I'm dying

[alison]

Oh gosh, this sounds miserable. You did nothing wrong! I'm convinced that babies need different things at night and it's not a one size fits all sort of deal. Don't compare your kid to anyone else's because chances are, the good sleeper is an asshole when it comes to eating or something else where yours is an angel. Sending you a truckload of sleep dust. I hope this is just a phase!

[alison]

And by asshole eater I'm talking specifically about my kid, who had no discernible reasons NOT to eat.

[peggyfromwastate]

Just to echo spotty dog--- patterns set at this age don't determine how the buggers will sleep later on.

My 5 have all had very different sleep patterns. Dd5 was by far the worst sleeper. She never took a nap of longer than 20 min until age 15 months and she woke frequently at night. My oldest was the best sleeper. She took a long nap, was a textbook CIO kid (cried about 5 min then was asleep) and now at age 16 she suffers insomnia regularly. She's lucky to sleep 4 hours.

Anyway, you just trudge through. Work out a plan with your dh to give each of you a night of good sleep every 3rd night or so. Personally once I let go of expectations (like--- my baby SHOULD be sleeping thru the night and I MUST be doing something wrong) I felt free to just follow my mothering instincts with each kid. Taking away society/pediatrician/friend/grandparent expectations was very liberating.

After having 5 kids, my pat answer to parenting questions in general is: "who the hell knows" so take whatever I say with that in mind!!!

[TigerLily]

ok so..LM, her sleep really isn't consistent, except the part where it sucks. She always goes to sleep at 7, and then sometimes she wakes up at 9:45, then every 2-3 hours. If she doesn't wake up at 9:45 she almost always sleeps until either 12 or 2 which is fantastic for me! But it's rare that that happens. When I go in there I'll usually try to pat her and when that doesn't work I nurse her. Sometimes DH will go in there and pat her until she falls back asleep and then she sleeps for maybe an hour and wakes up again. I don't THINK she is actually hungry, because I can feed her for like 2 minutes and lay her back down and she goes right to sleep.
I'm not comfortable (literally comfortable) with her in our bed, because it's only a queen bed and we both take up too much room. We were in a hotel last weekend with a king and I let her sleep with us. It was much easier. I think it might almost be worth buying a bigger bed just to get some sleep.
Our older one has always been such a good sleeper. I was no prepared for this at all.

[diggitydot]

Yup, each kiddo can e very different. All of ours had drastically different experiences with sleep when they were smaller.

DD1 was a champ when it came to sleeping; 12 hours straight every night and two 2-hour naps each day from 6 weeks old until she was almost 6 y/o. Kindergarten is what put the cramp on her naps. I had no clue how good I had it until DD2 came along and liked to awaken 3-4 times a night until she was almost 2 y/o. Then DS came along and didn't stop waking up in the middle of the night until he was almost 5.

Each kid is different. The biggest challenge is discovering what works for each one.

In the upside; they're all fabulous and heavy sleepers now.

[TigerLily]

Also thanks for the encouragement. I feel like I missed a window of opportunity for a good sleeper. And I know after the rough nights she is probably just as tired as I am. But if some babies are just like this, and it might be normal then that makes me feel a little better about it.

Oh and she does sleep on her belly, that is the only way she'll sleep...ish...

[ladymoreta]

Hugs, from one bad sleeper mommy to another. It's exhausting!

It sounds like you're doing the same things I'm trying with DD overnight with similar results. It did eventually work for DS at around 18 months (although he had other issues we were working through, too). Sometimes it is just a matter of waiting for them to hit the STTN milestone on their own time, like crawling or talking.

[alison]

The belly sleeping is a red flag to me. I don't mean to alarm you, but is she comfortable lying on her back or does she seem uncomfortable?

[TigerLily]

The belly sleeping is a red flag to me. I don't mean to alarm you, but is she comfortable lying on her back or does she seem uncomfortable?

She has always hated sleeping on her back. When she was really little she would only sleep in the swing. When she moved to the pnp she would roll sort of on her side. When she got to about 6 months old and still wouldn't sleep, i started laying her on her belly and she fell asleep and slept much better. Still not good at all..buuuut she has never really slept flat on her back. Part of that is because she had awful reflux when she was a baby too...

Red flag as in...dangerous? or you think I should try laying her on her back?

[v-girl]

Does she still have reflux?

[alison]

Red flag as in reflux. . Is she taking any reflux meds?

[Michele]

What about teeth?

[SuzySunshine]

My kids ALWAYS slept on their tummies once they could rollover and only R had reflux.

[TigerLily]

Maybe it's worth giving the reflux medicine a try again.
And I kept thinking it was teeth, because she still only has 2 at 11 months! But still no sign of any others. I hope that she is the slowest teether in the world, and one day (soon) they will alllll come through and then she will sleep through the night.

[alison]

The teething could be it. Do you sense that she's in any kind of pain though? When they're teething, don't they have episodes during the day when they're unhappy, too?

I would suggest asking at your next well-baby.

Dd had reflux for a long time (we think until she was around 18 months old), of course a lot of her issues later on were lingering behavioral ones. The peds GI we saw said reflux is usually outgrown around 8-9 months, so before hopping back on the meds, I'd talk to someone first.

Good luck! I love sleep.