transition to big-kid bed

[Pollyanna]

I am going to caution against the changing color clock. It may be fine for some children but if you have a rule follower that also has any anxieties and you tell her she can't leave her room until the light turns green it will just increase her anxiety level. Could you imagine a rule follower that feels sick, sad, or scared but feels trapped because she knows she has to wait until the light changes? I know that for our oldest it would have been cruel to use that clock. Some of our other kids would have done fine with it. Do what brings comfort and sleep to your sweet girl and to her mama and papa. You'll know what works best.

[spotty_dog]

I'm definitely not a Supernanny adherent. I attend to my kids' needs around the clock and I don't believe in enforcing rules for the sake of enforcing them. But I do stick to some personal guidelines that seem to help keep their little circadian rhythms in order. I set up our evening routine to be a "glide path to sleep". We do lower and lower energy things, more and more relaxing (bath, stories), lower and lower lights. Then it's tucked in and lights out. After lights-out, mama does *nothing* exciting. The only words out of my mouth are "ssh-ssh, time for sleeping." Lights never come back up. Motions are always steady (if I hear the pitter-patter of little feet, I run to catch them before they head down the stairs, but I slow to a steady walk before I come into view). One trick that worked well with DD was to give her a small snack. I know, terrible for dental health, but 3-4 grapes cut in quarters, or a half piece of bread, kept her in bed and contented and that would help her be in place when she drifted off.

It did take some patience, with both kids, and a lot of love. Transitions aren't easy for anyone, parents least of all, but we get through them. And at 3.5 I think it's reasonable to transition away from the crib. If the back rubbing and talking isn't working for you, move to something else. You'll get through this. (Like so much else about the earlier stages, this one is already just a memory. It's weird for me to think of the days of "call-backs" or the invariable 3am creeping to our bed, when our bedtime can currently be abbreviated to teeth-potty-jammies-bed-kiss, close the door and don't hear a peep from either until 7:30 for DS or 8:00 for DD...)

[SuzySunshine]

As we always say with every parenting decision, every child is different. My children only thrive with consistency. If they come out for no reason they are escorted back to their room with no comment or a very nice "its bed time" Of course my kids room is attached to their bathroom so unless they are sick or scared they have no reason to come out of their room. They know those are acceptable reasons, they also know otherwise they will be escorted back to their room until their light turns green. Every once in a while they test their limits but after about a week of the consistent escorts back to their room they got the point.

ETA: I also wouldn't change your bedtime routine because you've moved her to big a bed, IMO that just confuses them.

[alison]

My sleep deprived brain read "small smack." . Dd has passed out in the stroller on the walk home from preschool. A little tired? You don't say....

[v-girl]

My sleep deprived brain read "small smack." .

Yeh, just smack her and she should quiet down. Kidding! This made me giggle. Take a nap Alison!

[spotty_dog]

My sleep deprived brain read "small smack." . Dd has passed out in the stroller on the walk home from preschool. A little tired? You don't say....

Hope tonight goes better, without smacking!

[BonBon]

Yeh, just smack her and she should quiet down. Kidding! This made me giggle. Take a nap Alison!

I have to admit, sometimes the smacking is tempting!!

[HouseofWool]

I have to admit, sometimes the smacking is tempting!!

Oh gosh, isn't that the truth!

[MrsK]

Isn't that why the Little Old Lady Who Lived In A Shoe whipped them all soundly and sent them to bed?

Remember when you were a little girl and got bored with your baby dolls? You just swaddled them in a blanket and put them down for a nap. Wish it was that easy with real babies.

[GreyhoundsRUs]

Isn't that why the Little Old Lady Who Lived In A Shoe whipped them all soundly and sent them to bed?

Remember when you were a little girl and got bored with your baby dolls? You just swaddled them in a blanket and put them down for a nap. Wish it was that easy with real babies.

you mean you don't cover the babies in a blanket and leave them in the Cozy Coupe???

[alison]

My real baby used to sleep like that. Swaddled and her lights were out! . This is why we swaddled dd until just a couple of weeks ago! Really!

[alison]

In no way was I expecting this transition to be a linear one, but man, after a week of interrupted sleep, I'm starting to realize that I'm closer to 40 than to 20. .

We have tried just about everything that I've got up my sleeve: cloud b stars, ok to wake owl, lock on door, and walking dd back to her room 50+ times. Last night, dd was so tired that she fell asleep immediately at 7:30 (she's been sick), and woke up at 11pm. The falling asleep on her own was a pleasant surprise! She stayed up until 3:30am. We pulled out the big guns--me sleeping on the floor next to her (nope), she sleeping in our bed (nope). S

he just seems to get riled up in her big kid bed. No amount of walking her back to her bed helps. She just doesn't get bored of popping back up and getting walked back to bed.

I've asked her if she wants her crib back, and she says no.

This gets easier, right?

[HouseofWool]

Is she in a toddler bed, or in a twin?

What about putting the mattress on the floor so that falling isn't a concern? She might be worried about it, but unable to articulate.

[scrub-jay]

I think for a while we let our daughter sleep on a mat on the floor, if she got up and went to lay down on her mat it was her choice. Eventually she ditched the mat and chose her bed.

[alison]

Thanks. We could try putting a mattress next to her bed. It's a toddler bed--smaller than a twin, bigger than a crib. Her problem is more the inability to self soothe and not wanting to be alone. She said she didn't want to sleep by herself.