Spouse Help

[ladymoreta]

A little off-topic, but remember that when he *is* there and able to help, don't jump in and take over too quickly. None of us think we'll do it, but it's just instinctive when your baby is crying and you know how to fix it. Also, pretty early on, like the first week, start leaving the house for an hour or so right after a feeding. He'll appreciate the time to figure out the baby without you around.

[alotofyarn]

A little off-topic, but remember that when he *is* there and able to help, don't jump in and take over too quickly. None of us think we'll do it, but it's just instinctive when your baby is crying and you know how to fix it. Also, pretty early on, like the first week, start leaving the house for an hour or so right after a feeding. He'll appreciate the time to figure out the baby without you around.

Thanks - this is good advice!

[metroguy]

personally, i think it's best to get family/hired help + lived close the hospital.. otherwise it's very difficult to manage having a baby. and since i'm a guy--nothing wrong with formula at nights. i did that with both kids. sure milk supply is a lot less but there's also more sanity and a lot more sleep (formula is heavier and the baby should be able to sleep/less feeding at night).

[SoonerTexan]

and since i'm a guy--nothing wrong with formula at nights. i did that with both kids. sure milk supply is a lot less but there's also more sanity and a lot more sleep (formula is heavier and the baby should be able to sleep/less feeding at night).

Good man! I think the biggest concern is replacing a feeding with formula while milk is trying to regulate in the first few weeks so you don't set yourself up for supply issues.

[ladymoreta]

Good man! I think the biggest concern is replacing a feeding with formula while milk is trying to regulate in the first few weeks so you don't set yourself up for supply issues.

Yes! We happily went to formula for overnight feedings later on, even when I was the one getting up to feed them.

[Deebs]

DH and I (but really I) keep a running list of things that need to get done. It could include a bill that needs to get paid, laundry, or really any to-do item. When we're both busy or overwhelmed, it gives him an easy idea for where to pitch in and keeps us both on track.


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[metroguy]

Good man! I think the biggest concern is replacing a feeding with formula while milk is trying to regulate in the first few weeks so you don't set yourself up for supply issues.

for the first baby, my wife was more gong-ho about breast feeding. she was very depress about her milk supply/latching issues.. she try all sorts of stuff to increase the milk supply but to no avail. for the second kid-- she was not concern and basically said the hell with it.. (yes, i feel sad that the second kid got short end of the stick).
now that both kid are older - 6/3 yrs old i can safely say--don't worry about the small stuff--and worry about the big stuff. breast feeding (to me) is on the small stuff side. sure, your baby may not have the best food but it's better to have a less stress out (more caring) parents. i formula the kids at night. my wife got her sleep and is able to function well during the rounds. sadly--due to stress of 2 kids/me waking at night/economy--i couldn't function well in my job--and got layoff... argghhhh.. i found another one but took a pay cut.

[alison]

I wasn't able to breast feed. For awhile there, I was waking with dd to try to bf and then pumping as well to get my milk production up. Round the clock, every 2 hours. By the time I got dd down and pumped, she'd be up again an hour later. It was crazy and I was walking into walls. Because dh is well-trained, he'd get up with me and just sit there feeling sorry for me.

I finally stopped with the bf-ing ridiculousness, and we started formula. Dh and I would alternate feedings, so we'd each get a 4-hour chunk of sleep. It was funny, because dh would take the 2am and 4am feedings, while I did the 11pm one. Dd lost her 11pm feeding first, and dh was doing both overnight feedings. Man, was I getting some good sleep.

We didn't have any family or friends close by during fellowship year, so it was hell.

We outsourced cleaning and got a groceries delivered from Safeway. Everything else I ordered on diapers.com. Where we lived they even had a garbage valet service--people came directly to the house door and collected our bags offl garbage. Outsource for your sanity!