nursing newborn - exhaustion

[JC76]

So tired that I keep looking at the word "exhaustion" in my Title and have no idea if I'm spelling it correctly.

DD#2 will be a month old on the 10th. Was so relieved after her birth that she took quickly to breastfeeding, unlike DD#1 who couldn't latch well and thus took a combination of nippleshield-nursing, pumped breastmilk and formula from day one. So this time around, it's like I'm really breastfeeding for the first time.

My question - how long did it take until your exclusively breastfed babies got on some sort of rhythm or routine with nursing? Mia is all over the place. Mostly 2-3 hour intervals during the day, but sometimes it's an hour and half and other times 4 hours. Seems to be falling into a clusterfeeding habit prior to bedtime, which I think is normal? But then some times will go for a 5 hour stretch in between feedings (which I realize is AMAZING when it happens), but then the next night will be up every 2 hours all night long. I'm beginning to get a little batty from the lack of sleep. Case in point, have gotten into arguments with both my mom and my MIL in the last couple days, both argument caused by me basically being a bitch. I'll admit it.

So - prepare me, is it gonna be like this for a long time, or does it actually get better over time? Everyone says the first 6 weeks are the hardest. Why is that? What got better for you after the 6 week point?

I'm thrilled I'm able to nurse her and I have no intentions of giving up. I think I just need a little hope on a day like today when I'm coming off of 4 1/2 hours total sleep which I got in a 1 1/2 hour chunk followed by a 3 hour chunk, before my 3 year old woke up and started begging me to watch TV at 6:30am.

[SoonerTexan]

Why is that? What got better for you after the 6 week point.

We got rid of the nipple shield at that point, she started to get more efficient at nursing (30-40 minute feeds got closer to 15-20 minutes and eventually down to 5-15 min), and some sort of routine developed. Everything you mentioned, especially the cluster feeding sounds completely normal.

Can you nurse her lying down at night so you can sleep too? It was a glorious day when I figured that out.

[v-girl]

I nursed laying down. Baby and mommy slept better!

[scrub-jay]

It will get easier!! I exclusively bf dd and I think the first 6 weeks are the roughest because the growth spurts are much closer, so the clusterfeeding is far more frequent. Remember, clusterfeeding is your dd's way of putting in an order for your body to start producing more milk in a few days (it does NOT mean she needs that extra milk NOW). If you haven't already, master the art of feeding her while you are laying on your side, although you won't be sleeping, you can at least allow your body to rest while she feeds. I remember when I mastered that position, it was a turning point. I was still tired, but not batty-exhausted. You can get through this, her clusterfeeding will likely slow down and she'll get herself on a schedule of sorts (if you are feeding on demand as I did). Huge hugs!!

ETA: Looks like I cross-posted with the side-laying position. Good luck!

[Michele]

The first 6 weeks (up to 12, in my personal opinion) are a HUGE transitional time for your baby (and you)!!! It takes me that long just to figure out a new house, let alone also coordinating breathing and seeing and eating and sensing and sleeping and....etc.

It will get better. Hang in there!!!

[TulipsAndSunscreen]

I nursed laying down. Baby and mommy slept better!

This. I stripped down the bed of sheets and slept with her in the crook of my arm for naps and overnight. I actually got sleep!

Also, I'll echo what ST said. At this age, they're not that efficient but DD is now nursing 5 minutes on each side to completely empty the breast. She still sucks for comfort but true feedings take <10-15 minutes.

[JC76]

I def need to try nursing lying down. I have been too nervous to do it because I'm paranoid that I'm going to fall asleep and smother her. The state of mind I'm in at night now though is not healthy. Need to work on it.

I can't imagine her only nursing for 10-15 minutes. That will be amazing.

[TulipsAndSunscreen]

I def need to try nursing lying down. I have been too nervous to do it because I'm paranoid that I'm going to fall asleep and smother her. The state of mind I'm in at night now though is not healthy. Need to work on it.

I know exactly what you mean about nighttime frame of mind - nights are tough because it's just a bawling, screaming blob in the dark rather than your adorable baby in the light of day.

I would remove all covers, mattress toppers (i.e. the things that make the bed softer) and pillows (trust me, you'll still be able to doze!). Just sleep on the sheet with her in the crook of your arm and latched to the "bottom" breast. If she comes unlatched and she's still asleep, you can lay her down right next to you and move an inch or two away.

[SoonerTexan]

I dreaded nights the first few weeks

[diggitydot]

You're sleep deprived and trying to find a rhythm with an irrational, albeit adorable, little terrorist.

You get to be bitchy.

[ladymoreta]

Hugs! Sleep deprivation is awful.

[Thirteen]

This thread rises up my own night time nursing PTSD.

6 weeks because you finally realize you will survive (and thrive!) into the future.
We nursed on demand, so there wasn't a clear rhythm or schedule until he was older.

LM is also in the middle of restless nights: I just feel for you both.
I am sorry it's so hard right now.


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[Urowife]

No advice, just commiserating. We are right there with the nighttime sleeping. DS is just over 6 weeks now. I'm exhausted!

[TulipsAndSunscreen]

As they get bigger, the ability to side nurse improves (I'm writing this while nursing her on my side...so clearly she doesn't need the crook of my arm anymore). We both get more sleep this way and I'm functional during the day. Dd is 6.5 months and though she could be a better sleeper (she wakes every 2-3 hours still), the night wakings are fairly brief bc I immediately nurse her back to sleep.

[MrsK]

For me, when my babies were big enough to nurse while laying down was a huge improvement. I never fully slept while my babies were in my bed - and K2 was there far more often than I would have liked. I worried I'd smother them so I was always partially awake when they were there. Sleeping with one eye open so to speak. But it was far better than not sleeping at all.