Ugh This Child!!

[TulipsAndSunscreen]

E is a master tantrum thrower already - I can't imagine a second one being worse! She's also started spitting, which is super annoying.

Just don't react. It will stop eventually. Don't react negatively OR positively just stare blankly.

[SoonerTexan]

All right people who have used the sleep lady book and done the "sleep lady shuffle" walk me through this and give me moral support. I read most of the book over Christmas and realized this is pretty much what we did with N.

So we are starting with Baby J tonight. We can get him to sleep in the crib now at the beginning of the night (before I couldn't even put him down) but he has to be asleep already. He keeps attacking me trying to nurse at night and I'm not getting enough sleep so we are going for broke and trying to get him to sleep in his crib all night vs bringing him in anymore (which worked with N because she slept calmly--he does not). I'm a little terrified about how this is going to go. She has a little blurb about kids with certain traits and how they might resist more--it described my son to a T.

He is a freaking wild animal lately. Biting (though it is getting a little better) and just insane. I'm getting that this depends on getting him to learn to go to sleep completely on his own and I just don't see this happening. What do I do if he screams for 2 hours and wont go down? Because this kid will--he is stubborn and both my kids can survive on remarkably little sleep.

[ladymoreta]

Took the lazy way out and copied from a previous post where I wrote out my method:

If anyone has done the back out of the room process, let me know your approach and how long it took.

We did this, but we had to start with being right next to the crib, so you're way ahead of us. I think it took about 3 weeks for DS to be okay with it and about 2 weeks for DD. (But we went back to holding them to sleep during sickness or teething if they wanted it, so there were a lot of setbacks.) We started the night with bedtime routine and the retuck (saying goodnight and walking out of the room, closing the door - our ideal scenario). As we walked out, we specified the duration we'd be gone. Initially, it was "I'll be back in one minute if you need me." By the end, it was 5 minutes.

Then, after the retuck period, we'd come back to the crib, pat or pick up to soothe, then lay them down and go to the spot where we'd stay until they went to sleep, moving farther away as they became comfortable. If they cried, we'd make a shushing sound or say soothing words. If they started escalating crying, we'd go back and pat them until they calmed down, then returned to our spot.

If they were playing, the rules changed. We would kind of do a Supernanny thing where we started out laying them back down, giving kisses, and saying good night (no extra song) the first time they stood up. The second time, we told them more sternly "It's bedtime. Lie down." Then we physically laid them back down on the bed. After that, I would tell them "Okay, if you'd like to play, you can play for 2 (or 5 later) minutes. I'll be back when you're ready to sleep." Then I would leave the room and close the door for the duration. They didn't like that at all, so when I returned, they'd usually get serious about going to sleep, and I'd return to my spot.

[ladymoreta]

I'm a little terrified about how this is going to go. She has a little blurb about kids with certain traits and how they might resist more--it described my son to a T.

He is a freaking wild animal lately. Biting (though it is getting a little better) and just insane. I'm getting that this depends on getting him to learn to go to sleep completely on his own and I just don't see this happening. What do I do if he screams for 2 hours and wont go down? Because this kid will--he is stubborn and both my kids can survive on remarkably little sleep.

You know my horror stories from DS... 5 hours of crying, 2 nights in a row (I gave up both times; he didn't), and we were DONE with CIO. I wouldn't recommend letting J get to the point of screaming (except sometimes during the "play" times when you leave the room, but you calm him afterwards). If he's like DS, screaming was the point of no return. He had to be kept calm enough, or he would never go to sleep. That's where the shuffle comes in, and it keeps them from getting too worked up. He will cry, a lot. This probably isn't going to be one of those cases where he cries for 10 minutes and never wakes overnight again. We just didn't have that kind of kid. I think at first, it did take 1-2 hours for my kids to fall asleep. It's a huge time commitment, and it's really frustrating. We're here for you. Text if you need to, and I'll try to follow along if you post here. Lots of hugs.

I don't know how many times I read this article when we were struggling, and I love it: http://www.babysleepsite.com/baby-sl.../#.VKW_pivF98E.

[Thirteen]

E is a master tantrum thrower already - I can't imagine a second one being worse! She's also started spitting, which is super annoying.

I did sign language - signing "finished", saying "Bo spitting!" and walking away or removing him from the situation.
I'm the meanest. 😄
#askmeabouttimeout


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[Thirteen]

ST, in all seriousness, we did "nap boot camp" at 9 months, and it took 2 weeks, but we never went to CIO and the mattresses.
Setting a timer helped, as did patting and shushing.


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[SoonerTexan]

It has begun. Standing and screeching

[L.Jane]

It has begun. Standing and screeching

hugs. you can do it mama.

[TulipsAndSunscreen]

You can do it. We did this with #1 at 20 months and it was SO freeing. DD2 is better at falling asleep (although that may change when I wean her next week).

[SoonerTexan]

It went okay. I had to rock him for awhile and then sing/rub his face while he went to sleep...which the books says to avoid, but at least he went to sleep awake IN the crib. Otherwise I could tell he was just going to scream at me all night. Hopefully it gets better. I'm about to go "wake" him up to nurse.

I really wish we could just focus on getting him down and bring him to our bed like we did with N. I'm going to miss cuddling with him. He just is such a wild animal though that it is so disruptive to our sleep.

[OrionGrad]

Hugs!

[L.Jane]

How are things going?

[SoonerTexan]

First night was okay. Second night was meh. Lots of wake ups and I nursed him twice and he didn't nurse well so that was stupid. And then I was so exhausted this morning I didn't go wake him up at 7:30 and brought him to our bed when he got up at 8. :/

DH is in there right now. He was super clingy and pissed today and we think he wasn't feeling good but I hope he isn't traumatized

[ladymoreta]

The clinginess was most likely from just being tired. It will take awhile, but he'll get there. For everything I tried, I gave at least two weeks to see if it helped long-term. If it doesn't, scrap it and try something else, but don't give up too soon. It's a slow process, and it involves a lot of intuition on Mommy's side. Go with your gut, but don't be afraid to stick it out a little longer even with very little early success if you think it will ultimately benefit you both.

[ladymoreta]

Also, if you get to the the point of being too tired to deal with it overnight, or if he gets too overtired, just focus on the initial falling asleep period, then do what you have to do overnight. They learn the most in the first falling-asleep, so even if you have to bring him to bed with you at some point overnight, it will be okay at this point. You can work on overnight later. Focus on having him fall asleep in his own room at the beginning of the night for now.