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Birds & Bees for Preschoolers?

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  • #1

    Birds & Bees for Preschoolers?

    K1 (age 3.5yo) has been asking some really specific questions about my pregnancy. Primarily, he's asking about fetal development. How big is lamb? (He calls her lamb.) Does she have eyes? arms? a belly button? Can she hear me? How big is mommy's tummy going to get? He hasn't yet asked how she got in there but I expect he will sometime in the next year. He's also been lecturing me about getting rest and eating when lamb is hungry; he scolded me for postponing my breakfast this morning.

    I've shown him his baby pictures including pictures of me when I was pregnant with him, ultrasound pictures, and his own newborn pictures. Can any one recommend a kid-friendly book about pregnancy/fetal development/newborns that will not be too technical or creepy? Our pediatrician was flabbergasted when we brought it up and thought we should just stick with the "you're gonna be a big brother" variety of toddler books that talk more about how mommy and daddy still love you and it's so cool to be a big brother. That's fine for K2 but K1 is past that point. I don't want to overwhelm him with information or volunteer things that he's not asking but I want to be able to answer his questions directly.
    Wife and #1 Fan of Attending Adult & Geriatric Psychiatrist.
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  • #2
    My "go to" book is Dr. Laura Berman's one on talking to your kids about sex. It has great open ended and nonthreatening conversation starters for all ages.

    My take on sexual education is that it is a life long conversation and I am as interested in my kids' sexual development as I am every other aspect of their development. We skew a little more than open for most American famiiles, TBH. Daddy regularly operates on testicals, anuses, vaginas, etcetera. In fact, it is a regular topic of dinner conversation. My teen got the highest score on his reproductive health test in the entire school last year. I don't know if I should be proud of these bragging rights but he has mentioned that 7th grade health was a bit redundant. LOL.

    Good luck. The earlier you start, the easier it is. Don't build it up into a big monumental moment.
    In my dreams I run with the Kenyans.

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    • #3
      I'm as honest and as detailed as I feel the situation calls for, asking the kids what they think and waiting for them to ask before offering more detail. We're as far as there being a cell from a man (that forms in the testicles) and a cell from a woman (that forms in the ovaries) that combine their genetic material and divide rapidly to become the growing baby in the uterus. The baby exits via the birth canal, or occasionally, the woman needs surgery for the baby to get out. I've wimped out and used distraction any time the conversation has ranged toward how does the baby get in there, but that part of the conversation is coming soon for DS I think. There's a good book that gets recommended frequently, I need to find the reference again... Ah! This one. http://www.amazon.com/Its-Not-Stork-.../dp/0763633313
      Alison

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      • #4
        Originally posted by MrsK View Post
        Our pediatrician was flabbergasted when we brought it up and thought we should just stick with the "you're gonna be a big brother" variety of toddler books that talk more about how mommy and daddy still love you and it's so cool to be a big brother. That's fine for K2 but K1 is past that point. I don't want to overwhelm him with information or volunteer things that he's not asking but I want to be able to answer his questions directly.
        WTF? Get a new pediatrician! This is completely and totally normal and you should not dismiss his questions by avoiding them.

        I don't have a book recommendation--I can only share what we did. We told DS the truth, in an age appropriate way, framed in our religious beliefs: I am pregnant because Mom and Dad had intercourse, which is an act of love God intended between married people. In intercourse, Mom and Dad hug and kiss a lot, but in a way that is different that we hug or kiss you, or hug or kiss anyone else for that matter. We also share our bodies with one another, because it feels good and special. Dad puts in penis my my vagina and shares his special "boy" cells that meet up with my "girl" cells. When the cells unite, a baby can start to grow in me.

        I am not saying this level of detail is what everyone would want, but I definitely would NOT blow him off with a "you're gonna be a big brother! diversion. Give the kid a bit more credit. It sounds like you were not even considering that, anyway!

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        • #5
          The story of me
          by brenna jones
          -Ladybug

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          • #6
            Originally posted by GrayMatterWife View Post
            WTF? Get a new pediatrician! This is completely and totally normal and you should not dismiss his questions by avoiding them.

            I don't have a book recommendation--I can only share what we did. We told DS the truth, in an age appropriate way, framed in our religious beliefs: I am pregnant because Mom and Dad had intercourse, which is an act of love God intended between married people. In intercourse, Mom and Dad hug and kiss a lot, but in a way that is different that we hug or kiss you, or hug or kiss anyone else for that matter. We also share our bodies with one another, because it feels good and special. Dad puts in penis my my vagina and shares his special "boy" cells that meet up with my "girl" cells. When the cells unite, a baby can start to grow in me.

            I am not saying this level of detail is what everyone would want, but I definitely would NOT blow him off with a "you're gonna be a big brother! diversion. Give the kid a bit more credit. It sounds like you were not even considering that, anyway!
            Mostly I think he was surprised that a 3yo would ask. But yeah, people are squimish here. My OB even gets jumpy if I have questions about sex. We're moving in 6 weeks and will have all new doctors soon. In the interim I've just addressed these types of questions with the developmental psychology folks and educators.

            Sent from my SCH-I545 using Tapatalk 4 Beta
            Wife and #1 Fan of Attending Adult & Geriatric Psychiatrist.

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            • #7
              My boys loved the book "A Child Is Born"....great photos of fetal development.
              Wife of an OB/Gyn, mom to three boys, middle school choir teacher.

              "I don't know when Dad will be home."

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              • #8
                BTW, in case someone else is looking for this. . . I just got this one from Amazon and it looks like it will fill the bill: http://www.amazon.com/Whats-Inside-Y.../dp/0805087605 It's not too detailed/clinical but has drawings and text that are suited for a 3yo.
                Wife and #1 Fan of Attending Adult & Geriatric Psychiatrist.

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