Please help me overthink my childcare options

[Bittersweet]

Hi! We are in your same boat finding care for DS1. He "graduates" from his current place in August (sob). I have no experience with centers (although I think I toured and liked both of your options ) but I do pay full time tutition for part-time daycare for both my boys. The flexibility has been worth every penny. If I need to work a few extra hours/ go to a doctor's appt/etc.,etc.,etc. it's no biggie. Anyway, I'd just advise you to go with your gut, not look at the expense. and chose the place that makes you feel best.

[peggyfromwastate]

I'd go with A. When reading your original post I thought it would make more sense to have 4 days of daycare-- you will need a day to just do stuff if you are working 3 days and you can't get much done on the other days because of naps and what not.

[TulipsAndSunscreen]

As far as Montessori for an infant, we have been designing her space and activities around the concepts more and more as she nears a year. I adore it and our nanny says its more fun and engaging than any infant routine she's ever done.

I get that national centers and standards are very comforting. I use the same national center as back up and in Boston when I travel, but for everyday I think Montessori would be a gift. Clearly I'm a fanatic but I would definitely consider the differences. We're you able to visit a one year old classroom only an infant room. I think you'd like what you saw if you visited the one year old room.

If I could get affordable Montessori care here as daycare, I'd do it in a heartbeat.

[GrayMatterWife]

Honestly, for me, this would be a no-brainer. Daycare A. It is very similar to what I've used both in STL and now in ATL.

Daycares associated with the hospital keep the hospital's calendar (holidays) and understand the medical life. The cloth diaper thing for me would be a non-issue. Babies don't care what they have on their butts. And, you may THINK you need only part-time care, but I assure you, you'll be regretting that assumption. Your current plan sounds like a disaster waiting to happen. You're going to go back to work for 3 days, maybe 4, while the legislature goes back into session? There is no way that you'll be working only 3 days a week. And, even if you are, you may need some flexibility on which three days--your kid WILL get sick (or you will pick up baby flu) at the most inopportune time, and you'll have to miss days and make them up later. This cobbled together "my sister may be able to cover it, if paid a bribe, or hopefully DH can cover" plan won't work long-term. Get the full five days. You said you can afford it. AND, you will get a much-needed bonus: possibly two days of serious flexibility and kid-free time for you--which, you will discover, is absolutely worth whatever you pay for it. You can run errands, clean the house, whatever you need...even if that is just a few hours. Drop baby off at the daycare from 9-11AM on one of your home days, run your errands, and you will be a sane and organized mom for baby the rest of the day.

But, of course, get on both waitlists. We were also told at both the medical center daycares that the waits were insanely long, and we got into both timely and without problems.

[GreyhoundsRUs]

possibly two days of serious flexibility and kid-free time for you--which, you will discover, is absolutely worth whatever you pay for it. You can run errands, clean the house, whatever you need...even if that is just a few hours. Drop baby off at the daycare from 9-11AM on one of your home days, run your errands, and you will be a sane and organized mom for baby the rest of the day.

This is what I would kill for. Running errands without shlepping, doing chores without missing precious sleep.

GMW is, as usual, a very wise woman.

[Phoebe]

I've never officially used daycare. We had it set up though, for DD1. I advise getting on both wait lists. I also think you should go with your gut. Where can you picture your child everyday? I didn't like the sterile vibe of hospital daycare. Good luck with your decision.

[TulipsAndSunscreen]

I've never officially used daycare. We had it set up though, for DD1. I advise getting on both wait lists. I also think you should go with your gut. Where can you picture your child everyday? I didn't like the sterile vibe of hospital daycare. Good luck with your decision.

That was the vibe I got from many of the daycares I toured. They would brag "we clean everything with bleach every 6 minutes" (slight hyperbole here) and in my brain I was like, Is that a good thing? I also know some large centers don't meet the needs well of kids who have allergies, etc. because there are so many kids and caregivers are in and out. When DD goes to the center in Boston, there are two teachers in the AM and then several others throughout the day and then others in the PM. They try to keep them the same but there's a lot of in and out. We ended up with a nanny because of our schedules (we need someone more FT for when I travel) but I would have chosen a smaller or in home setting for that reason but that's personal preference. Did one of the centers feel "better" to you? (however you would define it)

[Thirteen]

...Or, you may find you want to be home with your bundle of joy, and that's all gravy, too.
If you find yourself wanting to stay-at-home, you are always welcome in my boat.

[MrsK]

I'd also look into how long the faculty has been at the day care, what their qualifications are, how long the day care been around, what the turnover is. At ours, there are many teachers who have been there 30 years, many have masters degrees in education or childcare, many of the younger teachers attended that day care themselves, etc. Each classroom has specific teachers and aides assigned to it. There is some "in and out" as T&S described but we know everyone who works with our children and it is obvious that they all know our children very well. Oftentimes, I'm surprised at how everyone seems to know my children. For instance, when K2 began using the potty, not only did the primary teachers in his classroom know, but the teachers in K1's classroom mentioned it to me too. I like that there is good communication among the teachers and they take a comunnal approach to caring for our children.

[civilspouse]

I agree with what GMW said about having to switch days around when the baby gets sick. During DS first year in daycare I was sick a ton too. I rarely take DS to daycare if I'm not working, but it has been nice a couple times to take him in when I was really sick and spend some time at home recovering. For over a year I worked four tens to have an extra day with DS. It would have been easier to send him to daycare to run errands, but since we're apart so much I liked spending time with him and he loves going to the store. I feel really guilty taking him to daycare if I don't have to.

