretty soon, a woobie isn't enough. You're out on the street trying to score an electric blanket, or maybe a quilt. And the next thing you know, you're strung out on bedspreads Ken. That's serious."

[Pollyanna]

LOVE that movie!!

[Thirteen]

I'm trying to nurse him down today, with mixed results. He will fall asleep for 10-15 minutes, but then he wakes up and is in twilight, screaming his head off. I wish I could cater to his sucking needs all day, but he is chafing me raw.
I do have a pacifier, and he is also taking that with mixed results - it involves me giving it to him and him taking it/spitting it out in cycles, until he finally caves.
It's the saddest little scenario, really. I've even tried cuddling/snuggling him and staying in bed the whole time. You can tell that through his whining and screaming, he is so incredibly tired, but won't cave.
As we speak, he has fallen asleep within 1 minute of being placed in the bouncer, and I am the bad Mom that is letting him stay there to hopefully sleep for longer than 10 minutes.

As we speak, he has fallen asleep within 1 minute of being placed in the bouncer, and I am the bad Mom that is letting him stay there to hopefully sleep for longer than 10 minutes.

why is that even remotely bad? if it is, all 3 of my kids need to be taken from me. swings, bouncers, .... if they're sleeping LEAVE THEM BE.