[SoonerTexan]

For over a year I worked four tens to have an extra day with DS. It would have been easier to send him to daycare to run errands, but since we're apart so much I liked spending time with him and he loves going to the store. I feel really guilty taking him to daycare if I don't have to.

Hey, you're me!

Reading more responses, the money savings vs. the backup of extra days is a tough call. I think my gut said money savings because for us every penny counts right now. BUT I have my mom 20 minutes away and 90% of the time, if there is an emergency I can count on her. I also have a lot of flexibility in my job in that I can work from home if I absolutely need to, though most of the time it is difficult to do so with an infant/toddler around. If you don't have any back up, it could put you in a lot of tough situations.

And people don't get it. They assume your spouse can make up the slack. Even as a 3rd year I cant count on DH to be around. I don't even think about him as a possible option anymore unless he is on a school break. You'd think having a spouse around at 5 am and 10 pm would be a no brainer, but we all know that is a very bad assumption. But, one your coworkers are likely to make. :/ In October when we had a massive project going in and I was scrambling to make everything work with sick kids on both my and vgirl's ends while working late hours, I got some "well cant your DH...?" No. He leaves at 6am or earlier and I wont see him until sometime between 8pm and 2 am. Just no. And we aren't even close to residency!

Sorry that turned into a mini rant.

I wouldn't necessarily say you would need the extra time for errands, etc. though. Once N was 3 months old, she was a lot more portable and actually fun to take places. I still like having breaks, but she can be a fun shopping buddy. Haha, if I were a stay at home mom, I'd probably want the daycare for them, though! And I wouldn't judge you for wanting to do bills or grocery shop in peace anyway. Just know it will be possible to take baby on an outing without hours of prep, because it sure wont feel like it at first!

I think you have a lot of good options!

[MrsK]

Hmm, I always thought my children were more portable as newborns when they slept in the carseat during errands. Then, they get heavy to schlep in the carseat but aren't able to sit up in a shopping cart which is hard. It's slightly better once they can sit and you don't need to schlep the carrier everywhere but then they are awake all the time. And then they get a little bigger and start having opinions about getting in the carseat or how long you can stay in the grocery without a meltdown. (This is the stage K2 is at now. I've actually become out of breath teying to wrestle him into his carseat). And then you are stuck home for naptime which cuts into errand time - even worse when they nap 2x daily and you have to squeeze errands into the few waking hours. I don't think it gets easier until they are potty trained. Then you can loose the diaper bag, they can climb into the carseat themselves, and they can be reasoned with (or bribed) for cooperation.

[SoonerTexan]

^^I don't have a full on quite toddler yet. I may eat my words in a few months

[civilspouse]

Hmm, I always thought my children were more portable as newborns when they slept in the carseat during errands.

Agreed. The newborn stage was so easy for running errands. He'd stay in the car seat or I'd pop him in a carrier and he'd sleep when he needed to. Now at two everything is planned around naps, we have breakdowns, and getting in and out of the carseat is a pain. I'm not there yet, but I think that potty training will make it harder. We'll have to drop everything and run to the bathroom.

[oceanchild]

Hi! We are in your same boat finding care for DS1. He "graduates" from his current place in August (sob). I have no experience with centers (although I think I toured and liked both of your options ) but I do pay full time tutition for part-time daycare for both my boys. The flexibility has been worth every penny. If I need to work a few extra hours/ go to a doctor's appt/etc.,etc.,etc. it's no biggie. Anyway, I'd just advise you to go with your gut, not look at the expense. and chose the place that makes you feel best.

Hey, I thought you had a nanny? I can't keep up with you guys!

As far as Montessori for an infant, we have been designing her space and activities around the concepts more and more as she nears a year. I adore it and our nanny says its more fun and engaging than any infant routine she's ever done.

I get that national centers and standards are very comforting. I use the same national center as back up and in Boston when I travel, but for everyday I think Montessori would be a gift. Clearly I'm a fanatic but I would definitely consider the differences. We're you able to visit a one year old classroom only an infant room. I think you'd like what you saw if you visited the one year old room.

If I could get affordable Montessori care here as daycare, I'd do it in a heartbeat.

The one-year room at the Montessori looked totally fun. The toddlers were outside we went by their space, but the one-year room looked awesome. Of course, I thought the toddler rooms looked more fun at the other place too. Not much "fun" stuff in an infant room generally, I guess.

You should come to Denver, btw. There are a ton of Montessori options here, including quite a few charter elementaries.

I'd also look into how long the faculty has been at the day care, what their qualifications are, how long the day care been around, what the turnover is. At ours, there are many teachers who have been there 30 years, many have masters degrees in education or childcare, many of the younger teachers attended that day care themselves, etc. Each classroom has specific teachers and aides assigned to it. There is some "in and out" as T&S described but we know everyone who works with our children and it is obvious that they all know our children very well. Oftentimes, I'm surprised at how everyone seems to know my children. For instance, when K2 began using the potty, not only did the primary teachers in his classroom know, but the teachers in K1's classroom mentioned it to me too. I like that there is good communication among the teachers and they take a comunnal approach to caring for our children.

Yeah, I misunderstood the turnover question before. Both of these places opened in the last 2 years, although the Montessori existed under different management before I think. So the continuity is hard to assess.

Thanks so much for all your thoughtful responses, everyone. So much to think about these days!